


Born To Be Wild

by mottsforthots



Series: Reylo Fics [6]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: 80s, Aftermath of Violence, Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Rock Band, Alternate Universe- Late 70s, Alternate Universe- Rock and Roll, Angst and Romance, Apologies, Blood, Catholic Character, Catholicism, Christian Girl Rey, Cigarettes, Dog Tags, Drama & Romance, Electric Guitars, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Romance, F/M, Falling In Love, Family Drama, Family Fluff, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Forbidden Love, Happy Ending, Happy Sex, Heartbreak, Idiots in Love, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Late 70s, Lead Singer, Loss of Virginity, Love, Love Confessions, Love at First Sight, Love songs, Minor Violence, Misunderstandings, Nipple Licking, Nipple Play, One Big Happy Family, Opposites Attract, Oral Sex, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Other Ships Not Mentioned in Tags, POV Alternating, Recreational Drug Use, Rehabilitation, Rock Band, Rock Concert, Rock Stars, Rock Tour, Rock and Roll, Rocker Kylo, Romance, Rough Kissing, Rough Sex, Rough past, Sabotage, Secret Manipulation, Secret Past, Sex, Smoking, Smut, Sneaking Out, Songwriting, Soulmates, Strangers to Lovers, Tags Contain Spoilers, Tags May Change, The Bourbon Room, Threats of Violence, Tragic Romance, Unrequited Love, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, Virgin Rey (Star Wars), Virginity, Virign, never ending love, rock music, rock n' roll, rockstar - Freeform, rough smut, singer Kylo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-18
Updated: 2020-06-28
Packaged: 2021-02-23 02:01:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 81,444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23203903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mottsforthots/pseuds/mottsforthots
Summary: Convinced by her best friend to sneak out of their strict Catholic boarding school to attend a rock concert, Rey anxiously tags along with adventurous Rose to see her favorite band and their lead singer, Kylo Ren. One song in, Rey is hooked and more than willing to try and catch a glimpse of the rugged singer with a tendency to drink and smoke too much. The trade off of his dog tags to buying records and guitars leads Rey down a wild path of romance she never imagined for herself, and dangerous consequences seem to follow with each step they take forward in their relationship.Based roughly on the band Aerosmith.
Relationships: Kylo Ren & Rey, Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey & Ben Solo, Rey & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Series: Reylo Fics [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1485977
Comments: 77
Kudos: 349
Collections: Read SW stuff





	1. Dream On

**Author's Note:**

> [Born To Be Wild Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5NunkPDQDv3PEHHbTe2336)   
>  [My Twitter](https://twitter.com/driverdiary)   
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy! xx

“Please? It’ll be so much fun, Rey! You know how much I love them!” Rose pleaded from across the room, flinging herself onto her twin sized bed as she watched her best friend continue to pack all of her things. “Plus, this is the last week I’ll have you with me before you leave forever.” 

Rey sighed at the cheap move Rose had just used against her and turned with her hands on her hips to look at the younger girl in their shared bedroom. “And what do we do if Sister Maz catches us? Hmm? I’m too close to freedom to get caught for sneaking out, Rose. Especially for some rock concert,” Rey scolded, cocking an eyebrow at her friend who already looked like she was trying to figure everything out.

“Well it’s not just _some_ rock concert, it’s the Knights of Ren, Rey. The Knights of Ren! They’re performing at The Bourbon Room, Rey, that’s just a few blocks down from here,” Rose continued, suddenly sitting up with excited eyes as she gave an over exaggerated sigh and collapsed on her back with her hand across her forehead. 

Nibbling on her bottom lip, Rey looked at her friend and realized this really was the last week she’d be seeing her before she was out of the boarding school for good and starting her job as a teacher in Los Angeles, not too far away from the boarding school in Hollywood, but still away from Rose. 

Rey had started at the school later than all of the other girls, already twenty when everyone else in her grade was eighteen, like Rose. It wasn’t her fault her parents dumped her on the front door step with nothing but the clothes on her back and no formal education. Chandrila Catholic School for Girls had been Rey’s home since she was five and she considered herself to always be a good girl when it came to her involvement with the establishment.

She never skipped her classes, was never late, always did her assignments on time, never snuck out at night, and was always in high standing with her teachers and peers. Rey wore her cross around her neck and prayed every night before bed and was always quick to visit the confessional if she thought she did something wrong. Most of the time, the Sisters just smiled at her kindly and shook their heads, laughing off the sin of ‘staying up past bedtime to read magazines with Rose’ more times than Rey would’ve liked to admit.

Many people at the Catholic school thought Rey would take vows to become a nun herself and teach at the establishment, but Rey had always longed to travel, even if that meant just moving twenty minutes away to get a formal job as a teacher. So this was her last week at Chandrila and now Rose was begging her to break every rule just days before her freedom. 

With a nervous shift on her feet and the crossing of her arms, Rey finally gave in. “Fine! Fine, but I’m only going to make sure you don’t get hurt!” Rose squealed and jumped up from the bed, rushing across the room to squeeze her best friend tightly as she promised giddily, “I promise you won't regret it, Rey! It’s going to be amazing!”

*****

Kylo stared out of the tour bus window and lazily played with the strings on his electric guitar rested haphazardly across his lap. “You look positively miserable,” Phasma chided from beside him, collapsing into the long booth-style seating running the length of the bus, an open beer in her hand and Hux stretched out beside her. “Didn’t think it took this long to get from Vegas to Hollywood,” he grumbled.

One thick and veiny hand ran through the untamed black locks haloed around his head and he felt for the sunglasses lost somewhere in the tangled mess to tug over his eyes. “Someone’s in a mood today,” Mitaka shot from somewhere else in the bus, probably the bunks lining the walls. “Maybe if I had a cigarette it would be different,” Kylo just huffed back as he continued to play the guitar drunkenly. 

Hux and Phasma shared a concerned look at the sight of their lead singer, already out of it and continuously spiraling with every day that passed. It was obvious the man needed help, but he refused it adamantly and had no problem drinking the problems away before lighting another smoke with steady hands. It wasn’t like the fans cared, in fact, they seemed to eat up his behavior and play it off as just another rock star amid the ocean of drug inhaling and alcohol absorbing singers. 

When no one seemed to move to get him what he wanted, Kylo just fumbled in his back pocket to find the white stick and red lighter beside it. “You sure that’s a good idea?” Phasma questioned cautiously while Hux shifted beside her. “I’d love to hear a better one,” Kylo shot back. 

So the drive continued with Kylo pulling long draws from the cigarette and clumsily fingering the notes to a song they were going to perform at The Bourbon Room tonight. When their manager, Snoke, had told them they were going to be playing the most popular venue in Hollywood, everyone had practically pissed their pants with excitement. 

Everyone but Kylo. 

The Knights of Ren had really only been on the map for about a year and their album Across the Stars was what truly set them off. Topping the charts for months on end, they were suddenly booked at every big venue possible and tickets were sold out faster than Kylo could blink. Every night was someplace new, sure, but it seemed the faces stayed the same.

Just another crowd with wild eyes, extended hands, and shouting mouths. He’d had countless women and men throw themselves at him and offer him things the high school virgin version of himself would’ve jumped at immediately, but it had lost its interest about ten shows in. And while he was living the life he’d only ever imagined when he was younger, it seemed like something was missing from it all.

Maybe that was why Kylo drank and smoked so much, but he didn’t want to think about all the things that were wrong when everything seemed to be going so right. The bus rattled over a bump in the road and Kylo was pulled out of the blue back to the present, his eyes catching sight of the end of his cigarette that appeared dangerously close to falling and burning his lap.

So with a sigh, Kylo pulled the thing from his mouth and tapped the end of it over a glass tray before returning to the guitar in his lap. “Are you good to play tonight, mate?” Hux questioned as the drummer and bassist watched him adamantly. “I’m always good to play,” Kylo growled, abruptly standing from the seat and dropping the guitar on the cushioning before heading in the direction of the showers. 

He needed to get the fuck out of there.

*****

Rey stared at herself in the mirror and ran an anxious hand through her brown hair that fell just above her ass. She’d gotten bangs years ago to match with the groovy style of the 60s, but before she knew it, the 70s came and left that style behind. She was still trying to figure out how to style the awkward length around her face when everything else was so long, so she settled on two white barrettes to hold the locks out of her face. 

She’d never worn the shirt currently on her body, an impulse buy encouraged by none other than Rose. A floral patterned top that tied up just below her breasts and showed off the toned skin of her tanned stomach, Rey nervously tried to tug it down a little with no avail. The high waisted denim shorts helped somewhat, but they were also incredibly short and the chunky brown high heels only emphasized how long and thin her legs were.

She sure looked like an everyday girl in the 70s, but Rey usually settled on bootcut jeans and t-shirts if she was going out. The gasp from behind her had Rey whirling around to meet the stunned expression of Rose who clapped her hands over her mouth and stared excitedly at her best friend. “Rey! You look fucking amazing!” Rose yelped, hurrying forward to examine every inch of her outfit.

Rose had settled on a black mini skirt, tights, and orange elbow length top with matching block heels-- an obvious look she’d created specifically for this night. Even her lips were painted a dangerous red. While Rey looked dressed for a summer day in the park, Rose looked ready to get absolutely wasted at a rock concert. “You think so?” Rey worried out loud, turning back to the mirror to fiddle with the tied up shirt.

“If I was Kylo Ren, I’d definitely fuck you,” Rose stated bluntly. Rey nearly choked on her own air at the statement. Yes, Rey was still a virgin at the age of twenty, but to be fair, she’d grown up in a goddamn Catholic boarding school and didn’t take the same risks her younger friend did. That being said, Rey was definitely a woman and had her own share of needs.

So maybe Sister Maz didn’t need to know during confessional about the nights Rey had touched herself or flipped through a porn magazine or two when she went shopping, but Rey considered herself, as cheesy as it sounded, ready to sin. 

“Well God forbid I hook up with a random man at a rock concert,” Rey huffed as she walked over to her bed and sat down to watch Rose slather another layer of red lipstick on. Gaping at what she’d just said, Rose suddenly slammed the tube of lipstick on the vanity and spun around with a stunned expression. “ _Random man?_ Have you even _seen_ Kylo Ren?”

Before she could say no, Rose was diving under her twin bed and pulling out stacks of magazines. Grabbing the first one on top, Rose rushed over to Rey and began to flip eagerly through the thin paper until she landed on a two page print out of a man with shaggy black hair gripping a microphone covered in scarves.

He wore a loose see-through black shirt unbuttoned all the way down to his mid torso to show off sculpted and sweaty planes of abs, a black choker around his neck and long chains swinging between his chest. His wrists were covered in black bracelets and the spotlights around his head gave him an ethereal type of glow as he sang into the microphone. 

And Jesus, his hands were huge as they gripped the microphone, the muscles in his arms bulging under the transparent black fabric of his shirt. 

Rey visibly gulped at the sight of him and quickly pushed the magazine down as she stood and walked back towards the floor length mirror in their room. “You’re funny if you think a man like that is going to drop everything at the sight of a girl with a cross around her neck,” Rey played off jokingly even though she smoothed out her hair and fiddled with the silver chain around her neck. 

“Please, you’re practically the definition of something he’d like to defile. Anyway, we need to get going if we want to get a good spot. I bet the line’s already out the door.”

So Rey just nodded along to what Rose said and let her best friend sneak her out of the boarding school with a perfection that Rey seriously didn’t want to question about. They giggled as they ran down the empty streets in the direction of Hollywood Boulevard, the sounds of screams and cheers growing louder and louder as they got closer to the bustling area. 

Of course, Hollywood Boulevard was lit up with bright colors, flashing signs, and flickering buildings as hundreds of people flooded the streets in the direction of the venue. Girls raced past them on roller skates with swimsuit tops on, men break danced on the corners for money, and couples groped each other freely on the sides of shops lining the road.

Rey stared at everything with wide eyes and an open mouth, holding Rose’s hand tightly as she soaked in the night life of Hollywood. They passed half naked women dancing in windows of strip clubs, brightly lit record stores filled with critical eyes and wandering hands, and greasy fast food joints seeming to cater to more than one already drunken soul. 

Rose just continued to tug her along until they approached the giant black building with a startling red neon sign that spelled out in shocking capital letters _THE BOURBON ROOM_. Spotlights waved on either side of it and police were already lined up on the street as barriers were set up in the road to keep people back.

On one side were those trying to get into the club while the other side held masses of protestors. Rey only had a few moments to read some of their signs before Rose was pulling her deep into the crowd trying to get in. 

_GOD HATES ROCK!_

_ROCK AND ROLL IS A SIN!_

_ROCKERS GO TO HELL!_

Rey tried not to think about the signs too much and instead focused on the fact she felt like she was being crushed on every side of her, the air getting sucked out of her lungs as people shoved excitedly to try and get to the front. But somehow, Rose had managed to weave them through the mass of people to the very front where a man with tanned skin and curly brown hair guarded the entrance.

“Poe!” Rose screamed over everyone else, the security guard lifting his eyes from the ID he was currently scanning to lock eyes on Rey’s best friend. A grin filled his entire face instantly and he waved the girl he was just inspecting into the establishment without another glance at the plastic card she was holding out. “I didn’t think you were going to make it out tonight! Who’s this?” Poe asked after hugging Rose.

“This is my best friend, Rey! You know, the one I always talk about? This is her first rock concert,” Rose gushed, squeezing Rey’s hand tightly and bouncing a little in her place. “Well shit, in that case I have to get you to the front. I’ll have Finn come grab you guys,” Poe stated, looking over his shoulder to try and lock eyes with someone. 

Only a minute later, he was waving to whoever was inside and another man with a kind face and ripped up black shirt soon jogged over. “Finn, this is Rey, Rose’s best friend. She’s never been to a rock concert before! Want to hook ‘em up?” Poe asked with a mischievous grin. “Oh hell yeah, I got you,” Finn agreed, clapping Poe on the back before turning to the two girls and waving them inside.

“Move it! Out of the way! Special guests coming through! Excuse us!” Finn yelled as he pushed through the crowd, Rose and Rey trailing behind with giant smiles and thrilled eyes. When they finally made it to the very front, Rey’s body pressed up against the stage and the sight of drums and set up guitars only feet away, she finally processed that she was in the first fucking row at a rock concert for the best band in the business right now.

Swallowing thickly at the thought, she managed to thank Finn along with Rose and waved goodbye while her friend began to word vomit how excited she was about the concert. Rey learned all she possibly could in the matter of thirty minutes about the Knights of Ren and by the time her feet were starting to hurt from standing, an older man with a flowing yellow top and bootcut jeans was running on stage with a microphone in his hand.

The crowd erupted into ear shattering screams and Rey actually flinched at the sound as the man just gave an award winning smile and waved his hand. “Thank you, thank you! My name is Lando Calrissian,” the crowd cheered in acknowledgment, “and I’m one of the managers here at The Bourbon Room! We thank you for coming out tonight to see our headliner… _the Knights of Ren!_ ” 

Rey couldn’t help but scream this time, clapping her hands as a euphoric feeling began to race through her veins. Rose was jumping up and down beside her and hollering at the top of her lungs which left a whole heartedly amused smile on Rey’s face. “Ladies and Gentlemen… the moment you’ve all been waiting for, the biggest rock band in the goddamn country… Knights of Ren!”

If Rey thought her ear drums were damaged before, they were definitely ruptured from the sound of screaming and cheering alone. She laughed wildly as she clapped her hands over her ears and watched the lights dim. Three shadowy figures crept onto stage, two of them picking up guitars as another one sat down behind the drums. 

Fog slowly began to creep onto the stage and spill over to spread a light chill across Rey’s body, as if she wasn’t already getting goosebumps alone. The sound of the ride cymbal suddenly building in the background sent adrenaline through Rey’s veins and Rose clutched her hand tightly while screaming, “This is it!” 

Rey’s eyes scanned the stage feverishly as she tried to guess who Kylo Ren was, but then the guitars were feeding into the drum and starting to ease into the introduction of a song. With lips parted and eyes wide, Rey held her breath when another figure, obscenely tall and muscular, began to walk across the stage from the left side.

When he reached the microphone stand and turned to look over his shoulder at his band, assuming a loose stance and slapping his hand against the side of his jeans, the lights abruptly turned on to reveal a man in black jeans, black heeled boots, and a white tunic shirt tucked into the front of his pants.

Scarves of different colors were tied around his right belt loop and a magnitude of chains hung around his neck to rest on the open v displaying his toned chest. The white shirt was rolled up to his elbows to display thick and veiny forearms that Rey had the sudden urge to be lifted up by. 

_Fuck, he could probably throw her around like a rag doll if he really wanted to._

Large rings sat spread out over thick fingers and if Rey looked close enough, she could just barely tell that feathers were attached in the thick mop of tousled black hair that cascaded around an angular and intense face. With full lips, scattered moles, long nose, chiseled jaw, and dark eyes, Kylo Ren was the closest thing to living sin Rey had ever seen. 

And when his eyes suddenly landed on hers, it seemed like all of the breath was sucked instantly from her body. He licked his lips and very pointedly looked her body up and down with a certain hunger before finding her gaze once more and giving her a wink. “Holy shit, did Kylo Ren just fucking _wink_ at you?” Rose screamed from beside her. 

Stunned and unable to answer, the clash of music beginning saved Rey from responding to the question and instead threw her into the thrill that was rock and roll. Kylo gripped the microphone, sashes tied around it swaying at the movement, and sang out sadly, “Every time when I look in the mirror, all these lines on my face getting clearer… the past is gone…” 

He dragged out the last word to a crescendo and the crowd went insane, Rey herself clapping her hands together in amazement as the music continued on. The music slowly built again and again with verses that had Rey thinking it was finally going to be the main part of the song, but Rose just shook her head with a knowing glint each time Rey thought the bass was finally going to drop.

After being edged for what felt like hours on the first song alone, Kylo finally gripped the mic and began to sing the chorus yet again, “Sing with me, sing for the year, sing for the laughter, sing for the tear. Sing with me, just for today, maybe tomorrow, the good Lord will take you away…” 

The song gradually swelled and Rose finally squealed as she slapped Rey’s arm enthusiastically and began to belt along with the lead rock singer, “Dream on, dream on, dream on, dream until your dreams come true!” 

Kylo sang the chorus one more time through and Rey seemed to catch on with the lyrics as she joined in softly, never tearing her eyes away from the man who slammed the back of his right foot into the stage with the beat while he tightly closed his eyes.

It wasn’t until he began to sing the line, “dream on,” a few more times did Rey feel the energy shift in the room as everyone began to lean in and hold their breaths, Rey included. And then, the octave changed dramatically to something Rey had never heard before in her entire life. “ _Dream on, dream on, dream on,_ ” Kylo fucking wailed into the mic, tilting it back before he let out the sharpest cry that sent the whole room into a fit of insanity. 

“Sing with me, sing for the year, sing for the laughter, sing for the tear. Sing with me, just for today, maybe tomorrow, the good Lord will take you away!” Rey cried as she jumped alongside Rose, wrapping her arms around her best friend with an absolute beaming smile of amazement at the singer in front of her. 

And so what if he stared at her for the rest of the song?

*****

“Please, Rey, please?” Rose begged, tugging at her friend’s arm as they began to file out of the crowded room. The concert had ended roughly five minutes ago with Kylo’s eyes on her yet again and Rey was blushing beyond belief, though she just blamed it on being hot from all of the bodies pressed together. “Alright, alright! We’re already out,” Rey agreed with a laugh, letting her best friend pull her outside and around the corner to where the band would exit to get into their tour bus.

A crowd had already formed in anticipation, but Rose somehow managed to squeeze them to the front yet again, even if they did get a few grumbles of protest this time. “Oh my God, do you think he’ll sign my tits?” Rose gasped when they reached the very front of the line where security was already holding them back. 

“Rose!” Rey scolded humorously, shaking her head at her friend as she watched her fish a black marker out of her skirt and uncap it readily. Rolling her eyes at how prepared her friend was for this night, Rey just shifted anxiously and eyed the giant tour bus parked to the right of them in the alleyway instead. 

Black, silver, and red, the thing looked just as intimidating as the band had been in person. But no matter how much she desperately wanted to see inside of it, she told herself that she was under no circumstance going on board if it meant a one night stand with a rock and roll singer. That wasn’t exactly her idea of losing her virginity, no matter how badly she wanted to lose it like Rose.

Her thoughts were drowned out by the sudden screaming and opening of the door in front of them, hands and papers and CD’s and markers extending around her as people desperately tried to get a signature from the band members. Of course, the shoving sent Rey tumbling forward and before the security guard or anyone could catch her, Rey was slamming against a rock solid body and protective arms.

“Shit-”

“I’m so sorry!” Rey cried at the same time a low and heavy voice swore. When she pulled away, doe eyed and panicked, her heart nearly stopped beating at the sight of the fucking lead singer holding her tightly and staring back down at her breathlessly. He smelled of whiskey and cigarettes, a combination Rey didn’t know until that exact moment she liked so much.

But the hands of security were reaching for her and pulling her back into the crowd before she could say anything else and Rey was tripping over her heels until Rose managed to catch her and balance her out. Of course, Kylo’s eyes never left hers and he was walking over then, snatching markers and signing blindly as he stared her down like a wild animal tracking its prey. “You got a name, sweetheart?” he asked through a gravelly voice while scribbling his signature onto posters and albums. 

“R-Rey,” she stuttered out, watching in slow motion as he grabbed the marker Rose was handing to him. “Can you sign my tits, oh my God!” Rose all but bawled, tugging her shirt down to reveal her pushed up breasts. Kylo just grinned and cocked an eyebrow at Rey before doing as she asked, adding two x’s to the end of his signature. 

“I like your friend. Rey… that’s a pretty name,” he complimented, turning his attention to her own chest then only to see the silver cross resting between what Rey considered poor excuses for tits. Wordlessly, Kylo reached out and took the necklace between his thumb and forefinger with a curious eye. “Odd thing to wear to a rock concert, sweetheart,” he said pointedly.

“It’s her first one! I dragged her out here,” Rose chipped in proudly from beside them, wrapping her hands around Rey’s arm to tug her close. “First one? How’d you like it?” Kylo continued, turning his attention to the other people still desperately trying to get him to sign things. “Loved it,” Rey breathed out, blinking rapidly at the fact she was having a fucking conversation with a goddamn rock god.

He hummed in appreciation and finally pulled away from the rest of the crowd before reaching around his neck to tug off a long silver chain with two dog tags on the end of it. “Take care of this for me, will you, sweetheart?” Kylo asked with a mischievous eye as he reached out and gently hung the thing around her neck. 

She nodded with wide eyes and nervously lifted her hand to cover the tags, brushing against Kylo’s hand as he withdrew his grasp. “Well, Rey and I need to get back to Chandrila Catholic School before the nuns know we snuck out. Are you staying in town by any chance?” Rose asked, sliding her hand down to grab Rey’s and give it a firm squeeze.

“For a few days… Chandrila Catholic School you said?” Kylo asked, tilting his head to the side with a small grin before Rose was shouting goodbye and pulling Rey away from the man still staring at her. “Please tell me you didn’t just tell the lead singer of a fucking rock band where we live!” Rey cried as she ran behind Rose, their hands still clasped together. Rose just threw back a wink as the sound of dog tags and heels on pavement filled the air. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what y'all think so far! xx  
> [Rey's Outfit](https://i.postimg.cc/FHwYHVwN/SIX-8-F5-CAE66-FD9-A-45-D3-B138-13-D5-D1-E6487-C.jpg)  
> 


	2. Wanted Dead or Alive

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy! xx

Rey stared at the dog tags held up between her fingers and nervously nibbled on her bottom lip. Rose had fallen asleep a while ago, both of their outfits a mess on the floor by their beds. And while her best friend had begged to see what was engraved in the metal, Rey had just laughed and told her to go to bed. Her hazel eyes wandered over the words etched into the first tag, a phone number, before drifting to the second tag that really had her insides fluttering.

_Kylo’s Girl._

Trying to bite back a grin, Rey just clenched her fist around the necklace and rolled over onto her side to face the wall. It was likely a million other girls had gotten the same necklace and thought they were special like she currently did and while she tried to calm herself down by convincing her brain he was only interested to have sex with her, her heart thundered painfully in her chest. 

With a sigh, Rey forced her eyes closed and let her mind slip back into memories of the night as her ears rang with music and the sound of a deep voice.

*****

Packing had taken more time than Rey had originally imagined. 

She only owned enough clothes to fit in a small closet and she wasn’t fond of makeup, so there wasn’t anything from the vanity to put in a suitcase, but she still found herself behind schedule when it came to getting everything prepared for the move. “You’ll let me visit you on the weekends, won’t you?” Rose asked from her bed, bubble gum smacking around her mouth after she blew giant bubbles.

“Obviously. You won’t have to sneak out that way, then,” Rey teased, folding a form fitting sweater before pressing it into the stack of other neatly organized items in her suitcase. “I bet you’re glad I made you come out with me last night, huh?” Rose questioned slyly, rolling over onto her stomach to set down the magazine she was reading in order to pay attention to her friend.

The blush that covered Rey’s face gave away just how pleased she was with Rose for convincing her to go out, and without really meaning to, Rey lifted her hand to touch the dog tags still situated around her neck. “Do you think he’ll come see you?” Rose pestered excitedly, flipping a few pages until she landed on a picture of Kylo’s face up close next to a microphone.

Rey just waved her off with a giggle and shook her head, “I’m sure he’s got other things to do than visit a girl in a Catholic school, Rose.” 

As if on cue, a light knock came to their bedroom door and Rose shoved the magazine under her pillow as fast as lightning before Rey called that they could come in. Sister Maz’s wrinkled yet kind face peered around the corner and landed on Rey with a warm smile.

“Good morning girls. I hope your Saturday is going well so far. Um… Rey, you have a, uh, visitor downstairs,” Maz said slowly, tripping over the sentence as her face curled up in confusion and distaste. The two girls locked eyes instantly while the blood seemed to drain from Rey’s cheeks and before Sister Maz knew what was happening, Rose and Rey were running down the corridor to where the double staircase leading to the entryway was. 

Other girls were moving around the boarding school, each one busy with something else, but they managed to get out of the way before Rey or Rose could shove them and disrupt whatever plan they were in the middle of. Before they could reach the balcony to look over the stairs, Rey snatched Rose’s arm and tugged her best friend back to look at her. “How do I look?” Rey questioned breathlessly.

Sunflower yellow block heels, high waisted bootcut jeans, and a white t-shirt with yellow trim around the arms and neck, Rey looked like your everyday girl you’d see walking down the street. Of course, however, Rose lurched forward and grabbed the shirt to tie it up in a small knot just above her belly button to show some skin.

“Better,” Rose confirmed, stepping away to finally let Rey walk towards the banister and glance over just to make sure it was the rockstar from last night. Sure enough, clad in black jeans and a matching dark denim jacket, the rock god himself was leaning against the wall closest to the front door with a wide brimmed black hat resting on top of those wild locks of hair Rey was growing to admire.

The same multicolored scarves from last night were tied around his right belt loop and the shirt he wore was a tucked in band tee displaying the name _DEF LEPPARD_ in faded red lettering across his chest. His charcoal colored boots were scuffed and his arms were crossed over his broad chest, but by God did he look like a fucking model standing in a place of holiness. 

Seeming to feel eyes on him, Kylo tilted his head back and locked eyes with Rey who was peering over the banister in disbelief. A slow grin eased over those full lips of his and Rey was weak in the knees at the sight, finally taking a step forward to descend down the stairs as he pushed away from the wall and shoved his hands into the front of his dark jean jacket. 

“I didn’t think you were actually going to come,” Rey said hesitantly as she pushed her hands into the backs of her jeans and slowly approached him when she reached the bottom. Kylo just cocked his head to the side and reached out to brush the backs of his fingers against the dog tags still around her neck, an amused glint flashing over his eyes. “Yeah, I didn’t think I was going to either but… woke up this morning with hazel eyes on my mind.” 

She bit back a smile as he dropped his hand and turned his attention to the school steadily starting to turn their attention to the out of place man in the foyer. “You got anything going on today?” Kylo asked, setting his gaze on her yet again only to rake his eyes from the bottom of her jeans to the choppy cut bangs framing her face. “Uh, n-no I don’t,” Rey stuttered dumbly.

“Great because you’re in need of some fucking music,” he chuckled, suddenly slinging his denim clad arm around her shoulders to pull her against him and walk out of the front door. Even in heels, Rey was still shorter than the man and her heart was going out of control in her chest as he cooly walked alongside her down the sidewalk. Removing her hands from her back pockets, Rey nervously slid her left arm under his jacket to wrap around his waist, but Kylo just grinned at the action.

“Remind me to thank that friend of yours for bringing you out last night,” Kylo commented as they headed in the direction of Hollywood Boulevard, his head low so the hat would cover most of his face from curious strangers. “I think I should technically be the one thanking Rose. She’s been in love with you for quite a while now and I mostly just gave in to shut her up,” Rey admitted with a soft blush on her cheeks.

Kylo laughed at that and licked his lips, only lifting his eyes from the sidewalk to stare at her profile. Even with no makeup on and hair that was very obviously growing out bangs, Kylo was still convinced this was the most gorgeous woman he’d ever seen in his life. Tall, lean, tan, and freckled, she was like a walking dream and Kylo hadn’t been able to get her out of his head since the moment he saw her.

She was like a ray of sunshine in the very front of that goddamn concert. While everyone else was dressed in raunchy, dark colors, she stood out in floral print with a smile that could blind him in a way the spotlight never could. And that fucking cross around her neck-- _fuck_ , that cross around her neck. 

Rey was like one giant temptation, so sweet and innocent in the middle of a crowd filled with sinners and scandals. The way that golden cross slipped right between two perfectly round swells of skin did something horrible to Kylo’s insides and there was nothing he wanted more than to tug on that goddamn thin chain as he fucked her swift and hard from behind. That had kept him up for hours last night, the thought of her naked below him.

Would she sound as pure as she looked with soft whimpers and breathless cries? Or would she be a surprise with sharp nails down his back and loud moans? Either way, Kylo was desperate to figure out just who this woman was. And for the first time in his life, even if he did think about it, Kylo wasn’t just focused on the sex when it came to the mystery woman in the crowd.

He genuinely wanted to get to know this beautiful creature walking among men.

Phasma and Hux would probably have a field day if they figured out he was ditching rehearsal to walk around with a girl he’d met at a concert just to get a glimpse into her life, but he’d already thought up an excuse for later when they pestered him about where he’d been. Right now, he was focused on the girl with her arm slung around him and a wide smile on those perfect lips of hers.

God, and her accent. He’d always been a sucker for British accents, as it seemed all Americans were, but when she opened her mouth and gave him her sweet and simple name in that heavenly intonation, Kylo was fucking whipped. 

As much as Kylo had been dreading performing at The Bourbon Room for extremely obvious reasons he’d gone to great measures to avoid last night, he found himself glad more than anything that he’d actually gone through with it. Because now he was on his way to browse records with the prettiest girl in the world who’d be a free woman within the next week, apparently. 

“Alright, you gotta tell me before we go in,” Kylo began, turning around to stop her with a grin outside of a random record store. She blinked a few times and cocked her head to the side in an adorable way as she waited for him to continue. “What kind of music do you listen to if not rock n’ roll?” 

She laughed then and shoved him lightly before going into the shop, shooting him a look of humored exasperation. “I listen to rock! _Sometimes…_ ” Her voice trailed off in a way that suggested she’d really only listened to a few tracks due to the fact Rose was obsessed with the music category. God, the amount of times she’d had to listen to Bon Jovi was enough to make her want to rip her hair out.

That being said though, it did give her something to practice…

They walked together down the first aisle of stacked alphabetized albums, both of them flipping through the plastic covered records with grins on their faces. “Name _one_ artist you listen to that’s rock,” Kylo urged, tugging out a dark album with purple and grey lettering labeled _BLACK SABBATH, MASTER OF REALITY_ to hold up and show to her. She giggled and slapped the album away as her own fingers worked to tug out _THE BEATLES, ABBEY ROAD_ close by.

“Oh fuck, I’m interested in a hippie, aren’t I?” Kylo teased, dramatically running his hands down his face as he shook it at the same time. “The Beatles are rock!” Rey protested with a wide grin, pushing the album into his arms so he had to look at it while she walked away with the most endearing sounds of happiness Kylo had ever heard. 

As much as he hated to admit it, The Beatles were indeed within the rock genre. Granted, rock from the 60s, but rock all the same. He guessed he should have known that Rey was more on the ‘love, not war’ side of things from the vibrant street style she adopted and the way she stood out almost immediately in the crowd of die hard rock fans. But the evidence of bangs and groovy colors only pulled Kylo in more than he wanted to acknowledge. 

“Does your interest change now that you know I love The Beatles and…” Rey paused for dramatic effect, another album hidden behind her back before she whipped it around to show off the bright yellow cover of _ELTON JOHN, GOODBYE YELLOW BRICK ROAD._ “Elton John?” she finally finished, holding back a smile with glossy white teeth that sunk into her soft pink bottom lip.

Fuck, Kylo was staring. 

“Okay, okay, I get it. Shit… I need to introduce you to some _real_ rock,” Kylo grumbled, snatching the album from her as well to tuck under his arm before he took her hand in his and lead her in the direction of another aisle that had more of what he was talking about. Rey, however, was blushing at the fact her palm fit perfectly within his. 

Large and warm, it completely engulfed hers and Rey was mesmerized by the way it seemed to swallow hers whole. She was well aware by this point that Kylo was one of the biggest men she’d ever seen and while that did something funny to her insides, Rey chose to ignore it instead of think about it like she really, really wanted to. 

He finally stopped them in front of the letter K and before Rey could give him a pointed look that said she knew what he was doing, Kylo was flipping through the records and pulling out a bright red one with a triumphant grin. “Take a look at that,” he said proudly, setting her albums to the side as he moved behind her to look over her shoulder at the album.

 _KNIGHTS OF REN, ACROSS THE STARS_ was in big white letters within a circle, wings on either side in that groovy sort of style that would have belonged to the 60s. His hands slowly made their way around Rey’s waist until they had completely circled around her and brought her flush against him, and as much as Rey was actually trying to focus on reading the song list on the back of the cover, she was more focused on how perfect it felt to be against him.

He smelled of whiskey and cigarettes, same as the night before, and a calming feeling washed over Rey when he took off the hat on his messy black curls and set it down on top of hers while she tried to read. “Hmm… I don’t know, I’ve never heard of this one,” she admitted teasingly, turning around in his arms as he backed her up against the aisle, his hands now on her hips.

He was so close to her face all of a sudden, all sharp edges and full lips and intense gaze just inches away. Rey knew she probably looked like a fish out of water with her eyes widen open and lips parted as anything she was about to add on left her head. Kylo just grinned and reached up to cup the side of her face as Rey clutched the album between them, his eyes drifting over her features with an expression of adoration.

“I think we should change that,” he murmured before taking a step back with a grin, moving beside her to pull out two more of his albums while Rey tried to catch her breath and steady her pounding heart. _Asshole,_ she hissed internally even though she couldn’t really be mad at him for teasing. Rey took the albums from him with a playful warning look that really didn’t have any anger behind it and started to look through some other albums until she caught sight of that goddamn Bon Jovi album Rose had played so many times.

“Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me,” she groaned, snatching the God forsaken _SLIPPERY WHEN WET_ album from its resting place. Kylo frowned at her outburst before he sauntered over and looked at what she was holding up. “Bon Jovi? You know fucking _Bon Jovi_?” he asked through a laugh, gently taking it from her hand as she dramatically threw her head back and gave a frustrated whine. 

“If I had a dollar for every time I heard Wanted Dead or Alive, I think I’d be a millionaire, Kylo,” she sighed, “I even learned how to play it on the church acoustic guitar, that’s how much I heard it from Rose.” 

Kylo suddenly flicked his eyes up to her and lowered the album until it hung limply by his side. “You know how to play Wanted Dead or Alive on the guitar?” he asked dumbly. She shot him a confused look until she caught a mischievous glint in his eye and before she could stop him from what he was about to say, Kylo was heading straight for the wall of the store that hung up all of the electric guitars.

“No, no! I’m not playing for you!” Rey protested as she desperately tried to rush over in her heels with the albums still held tightly against her chest. But Kylo wasn’t listening as he fished a bright red electric guitar from the wall and held it out to her with one raised eyebrow. “I’m not playing, Kylo! I haven’t played that song in a long time, it’s probably horrible anyway,” she tried.

It was obvious he wasn’t having it as he extended his hand to grab the albums out from her arms and shove the guitar into her now empty hands instead. He said nothing as she glared at him but snatched it anyway, tugging the shoulder strap over her body while she grumbled and looked at the thick strings. 

Okay, so maybe she did remember the chords to play perfectly and maybe she knew he was really wanting to hear the complex guitar solo about halfway into the song, but she just bit her lip nervously and tried as quietly as possible to play the intro to the song.

Kylo said nothing as he leaned against the wall with his arms crossed and listened. A few other people in the store shot them wary glances, but no one seemed to realize a literal rock god was in the fucking store due to the fact Rey was blocking him from view. She continued to shyly play the tune, her cheeks crimson from embarrassment and the fact these strings were much heavier than the guitar back at the church, but she finally cut it off right before the solo he was obviously waiting for.

_Call it payback for leaving her high and dry in the aisle._

Rey tugged the guitar off of her shoulder and handed it back to him with pursed lips, her eyes stuck to the floor because she really didn’t want to see his reaction to her poor playing of a popular song. 

“We have a concert tonight in LA and I want you to come,” Kylo stated bluntly after setting the guitar back in its place and handing the albums back to her. Rey’s head shot up in shock and she stared at his face that was now filled with intrigue. He tilted it to the side and narrowed his eyes a little as if he was inspecting her reaction carefully and Rey couldn’t help but shift on her feet nervously.

“Y-you mean like… like go with you? To the concert?” she questioned hesitantly. He nodded and pushed off of the wall, wrapping an arm around her slim waist once more to guide her back down the aisle they’d come from. “Yeah, I want you to come with me. I want you backstage tonight.” 

Stopping in her tracks to stare at him, it was Kylo’s turn to look surprised as he turned around and waited for her to say something. “Can I… can I ask you something?” Rey asked gently while she stroked the five albums currently taking up space in her arms. “Ask me anything,” Kylo shot back. Averting her gaze from his chocolate eyes to the wall filled with posters beside them, Rey contemplated actually asking the questioning burning in her head before she blurted out, “Why me?” 

Kylo seemed caught off guard by the inquiry and when he furrowed his eyebrows, obviously confused by what she meant, Rey shook her head and clarified intently, “Why _me_? Why the girl who’s never been to a rock concert who wears a cross and honestly never saw your face until last night? Don’t you, I don’t know, have other girls who would practically kill for the opportunity to be in your presence as opposed to someone who doesn’t even know how to act around you?” 

The soft grin that spread over his full lips that Rey so desperately wanted to kiss settled her churning insides rather than upset them even more. Kylo took a step forward, putting them inches away for the second time that day, and reached out to touch the dog tags around her neck once more before he lifted that giant hand of his and pushed down his hat still resting on her head.

All the while, Rey gaped up at him like she was meeting the most influential person in her life. “Maybe I’m tired of girls who’ve seen my face and would kill to be around me. Maybe I like girls who don’t know how to act around me and have a lot to learn about rock,” he murmured, abruptly reaching back down to fist the dog tags and tug her forward roughly so her lips pushed against his urgently. 

Caught off guard by the intensity of the action, Rey dropped all of the albums at their feet and clutched the front of his denim jacket as he wrapped one hand around her back and bent her towards him so he physically bowed over her to deepen the kiss. 

His lips were soft and greedy and hot and explosive all at once against her and Rey actually whimpered when he licked her bottom lip and slipped his tongue into her mouth. _Fucking Christ_ , he tasted like alcohol and nicotine and Rey was desperate for more as she moved her mouth selfishly against his, tasting as much of him as she possibly could before they had to pull away for breath.

When they finally did, her cheeks were pink and a thin trail of spit connected their bottom lips while Kylo grinned and murmured, “Yeah, I’m definitely into girls who wear a cross around their neck… because _you…_ ” he lifted the hand still strangling the dog tags to brush the pad of his thumb over her swollen bottom lip, “ _you_ are pure fucking sin, Rey.” 

The soft sound of need that spilled from her lips was embarrassing beyond belief but he just groaned at the mewl and pulled her in again for another deep kiss that definitely had other people in the store grumbling. Rey felt drunk on the taste of him and one hand let go of his jacket to slip into the back of his wild hair and finally touch the locks that felt just as soft as they looked.

They finally parted when someone coughed loudly beside them from the aisle over and with a smug grin, Kylo stepped away to pick up the albums she’d dropped before heading in the direction of the cash register. Stupefied and a little numb, Rey followed on wobbly legs behind him and watched as he tugged sunglasses out of his jean jacket before approaching the high school kid behind the counter.

“You a Knights of Ren fan?” the kid asked sarcastically as Kylo slid the five albums toward him. He chuckled a little while he grabbed for his wallet and murmured gruffly, “Something like that.” Rey had to stifle her own giggle as she leaned against his side, already getting used to the way his arm wrapped around her waist.

The interaction between her rockstar and the kid who looked too bored to be alive only lasted a few moments before Kylo was handing her the bag filled with her new albums while leading them towards the exit at the same time. “You never gave me your answer,” Kylo stated when they stepped outside to face the bustling Boulevard. 

Rey gave him a questionable look and he yanked off the sunglasses on his face to give her an over the top look of disbelief. “You comin’ to the concert with me or not?” She burned bright pink as his earlier inquiry came racing back to her mind. But with a bite to her bottom lip and a flutter of her eyelashes, Rey nodded, “Yeah, I’ll come with you. But _you_ have to pick me up.”

And with that, Rey snatched the glasses out of his hands to put on her own face with a cocky grin before walking past him in the direction of the boarding school. She just barely heard him huff out under his breath, “Jesus fucking Christ.” 

*****

Rose stared at her best friend in complete and utter shock.

Her jaw had dropped to the floor when Rey walked out of the bathroom in a white tie up shirt that showed more cleavage than the other one and light wash shorts that were also cutting it fairly close to her ass. The white ankle high socks and black heels on her feet lengthened what seemed like miles of tan legs and the dog tags Kylo had given her the night before rested beautifully on her bare chest.

Black barrettes held her growing bangs out of her face and true to her usual style, Rey was all natural makeup wise. She looked stunning and Rose had never seen her best friend so happy before, and so dolled up. “Do you think it’s okay?” Rey asked nervously, offering her best friend a shy smile as she fiddled with the knot below her breasts like she had the night before.

“I think he’s going to lose his shit when he sees you,” Rose stated bluntly as she soaked in her friend’s appearance. Rey blushed at the statement and fiddled with the dog tags before glancing at their bedroom door. “Oh! Right! You need help getting out,” Rose gushed, jumping up from the bed only to grab Rey’s hand and lead her through the empty hallways that had been abandoned an hour ago.

Kylo had told her to be ready at nine and she’d nodded breathlessly, only growing more and more anxious as the hours ticked by until nine was just five minutes away. “Please tell me everything and have so much fun tonight,” Rose begged when they finally reached the front door of the boarding school. Rey lurched forward and hugged her best friend tightly to convey just how much she appreciated her, then let go to dart out the door with a grin.

Deciding to take a seat on the very bottom step, Rey nervously watched the road as a few cars drove past and began to jog her leg up and down out of habit as she waited for the rocker to show up. Just when she was starting to get worried he actually wasn’t coming, the sound of a rumbling engine turning the corner had her perking up almost immediately. 

Instead of a car rounding the corner, however, a man on a motorcycle gradually approached until he stopped in front of the boarding school and tugged the helmet off to reveal the stunned expression of Kylo. “Fucking _hell_ , Rey…” was all he managed to get out before she was jogging to the bike and swinging herself on the back of it. 

“You gonna take me to this concert or stare at me all night?” she asked with a smirk while tugging down the helmet he offered her as the other arm wrapped around his leather clad waist. _Hmm, he looked good in a leather jacket_ , she thought dully. “I’m gonna take you to this concert, but I’m gonna do a lot more than stare at you afterwards,” Kylo growled out, suddenly slamming his foot down on the gear shift before taking off in the direction of the show.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope y'all liked it! As always, be kind in the comments xx  
> [Rey's Outfit](https://i.postimg.cc/W1xxYdq5/SIX-E97-DA5-A5-5284-4-F87-A317-00-A69-E18-C340.jpg)  
> 


	3. Walk This Way

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy! xx 
> 
> A/N: Slight smut in this chapter :)
> 
> Fan art at the beginning of the chapter was created by Tarzelladraws on Twitter! She's so amazing and whipped up this lil drawing of Rey from later on in this chapter :) Please go check out [her Twitter!](https://twitter.com/tarzelladraws)  
> 

It was a rush from pulling into the underground parking lot to getting a VIP pass slipped around her neck to standing on the side of the stage while the crowd screamed bloody murder for the band to come on stage. Rey was shaking one hand after the other as she gripped Kylo’s for guidance while he led them through the hallways backstage before finally stopping beside the stage itself. 

Three people were standing around with their arms crossed and faces pissed, but when they finally caught sight of Kylo and the beaming girl on his arm, their expressions changed instead to that of shock. Rey was out of breath and giggling when they came to a halt in front of the group that had been waiting for Kylo to actually show up so they could put on the fucking concert.

“Rey, I want you to meet Phasma, Hux, and Mitaka,” Kylo introduced as he tugged her close to his side and watched her extend her hand eagerly to the bandmates. “You were amazing last night, it’s so nice to meet you,” Rey greeted enthusiastically. The band members took her hand and shook it, each of them offering her a smile while tossing a confused glance to Kylo as well.

_He’d never brought a girl backstage before._

Believe it or not, Kylo strictly kept women to dressing room hookups and after show flings, but he never gave a girl a VIP pass until tonight. They were so used to watching him piss off after the show and grab the first girl to offer her tits only to bring her to his dressing room for a good fifteen minutes. Then they just observed the poor thing limp away with a dazed expression while pulling her bra strap up.

The girl in front of them now was beautiful and very obviously young. With long brown hair, sparkling hazel eyes, and clothes meant more for a summer walk on the beach than a rock n’ roll concert, the band members were stunned. “Uh, Rey came to our concert last night, it was her first rock show. Hope you don’t mind I brought her along for this one. Speaking of, Phas? Can I talk to you real quick?” Kylo asked quickly, gently letting go of Rey to walk away with the guitarist.

“First rock concert? How’d you like it?” Hux asked as a stage crew member suddenly came over and began to hand earplugs to everyone. “Oh, it was amazing. Kylo was kind enough to buy me all of your records today too, so I’ll be listening even when you aren’t around,” Rey said kindly. 

She stuffed her ears with the black earplugs and everything deafened a small amount so she could still hear the two men in front of her raising an eyebrow at what she’d just said. “Kylo was out with you today?” Mitaka chimed in. He ran a hand through his short brown hair and Rey took a minute to really look at the two people in front of her.

Decked out in latex pants and a deep v-neck bodysuit colored a dark purple shade, Mitaka seemed the coolest out of the men standing just feet away. His shoes were ratty boots with silver signatures scribbled on them from fans and a black choker sat on the base of his throat. Unlike Kylo, his hair was shorter but the dark charcoal eyeliner around his eyes seemed to draw attention away from that fact. 

Hux on the other hand wore a rolled up t-shirt displaying their band’s name and distressed black jeans, thick bracelets wrapping around his wrists. His skin was pale in contrast with the burning ginger hair on top of his head and the only pop of color the man wore were the red sneakers on his feet that looked like they’d seen better days.

They definitely looked like they belonged in a rock band and Rey became self conscious of her outfit yet again, even though Kylo had told her a million times earlier that day that he actually adored her style. So she swallowed the bile that rose in her throat and shoved her hands into the back of her jean shorts as she nodded. “Yeah, he took me to a record store? It was really nice,” she admitted with a faint heat to her cheeks.

Hux and Mitaka shared a pleased look until Hux broke eye contact and took a step towards Rey with a genuinely curious expression. “Can I be honest with you Rey?” he asked softly, shooting a nervous glance in the direction Kylo and Phasma had gone. She nodded and crossed her arms over her chest, suddenly feeling severely out of place around the rock members. “Kylo doesn’t really… _do_ things with girls. You’re the first one he’s brought back stage and, I mean, you’re wearing his tags. 

“I don’t know if he’s told you or not but we have two more weeks on the road and then the tour is over. We’ll be back in LA recording for our fourth album during the summer and if you live around here…” Hux trailed off but left the sentence open for suggestion. Rey just blinked at him with parted lips, obviously shocked at what she’d just been told, but she nodded anyway with acknowledgment and Hux gave a curt nod of his head back. 

At the same time he stepped away, Kylo and Phasma walked back over and the rockstar tugged Rey to the side with a mischievous grin that had Rey narrowing her eyes at him in suspicion. “Why are you looking at me like that?” she asked slyly, trying to see what he was plotting by searching those rich, chocolate eyes of his. “Sorry, you just look absolutely gorgeous tonight,” Kylo covered as he reached out to fist her dog tags and pull her against his lips for the third time that day. 

She moaned softly against his lips and fisted his hair a little more intensely this time as she bowed herself into him and felt those giant hands of his grab the belt loops of her shorts. It helped that she had her heels on because he didn’t have to bend so low, but the yelp that came out of her mouth when he yanked her up out of the blue made him laugh while Rey wrapped her legs around his torso.

“For a girl who wears a cross, you really aren’t that innocent, are you?” Kylo asked breathlessly, his eyes dark with lust now as his hands sunk lower to cup her ass while he supported her weight. “Let’s just say I’ve been good for too long,” Rey whispered back before pushing her mouth against his once more. 

Her fingers tugged and twirled in the tousled inky locks, arching his head back so she could slide her eager tongue into his full mouth and taste the familiar whiskey and cigarette flavor that was Kylo Ren. “You’re gonna fucking kill me, Rey,” Kylo growled against her mouth as he stumbled backwards to lean against the wall while she continued to ravish his lips.

Her cunt throbbed against the tight denim covering her lower body and she was proud of herself for going without a bra tonight because she just knew he could feel her pert nipples through the thin fabric of her shirt. But before Kylo could even get a look at her breasts, Hux was coughing beside them and pointing to the stage.

Out of breath and flushed, Kylo carefully set Rey back down on her feet and straightened out his frayed leather jacket while also running a hand through his now disheveled hair. “You’ll be here the whole show, yeah?” he asked intently, his dark eyes never leaving her blushing face as Rey stumbled a little behind him towards the stage. “I’m not going anywhere,” she told him softly, extending her hand to grab his and squeeze it once.

Kylo grinned at her, then turned his attention to the stage where the lights went out and the crowd waiting for him to perform turned absolutely insane at the promise of the show about to begin. With a short pep talk to each other, Rey watched as the three band members walked out first to their respective spots while Kylo rolled his neck from side to side and flexed his hands. 

With a deep breath, he pushed out from behind the side of the stage and strode through the dark to where the microphone stand was set up and turned to look over his shoulder at the other three, slapping his hand against his hip the same way he had the previous night before all of the lights turned on again and the deafening roar of the arena was only topped by the sound of rock music starting up. 

*****

“Walk this way, walk this way! Just give me a kiss, like this…” Kylo finished up the song with a display of punching the microphone out in front of him, the scarves attached to the stand waving wildly at the movement while the mass of people went crazy for it. 

He wiped some sweat off of his face with a giant grin and stepped away from the mic to pull out a cigarette from his back pocket and light it expertly. Rey bit her lip at the action, honestly turned on by the way it rested on his bottom lip so casually while he shoved everything back into his jeans and talked to the members preparing for the next song. Kylo took a long drag from the smoke before turning back to the mic with a humored smile. 

“Alright, listen up!” he hollered into the mic as he snatched it off the stand and pulled the cigarette away from his lips. The crowd cheered, waiting for him to continue as Kylo pushed the same hand carefully cradling the cigarette between his middle and index finger through his significantly wetter hair. “We’re gonna do something a little different tonight, so fuck off if you don’t like it,” he finished, the arena going into an uproar in delight for the attitude.

Kylo looked over his shoulder at Phasma and Rey watched with a suddenly rapidly beating heart as she pulled off the electric guitar on her shoulders and began to walk towards Rey with her eyes set dead on her. Realizing just exactly what was going on, Rey started to back up with wide eyes as she shook her hands and repeated, “No, no _,_ no!”

But Phasma was just grinning and putting the guitar on her as Rey barely registered Kylo saying into the mic, “We’re gonna do a cover of Wanted Dead or Alive tonight and we have a very special guest playing the guitar for us. Now, I want everyone to give a very warm welcome to Rey Niima, someone I had the pleasure of meeting at our concert last night!”

Before Rey could protest, Phasma was pushing her out onto the stage and the screams that filled her ears were enough to leave her deaf for the rest of her life. Like a doe caught in the headlights, Rey gaped at the sea of hands and faces all shrieking like their life depended on it. Kylo was beside her in the next instant, his hand resting on the small of her back as he guided her next to where he stood on stage.

She swallowed thickly and stared at him in mortification, but the pride on his face as he beamed at her seemed to settle some of the nerves before he winked and turned back to the mic. “Rey here is gonna play guitar for us tonight, give her a fuckin’ hand everyone!” he cheered, lifting the hand still holding the burning cigarette into the air. Once more, Rey flinched at the sound that came ringing back to her and when Kylo looked at her with a small nod before glancing at the others towards the back of the stage, she realized they were going to play. 

The drums started first with the intro and Rey nervously bit her bottom lip as she waited for the guitar entry. Kylo just stared at her with encouragement while he tapped the heel of his boot against the stage. With a deep breath, Rey made the first strum of the guitar when her time to shine finally came and the crowd went crazy at her introduction, Kylo giving her a full toothed crooked smile as she eased into it and continued to repeat the chords.

“It's all the same, only the names will change… Everyday, it seems we're wasting away…” Kylo belted into the microphone when it was his turn to join in. Seeming to go numb and rely on memorization and instincts alone, Rey played along perfectly as she shifted on her feet and turned her attention down on the guitar instead of the mass of thousands listening to her perform.

The music continued on with the same chords she was used to, every second getting closer and closer to the guitar solo she was going to be playing. Rey couldn’t believe her hands weren’t sweating as Kylo sang the final verse before the solo, “I'm a cowboy, on a steel horse I ride! I'm wanted dead or alive, wanted dead or alive…”

The second he pulled away from the mic and took a few steps back to give her the spotlight, everything else around Rey seemed to fade away as she concentrated on the strings, her eyebrows furrowing together while the complicated chords flowed perfectly from her fingers to go along with the song. She couldn’t hear the screaming from the crowd, couldn’t see the look of utter pride on Kylo’s face, couldn’t feel the nerves brewing in her stomach, and definitely couldn’t taste the blood oozing into her mouth from how hard she was biting her bottom lip.

By the time Rey came back to the world moving around her, the song was over and thousands of mouths were cheering as Kylo joined in the claps that also echoed in the area. Coming to the understanding she’d finished the entire song without mistake, Rey quickly removed the guitar and gave a nervous bow while her cheeks burned bright pink before jogging off stage to hand it back to Phasma.

“Holy _shit_ , that was amazing!” Phasma congratulated instantly, but Rey was running past her in the next second, her stomach churning miserably. Rey had only thrown up a few times in her life and while those times may have been more from childhood as opposed to recent years, she definitely knew the signs that she was about to vomit. 

Slapping a hand over her mouth and rushing out into the hallway backstage, Rey barely made it to the women’s bathroom across from the stage entry door and spilled the contents of her stomach into the first open stall. She coughed a few times to get everything out and then sat there on her knees in disbelief for a long time, trying to catch her breath and make sense of what had just happened.

She, Rey Niima, orphan since five and pure daughter of Chandrila Catholic school, had just performed in front of thousands of people. A giggle of bewilderment escaped her mouth when she thought about it and before she could stop herself, she was biting back a grin that had begun to unfold over her face.

Leave it to Rose to help her meet a rockstar that seemed genuinely interested in her and pushed her to do a live performance on their tour. Collapsing her face into her hands after flushing the toilet, Rey laughed to herself for a while before deciding it was probably time to go back to the stage and watch the rest of the show. Getting up on shaky legs and brushing the tips of her fingers over the smile still evident, Rey slowly made her way back to the stage entry door.

*****

The concert itself ended about twenty minutes later and Rey watched the crowd lose their minds with the final song, Dream On, when Kylo hit the piercing cry that had Rey hooked the instant she’d heard it too. Her smile was still on her face by the time Kylo said goodnight and the lights shut off yet again to let the band off the stage without pestering from the arena.

Rey was caught off guard seconds later when Kylo suddenly scooped her up in his arms and spun her around with a shout of excitement. “You did _so_ fucking good, Rey!” he cried happily, finally setting her back down on her feet as she squealed with delight and giggled. “I was so nervous, Kylo, oh my God…” she whimpered, covering her blushing face with her hands to hide the embarrassment that was painfully evident. 

Her rockstar just grabbed her wrists and tugged them down to push his lips against hers so as to convey his pride in seeing her perform so well beside him on stage. When he pulled away, his gaze filled with adoration, all Rey managed to get out was, “Can we get out of here?” It was his turn to look a little stunned as he nodded breathlessly only to be followed by another yelp of surprise from Rey when he suddenly lifted her bridal style and headed towards the exit. 

It didn’t matter that people were trying to get his attention as he ran down the hall with Rey giggling hysterically in his arms, Kylo was solely focused on getting her back to his apartment in downtown LA. He dodged extended hands and ignored the shouts of his name, his feet thundering on the pavement while Rey shouted in pure glee and tightened her grasp around his neck.

When he finally reached the underground parking lot where his motorcycle was, he all but dropped Rey on the back before starting the bike, the helmet left on the ground as he turned the thing with a giant skid mark on the ground. Rey grabbed his waist as tight as possible and held on for dear life while Kylo kicked the gear shift and sped ungodly fast out of the lot, security having to jump out of the way at the exit.

The crowd that had gathered outside to try and catch a glimpse of him went wild at the sight of Rey on the back of his bike and Rey was temporarily blinded by the amount of camera flashes that rattled off when they drove past. She knew she probably should be a little more worried about the fact so many people had her picture with Kylo now, but she found she actually couldn’t care less because they were already past the mass of people.

The streets were surprisingly empty by the time they pulled onto the main stretch of road and Rey mentally reminded herself that it was nearly one in the morning after all and anyone who was out was probably at the concert. Before she could think about it too much, though, one of Kylo’s rough hands was letting go of the handle to reach back and gently wrap around her calf.

It was a possessive action and Rey nearly melted against his back at the feeling of his warm grasp on her. So for the rest of the drive, Rey just rested the side of her cheek against his back and watched the lights flash by from the illuminated stores and traffic lights. A few people were walking on the sidewalks-- girls in clothes that showed too much, homeless people settling down for the night, men drunkenly stumbling against the walls… 

At some point, she closed her eyes and just savored the feeling of the cool night breeze rushing through her long hair and the feeling of heated leather against her face. For the first time in what felt like forever, Rey felt… _alive_. She felt happy, like she was exactly where she was supposed to be, and the hand that cradled her leg only reassured her. 

They only drove for a few more minutes until Kylo was slowing the bike and pulling into another underground parking lot below a skyscraper-like building that apparently were apartments. All glass on the outside and reflecting the lights of the city, it looked like a beacon amidst everything else and all Rey could do was gape at it until the cement walls of the parking garage obstructed her view.

Kylo parked rather haphazardly in the first open spot he could find and whisked her off of her feet only a second after flipping the kickstand so the motorcycle wouldn’t topple over. “I can walk you know!” Rey laughed, nuzzling her face into his chest while her hands wrapped around his still sweaty neck from the concert. “Oh, I’m very aware,” Kylo chuckled darkly, as if he hadn’t stared at her ass multiple times in the past 24 hours.

The elevator was surprisingly fast as it rose to the very top floor, level twenty-three, and Kylo managed to hold her the entire time while he stared down the flashing red numbers on the panel by the doors. “That won’t make it go any faster,” she teased. He just grumbled under his breath at the damn thing to hurry up and within the next second, the doors were opening up to the floor that only had four doors down the entire hallway. 

Of course, Kylo was all the way at the end on the left and he entered the apartment without even having to unlock it. “You know that’s seriously unsafe, don’t-” Rey was abruptly cut off by Kylo pushing her against the door, her legs wrapped around his waist and fingers in his hair while his lips moved desperately against hers. She barely made note of the fact he locked the door beside her, her brain more focused on the way his hands slid down to grip her ass yet again.

A soft moan spilled from her lips at the action and she let her head loll back against the door, Kylo not stopping his assault as he moved his devilish lips down her jaw to her neck. Her sensitive skin was sucked roughly between those full lips of his and she was fully aware there’d be marks the next day, but she greedily begged for more as she tightened her grip in his hair and tugged him forward.

“Oh, God…” Rey breathed hopelessly when Kylo started to move even lower, leaving sloppy and wet marks between her breasts. “Bed, now,” he growled against her, suddenly pulling away to give her a heavy look through darkened eyes that had her nodding frantically. “I, um…” Rey began when he pulled her away from the door and started to walk in the direction of wherever the bedroom was in the freakishly large apartment.

“No sex,” Kylo finished for her, already seeming to know what she was about to say. He just winked at her and kissed her deeply yet again when she blinked at him in the usual stunned expression she appeared to wear more often around him. Somehow they managed to get to the bedroom and Kylo dropped her on the plush mattress roughly while Rey just giggled and watched him shuck the frayed leather jacket off his arms in front of her. 

If Rey wasn’t shocked before, she was definitely losing her fucking mind now at the sight of the baggy tank he wore that showed off muscular arms covered in miles of black tattoos. To be fair, she’d never seen him without sleeves before and the sight of roses, script, wings, snakes, and other wicked things had Rey practically soaking through her panties. No inch of skin was untouched by ink and when he tugged the shirt off while she gaped, it seemed like a shock to her system to see his chest and abdomen were completely bare.

Maybe that was why she figured he didn’t have any in the first place-- she’d seen his torso from the open shirt he wore the night before and had observed the glistening abs that now stood just inches away from her. But before she could reach out to run a trembling hand over the perfectly sculpted body he had, Kylo was yanking her legs forward and beginning to work on the knot belonging to her shirt.

“This okay?” he asked breathlessly, frantically trying to undo the tight ass knot she’d made in fear her breasts would fall out mid-show if it was too loose. “More than okay, just no-”

“Sex, I know,” Kylo grinned, bending forward to capture her lips yet again while he finally undid the tie and pried the shirt open beneath him. The cold hit her nipples first and immediately hardened them so that by the time Kylo pulled away to finally get a look, he instantly froze at the sight of them. “ _Jesus fucking Christ_ , Rey…” was all he managed to get out before one of his warm palms reached up to grasp her right breast in utter admiration.

It was like he was seeing tits for the first time in his life, his eyes wide and lips parted in disbelief. Rey just bit her bottom lip in embarrassment and spread her legs wide so he could push them both back and nestle himself between her hips. And when his thumb rolled over the pert bud begging for attention, Rey couldn’t help but whimper at the stimulation.

His mouth came next, soft and hot and wet around the same nipple that had just been blessed with his touch, and Rey’s back was practically bowing from the bed to get as much of herself into his mouth as possible. Kylo’s free hand slid underneath her arched back to pull her closer, just as needy as she was, while his tongue slid expertly around her nipple before sucking deeply. 

Teeth grazed the sensitive skin and Rey moaned shamelessly at the feeling before he began to lave at her poor, and now significantly pinker, bud yet again. “Oh _God_ , Kylo…” she breathed out in a mix between a mewl and a cry when he sucked roughly then pulled away in the next second to move to the nipple that hadn’t gotten any attention. 

Rey’s cunt throbbed in her shorts and the feeling of her rockstar’s sudden bulge rubbing against her stomach only made her wetter, even though she knew this was the most they’d be doing for the night. Almost as if he could read her thoughts, Kylo pulled away with swollen lips to stare at the mess he’d created of her tits with a certain pride behind his gaze before flicking his eyes up to meet hers.

“Please for the love of God spend the night with me,” he begged like a man desperate for water after being stranded in the desert. Biting her bottom lip at the request, obviously skeptical about what he was asking, Kylo caught on yet again and tugged on the cross rested higher up on her neck from lying down as he said seriously, “I promise to respect this, Rey.”

So without another thought, Rey nodded and decidedly shucked off her shorts to leave her in nothing but her panties and heels that had remained on. Kylo groaned at the sight and collapsed next to her as if he was in pain, only leaving Rey to giggle and roll over onto her stomach to stare at him while he lolled his head to the side to look back at her.

With a grin of his own, Kylo reached for the dog tags dangling around her bare neck and gently pulled her forward to lead her in a slow kiss instead of the passion they’d just had a moment ago. “These look good on you,” he murmured when she pulled away, eyeing the silver necklace fondly as thick locks of brunette hair fell over her shoulder to hang beside it. Dark chocolate eyes clashed against hazel ones and in the next second, Kylo whispered the only words to ever truly steal Rey’s breath.

“You’re the only girl I’ve ever given these to.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope y'all enjoyed! As always, be kind in the comments xx


	4. I Don't Want to Miss a Thing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy! xx

Kylo woke before Rey did.

With a groan as he rolled his neck and stretched his arms above his head, he was surprised to feel something warm murmur against his chest and shift. All of the memories of last night’s show and what happened after came flooding into Kylo’s head and after he blinked the last of his sleep away, he looked down to see the gorgeous tumbling waves of brown hair falling down a bare and tanned back.

Rey was face down on his abdomen with her arms wrapped loosely around him, her right leg draped lazily over his lower torso. There was a faint smile on her lips as her eyelashes fluttered every so often along rosy cheekbones that suggested she was still dreaming. His dog tags and her cross had managed to fan over his own bare chest in a beautiful contrast that had him grinning from ear to ear. 

_She was such a beautiful sleeper._

Before he could stop himself, Kylo was gently reaching for the nightstand drawer and ever so quietly tugging out the worn notebook and pencil that resided inside. Rey huffed a little in her slumber as the movement seemed to disturb her, but she just cuddled her face deeper against him when he went back to the original position they had woken up in. 

His left hand lifted carefully to begin stroking her silky hair and with a silent chuckle, he twirled the still growing bangs between his index finger and thumb. Kylo admired her for just a while longer before turning his attention to the notepad as he bit his bottom lip, and for the first time in months, began to scribble down lyrics that flowed easily into his brain.

By the time he had managed to get out the first three lines, Rey was slowly rising on his chest with a small yawn and flex of her toes. Closing the notebook and setting it to the side as quickly as possible, Kylo greeted her with a smile and ran his fingers through her hair again while she rubbed her eyes and peered up at him. 

“You know… you might be a great singer, but you aren’t very good at hiding things,” she said teasingly in an adorable morning voice that had Kylo’s stomach doing somersaults. Wrapping her arms around his neck, Rey pulled herself up so she rested completely on top of him and slowly pressed her lips against his, such a sweet and gentle thing that Kylo couldn’t help but snake his own arms around her tiny waist.

He was only able to enjoy it for a few short seconds though because she was pulling away to eye the journal he’d just written in that now rested on the nightstand. “Don’t tell me you draw too,” she grumbled, burying her face in his chest with a muffled groan. _There was no way he could already be talented in music and be good at art, too_. Kylo just chuckled and shook his head, hesitantly reaching back over to grab the worn out book and hand it to her.

“It’s where I write all my lyrics. Divine inspiration and all that shit…” he murmured. Rey lifted her head in interest, Kylo admiring how natural she looked right here on his chest with the morning sun starting to rise over the already busting city below. “Can I look?” Rey asked while biting her bottom lip in that way Kylo already adored so much.

Knowing he’d just written lyrics about her, he was cautious to hand the thing over to her, but there was no way he could say no to her curious hazel eyes and cute, freckled nose. Hell, even her lips parted in a way that begged to know what was inside of the notebook. So he gave it away with a sigh and watched as she tucked herself into his chest under his chin and began to flip through the pages.

The lyrics to _Dream On, Walk This Way_ , and _Rag Doll_ all blurred by as her eyes scanned in fascination at all his little scratches and marks and perfect handwriting. It wasn’t until she landed on the new page did her breath audibly hitch in her throat. Kylo watched silently, even nibbling on his own bottom lip and fiddling with her hair, as he watched her stroke her fingers ever so delicately over the words. 

“Has it got a tune yet?” Rey whispered, completely blown away. “No, I just needed to write it down,” he replied genuinely while tilting his head to the side to stare at the page with her. 

They were silent for a few moments before ever so quietly, just above a breath, he listened as Rey sang, “I could stay awake… just to hear you breathing… watch you smile while you are sleeping…” She lifted the notes at the perfect moments before returning to lower and softer pitches at the end, even managing to drag out and rush certain phrases flawlessly. 

Unable to hold back a grin, Kylo nodded along wordlessly as she lifted her gaze to him to see if he’d heard. The glimmer of the cross around her neck caught his attention beside the dog tags and without holding back, he reached out to tug the thing with a chuckle, just to tease her so she wouldn’t feel embarrassed for singing. Rey glanced down at what he was doing in humor before her own eyes went wide and she yelped, “ _Shit!_ ”

Before he knew what was happening, Rey was stumbling out of the bed and rushing to the clothes pooled on the floor by the side of the bed. Kylo sat up immediately and questioned urgently, “What? What is it?” He watched in confusion as she grabbed his shirt instead of hers and threw it on without another thought, the oversized tank falling right at mid thigh and fitting her more like a dress than anything.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, I’m so late for Sunday mass. Shit, Sister Maz is gonna _kill_ me,” Rey whimpered while she worked her shorts up her legs and picked up her heels with a face of absolute dismay. _Oh yeah, people were definitely going to think this was a walk of shame._ “Well shit, at least let me give you a ride,” Kylo rushed while he tried to pull himself out of bed as well. 

Rey just shook her head and spun around, leaning over to pull him into a deep kiss including tongue and threaded fingers through his untamed black hair. When she pulled away, both of them breathless, all she managed to get out was, “Come get me after two.” And with that, Rey was practically sprinting out of the room and fleeing the apartment as she tried to think up the best way to possibly explain why she wasn’t in her room and not at Sunday mass. 

*****

Kylo had been working on the song from earlier that morning for over an hour when a furious sounding knock came to his front door. Grumbling and taking another pull from his cigarette, the whiskey already out beside the journal at ten in the morning, the rockstar sauntered out from the kitchen and made his way towards the front door.

_Was Rey back already?_

But when he opened the door, Kylo’s heart immediately sank to the floor to see Snoke seething and holding up a newspaper with white knuckles. The headline read: _REN’S ROCKSTAR ROMANCE?_ with a giant picture of Rey and him on his motorcycle coming out of the underground parking garage from last night’s concert. 

She looked beautiful on the back of his bike, all wispy hair and long legs and giant smile, but it was the fact that the two of them were practically captured perfectly despite everything else blurry in the background that had his manager enraged. “You brought a fucking _girl_ on stage, changed the fucking set list, then left the fucking venue with her? You’ve got some nerve, boy, pulling a stunt like this,” he spat, pushing into the apartment forcibly.

“By all means…” Kylo huffed under his breath as he closed the door and walked back in the direction of the drink he was definitely needing to down now. Snoke smacked the newspaper down on the kitchen counter beside the rockstar who slid back into his bar stool and drank the entire swig of alcohol left in his glass before pouring it half full again.

“Whatever the hell _this_ is,” Snoke growled, jamming a crooked finger onto the picture, “needs to stop at once. You’re a fucking rockstar, Kylo, not a romantic. I signed you to write songs that would sell out arenas, not get you a lover.” Kylo grit his teeth at what Snoke was saying and stared down at the journal that had thankfully closed when he stepped away to answer the door.

The only thing that would make this worse would be if his manager saw the literal love song he was writing about Rey. “So… what? You expect me to just get drunk and snort coke and sing every day for the rest of my life?” Kylo asked with a sarcastic laugh, shaking his head while he took another long drag of the cigarette.

Before Snoke could say anything, Kylo slowly turned his head to lock eyes with the snake-like man and blew his smoke into his face at the same time he pushed the end of his cigarette into the middle of the newspaper to extinguish it. Snoke all but snarled at Kylo then, ripping the newspaper away only to throw it violently to the ground beside where they were standing.

“Lose the fucking girl and get your act together, Ren. You’re a goddamn rockstar. Act like one,” he threatened lowly, leaving him with a disgusted look before storming out of the apartment and slamming the door behind him. Kylo pursed his lips and turned his attention back to the closed journal sitting in front of him. Its leather back was worn and stained from coffee, alcohol, cigarettes, and other unspeakable things.

Strange, then, that something so flawed contained his now most treasured lyrics. 

Attempting to take a calming breath, Kylo took another rather large sip of his whiskey with a hiss from the burn and turned back to the pages he was writing in before Snoke showed up. Grabbing his pen from beside him, Kylo only managed to write down _'cause even when I dream of you, the sweetest dream will never do. I'd still miss you, babe, and I don't want to miss a thing,_ before he grabbed the glass filled with brown liquor and flung it violently against the wall with a shout of anger.

He watched it shatter into a million pieces, whiskey and glass dripping down his kitchen wall before mingling together on the floor in a broken pile.

*****

Rey stared at the window on the second story of the boarding school that belonged to her and Rose. Her heels were clutched tightly against her chest as she attempted to catch her breath from the run she’d just made across the entirety of the Californian city. She was well aware that mass had already occurred and she’d missed it, something she’d probably be in trouble for with Sister Maz, but she was more concerned on getting into the room dressed in denim shorts and Kylo’s top.

With a nervous nibble to her bottom lip, Rey turned her attention to the ground below her and began to look for rocks she could throw at the window with the hopes Rose was inside and would hear her. Green grass tickled her feet as she gathered small and smooth pebbles below the few trees that lay scattered around the school on the small plot of land given to them.

Once she’d rounded up a sizable amount of stones, Rey brought herself below the window, and with the best aim she could manage, flung a rock at the glass that would lead to her room. She took a few hesitant steps back, unsure if it would grab someone else’s attention that she didn’t want, but when nothing happened, Rey did it again.

The soft taps repeated again and again against the window and when Rey had nearly given up hope, bending down to try and find more stones, the window suddenly opened and the curious face of her best friend peered out. “ _Rose!_ ” Rey hissed urgently, stepping out into clear view so that her friend could see her. Rose’s eyes widened significantly when she realized who’s been terrorizing the window and gave an anxious glance over her shoulder to what Rey presumed was the bedroom door.

“Where the _hell_ have you been? Sister Maz is worried sick! She’s about to call the police because she thinks you’ve been kidnapped, Rey! _Kidnapped!_ ” Rose whispered-yelled while leaning further out the window. Seeming to understand what Rose was asking of her, Rey tossed her first black heel to her best friend before the other so she could free her hands to climb up the brick wall lined with dura-trels meant for growing vines. 

Determined to answer Rose’s question once she got inside, Rey started to climb the wooden backing for the vines that were already starting to snake up the posts with heavy pants and a pounding heart. Fuck, she never thought in a million years that she’d be doing something like this. The sound of Kylo’s dog tags clinking around her neck only made her face turn pink with embarrassment, but she’d play it off as exertion.

Rose scrambled to drag Rey inside of the bedroom, both of them somehow out of breath from the activity they’d just gone through. As Rey dusted herself off from her run and climb, walking over only to collapse on her bed with parted lips gasping for air, Rose closed the window and turned around with her hands on her hips. “Explain,” she demanded immediately.

Rey managed to pull herself up into a sitting position and dropped her head into her hands as she tried to process the frantic morning she’d already had, even though it was barely past noon. “I spent the night at Kylo’s and he wrote me a _song_ , Rose. By the time I found out what time it was, mass had already started. I ran here, barefoot and in his shirt, but I didn’t make it in time and now he’s picking me up at two because he leaves tomorrow for the last two weeks of the tour,” Rey confessed somberly. 

There was silence in the room for a few moments and Rey dragged her hands down her face to peek at her friend nervously, expecting to see her red in the face with anger at the poor decisions she’d made over the course of forty-eight hours, only to see Rose now wearing a shit eating grinning. “Kylo Ren has the fucking hots for you, Rey,” she said smugly. 

Unable to contain the blush that came over her face, Rey just buried her head in her hands again with a low groan until a sudden knock came to the bedroom door. “Rose? The police say they’re keeping an eye out but I think I might put together a little group to go out searching for Rey as well. Would you like to be a part of that team?” Sister Maz asked on the other side, her tone nervous and distraught. 

Rose and Rey shared a giant, panicked look before Rose was grabbing a blanket off of her bed and wrapping Rey around in it with a rushed whisper, “Let me do the talking!” Rey nodded and stood behind her best friend as Rose opened the door and allowed Sister Maz to look inside. Her face immediately lit up with relief and she flung herself at the eldest girl, pulling her into a crushing hug while she practically sobbed, “Oh thank God, you’re okay!”

“Rey just told me she went for a walk last night and ended up falling asleep in the park. She thinks she might’ve gotten sick from sleeping outside and felt too weak to come to mass this morning when everyone else was already in attendance,” Rose explained with an expert precision that had Rey raising an eyebrow at her best friend. Rose just gave her a look that said, _don’t fuck this up._

So Rey gave a pathetic cough into Sister Maz’s shoulder and pulled away to give the older woman a reassuring smile. “I’ll be okay, Sister Maz. Just made a silly mistake. Forgive me for missing mass this morning,” Rey apologized kindly. “Oh, Rey, don’t you worry one bit. You’ve never missed Sunday mass. We were so worried and I’m so glad nothing happened to you. Take care of yourself for the rest of the day okay? Don’t do that again before you leave!” Maz just scolded lightly back.

Rey nodded and watched the woman leave the room with another thankful but stern look that suggested she meant what she said about Rey resting for the day before the door was closed and Rose was all that was left in the room with her. Dropping the blanket and sighing, Rey sat back down on her bed and shook her head. “I can’t believe that worked…” she whispered in disbelief. 

Rose just laughed at her friend and rushed over to hug her in a fit of glee. It wasn’t long until the older girl was laughing as well and looking up to gaze at the amused face of her longtime friend. “Now, back to what I was saying before Sister Maz came in…” 

*****

Kylo shut the bike off and ran a hand through his messy locks as he turned his attention to the boarding school to his right. He was about to head straight for the front door when the sound of his name being whispered loudly from around the corner caught his attention. With furrowed eyebrows, Kylo pulled himself off of the bike and hesitantly rounded the side of the boarding school to see Rey hanging out of the second story window.

The smile that bloomed over his face was immediate as he caught sight of his dog tags hanging elegantly from around her neck while she bent over. “Can you catch me?” Rey asked, looking over her shoulder to make sure no one was coming into the room before she turned her urgent eyes back to him. “Yeah,” Kylo agreed immediately, jogging over to stand under her window.

His breath caught in his throat at the sight of one long, bare, and tan leg swinging itself out of the window with a brown heel on the end of it before another one joined it. Tight high waisted shorts followed as Rey rolled over onto her stomach and Kylo groaned to himself as that firm little ass of hers came into view underneath the light wash denim. 

Her shirt was multicolored, of course, and her long brown hair tumbled over her shoulders as she shimmed the rest of herself out of the window before letting go to get captured in his arms. Kylo caught her instantly, only letting her go to set her down on her feet as she smiled at him when she turned around. Before he could get a proper look at her face, however, Rey wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him down into the deepest kiss he swore he’d ever had with a woman.

She tasted the same as she always did, sweet and addictive, as her tongue moved passionately against his. Kylo’s hands found her waist, so incredibly small that he was convinced his hands could span around its entirety and touch at the back. So when she finally pulled away, both of them a little dazed, he couldn’t help but hold onto her and tug her close yet again for another chaste kiss.

“You look beautiful,” he murmured against her mouth as their foreheads rested against each other. Rey blushed and bit her bottom lip, those mesmerizing hazel eyes of hers peering up at him under dark lashes that seemed to never have an ounce of makeup on them. She looked at him like he was the sole thinking keeping her on the ground and his heart skipped a beat in his chest at the thought.

“Get me out of here?” Rey asked softly, letting one hand drop down so it rested lazily on his chest. Kylo nodded and took that same dainty hand of hers in his before jogging back in the direction of his bike, still parked outside of the boarding school. Rey couldn’t help but admire the loose black shirt he wore, the already short sleeves rolled up to his shoulders to show off all of that black ink on his arms that she was beginning to adore. And his ripped up jeans and matching coal colored boots only had her swoon harder for the man cloaked in darkness.

Kylo swung himself with ease onto the motorcycle, Rey’s arms encircling his waist only a few seconds later as she became more familiar with the vehicle. “Where are we going today?” she asked through a smile while Kylo balanced the bike out and kicked the thing to life. “I… am taking you to get a guitar,” Kylo replied smugly. He didn’t have to see her face to know she was shocked at what he said, so he just tore off down the road while Rey clung to him wordlessly.

There was a shop on Hollywood Boulevard that Kylo had gone to when he got his first guitar. He’d been no older than six, his father allowing him to play on one of his old electrics before Kylo could even walk. It had been a birthday present from his father, and while his mother had given his dad a stern look when Kylo unwrapped it excitedly, she was ultimately the one who gave him sheet music to learn with.

He’d been playing the damn instrument for years now, knew everything there was to know about the strings and knobs and sounds that accompanied it, but nothing had mesmerized him more than the night before when Rey played along perfectly to Bon Jovi. And, because he was a jealous bastard, Kylo was determined to get her her own electric so she could learn his songs and play along.

He needed to blow a little steam anyway considering the morning he’d had with Snoke. And because of the little incident he’d had with the alcohol, practically shattering the glass to a million pieces, Kylo had sobered himself up as fast as possible in order to be fully present by the time he picked up Rey. In fact, the thought he’d had earlier about it had given him a title for the song he was writing for her- _I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing._

If she asked about it later, he’d show her how far he’d gotten on it.

But right now, he was more focused on giving her something they could both look forward to. Before he knew it, they were parking the bike outside of the guitar shop and Kylo was already unfolding sunglasses to hide at least some aspect of his identity. It was getting harder these days to do that, especially in Hollywood, but the addition of Rey on his arm appeared to help considering no one thought he was the type to have a girl around. Although, the papers might have changed that…

“You really don’t have to get me a guitar, Kylo! They’re so expensive,” Rey worried out loud as soon as they got off of the bike and he took her hand again to lead her towards the shop. “Please tell me you didn’t just say guitars are expensive when I’m the lead singer of a rock n’ roll band,” Kylo shot back with a look that said, _seriously?_

Rey just turned pink at the cheeks and followed behind him as they entered the shop, only three other people inside already looking at some of the instruments that lined the walls. He started to lead them towards the section labeled electric, already trying to mentally figure out what color Rey would probably like the most, when her hand left his.

Kylo stood back and watched as Rey passed him with wide eyes and parted lips, her gaze dead set on a white Steve Vai Pia with gold hardware, pearl inlay, and white detailing up its black colored neck. It was an absolutely stunning guitar and when she lifted those slim fingers of hers to pluck one of its thick chords and toss an amazed look over her shoulder at him, Kylo knew he was falling hard for this woman.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope y'all enjoyed! As always, be kind in the comments xx  
> [Rey's Outfit](https://i.postimg.cc/ZRmfd3Xy/SIX-F44-C844-B-D5-EA-4157-BDF4-CBCBBABB34-FA.jpg)  
> [Rey's Guitar](https://www.ibanez.com/eu/products/detail/pia3761_00_01.html)  
> 


	5. Waiting for a Boy like You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy! xx
> 
> A/N: Fingering and Oral Sex

Rey had never seen such a beautiful guitar in all of her life.

So when Kylo grabbed it off of the wall, let her pluck a few strings with a wide smile, then took it to the register without another word, Rey had been absolutely bewildered. She was the proud owner of a brand new electric guitar and Rey couldn’t have been any more on the verge of tears than she was on the back of his motorcycle with her arms wrapped tightly around his body and the case strapped to her back. 

His dog tags twinkled underneath the approaching summer sun on the back of the bike and her hair whipped around her tanned face, getting caught in her lip gloss every now and then, but Rey couldn’t care less. All that mattered was that she was with Kylo and this was the second gift he’d given her within three days. It felt weird to consider that everything that had happened was in the span of three days, but it felt… right.

Rey liked how fast Kylo moved. She’d never really had excitement in her life, not until Rose had convinced her to go to the concert and now everything seemed to be so thrilling. Oh, and the way Kylo _looked_ at her. She was certain she’d never had a man look at her the way Kylo had, a mix of adoration and delight whenever she gazed at him in return. His hands were always on her and believe it or not, he hadn’t pulled out a cigarette more than a few times in her presence.

Rose had told her a while ago about Kylo before she even knew what he looked like, or who he really was, that the man was a rockstar through and through. He liked whiskey at any time of the day, smoked like a chimney, and had apparently snorted more coke than all of the groupies in California. His record with women was no surprise as well, though that had seemed to decline very rapidly recently, and he was also known for smashing guitars if the crowd begged enough.

Rey had yet to see any coke, women, guitar bashing, or drunken fits, and she really didn’t mind the smoking if she was being honest. Nearly everyone seemed to do it and fuck if it didn’t turn her on to see Kylo whip out that white stick and balance it between full lips. That being said, she wasn’t sure if she’d actually do it herself, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t admire others who did it. 

Her attention turned away from the passing people walking down the streets of Hollywood to the hundreds of tattoos that littered Kylo’s arms, yet another thing she found attractive. Part of her was tempted to drag her fingers over the dark lines and test the theory that she could still feel the ink under his skin although they’d healed, but she decided to do that once they got to his apartment.

Black aviators still sat on his pale face and the messy strands of inky black hair fluttered in the wind as well. Overall, he looked like the epitome of a handsome and dark stranger belonging to romance novels and Rey was absolutely smitten with him. So she just pressed her face into his back a little closer and held on tight until they were parking back in his garage a few minutes later.

Rey spent most of the ride up bouncing on her feet, eager to open the case and play on her new guitar. Kylo just watched fondly with folded arms that showed off his insane muscles and black markings that encircled them. When they finally got to his apartment, Rey rushed to the couch to unzip the case and pull the white instrument out with giant eyes. “This is insane, Kylo…” she whispered in admiration.

“Play something for me?” Kylo asked as he walked in the direction of the bedroom while Rey got comfortable on the couch. The only rock song Rey knew on the guitar was _Wanted Dead or Alive_ , but she knew a few church tunes which had taught her guitar in the first place. She began to pluck the tune to _Hallelujah_ while she waited for Kylo to return from where he was, a faint smile tugging at her lips at the heavenly sound that resonated along with the religious song.

Kylo strode back into the room only a few moments later, his writing journal in his hand and pages flipping past while he tried to locate the song he’d somehow gotten halfway through with. “I’ve never heard that song before,” he commented as he sat down sloppily beside her and finally landed on the first page of _I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing._

“That’s because it’s a religious song,” Rey shot back with a smug grin. Kylo just rolled his eyes in amusement and handed her the journal once she set down the guitar carefully on her lap. Her hazel eyes scanned the page and all lightness she’d had moments ago faded away to that of being stunned. “Is this…?” Rey trailed off with the question, but Kylo seemed to understand due to the way he nodded quietly. 

_I could stay awake, just to hear you breathing,_

_Watch you smile while you are sleeping,_

_While you’re far away and dreaming._

_I could spend my life in this sweet surrender,_

_I could stay lost in this moment forever,_

_Every moment spent with you is a moment I treasure._

_Don’t want to close my eyes,_

_I don’t want to fall asleep,_

_‘Cause I’d miss you, babe,_

_And I don’t want to miss a thing._

_‘Cause even when I dream of you,_

_The sweetest dream will never do,_

_I’d still miss you, babe,_

_And I don’t want to miss a thing._

“You wrote all this… for me?” Rey questioned breathlessly, tearing her eyes away from the journal to stare at him. Kylo nodded yet again and gently pulled the thing out of her hands to sing the song quietly to her. His voice was such a unique sound, so gravelly and low with the ability to reach extreme high notes that Rey knew all too well from the song _Dream On_. Which reminded her, she’d have to ask him to sing that for her sometime because she was convinced that was the song that had made her fall head over heels for him. 

When he stopped singing the same tune she’d offered to him this morning in bed, Rey couldn’t resist herself from flinging herself at him, the guitar still strapped to her body, to engulf him in a giant hug. “Kylo, I don’t even know what to say,” she murmured into his neck as heavy tears began to build up in her eyes. His strong arms wrapped protectively around her as he held her back. “Don’t say anything, then. I want you to play it,” he replied confidently. 

Rey pulled away at that and ogled him in bewilderment, not sure if she was hearing him correctly. “You want me to play it,” she repeated dumbly. Kylo nodded and reached for the guitar, setting it back up in her grip as she blinked away her surprise and watched him turn his own gaze to the notebook. “Just play what comes naturally. We can figure it out together,” he informed kindly.

With a deep breath, Rey placed her fingers on the strings and noted the moment he opened his mouth to begin singing again, “I could stay awake, just to hear you breathing…” They both took it slow, much slower than they probably needed to, but Rey was concentrated on trying to make the chords sound right as Kylo eased them through the song.

What ultimately resulted was a slow, romantic tune that had Rey’s heart thumping in her chest. In the giant space of his downtown apartment, the sound resonated throughout the open area and filled both of their ears beautifully. They repeated the song a few times, Rey fixing some of the initial errors and Kylo taking it a bit faster until they reached their fifth time and it fit together like pieces of a puzzle.

Kylo set down the journal with a wide grin at the very end and stared at Rey like she’d just opened the heavens for him. “When I come back in two weeks, I want you to be a pro on that thing. I’m gonna give you all my sheet music and I expect you to be as good as Phasma,” he teased, standing up from the couch with a light groan to take the guitar from her and put it back in its respective case. 

Rey couldn’t help but admire the bulge of his arms and the way his ripped up black jeans framed his ass perfectly, and she definitely couldn’t help the way her cunt clenched in her own denim as he effortlessly picked up the case with one arm while holding her guitar in the other. _Fuck, he could throw her around like a rag doll if he wanted to._

When Kylo peered over his shoulder with a mix of shock and amusement, Rey realized she’d said that out loud, much to her dismay. “What did you just say?” Kylo asked with a smirk, his hilarity evident in his tone as he packed away the instrument then turned around to face her. The blush that began to creep up Rey’s face was red hot and she barely managed to stutter out, “I, uh… I didn’t m-mean to say that.”

Instead of him antagonizing her, however, Kylo was rushing towards her and picking her up off of the couch in a flash while Rey yelped and began to hit his back. “Put me down! _Kylo!_ ” she wailed through a grin as Kylo began to head in the direction of the bedroom. “No can do, sweetheart,” Kylo replied cheekily, barging into the bedroom only to drop her roughly on the bed then immediately clamber over her.

His lips found hers instantly and Rey moaned, allowing herself to relax while her fingers threaded through his wild hair and his own hands began to work on pulling up the multicolored top that was tucked into her high waisted shorts. “This okay?” he breathed out against her, his pupils already heavily dilated. Rey just nodded eagerly, yanking away to tug the thing off as well to expose the fact she wasn’t wearing a bra.

Kylo groaned lowly at the sight of her bare upper body and began to trail his wet lips down her neck to her sternum, and then to her perfectly pert right nipple. “Oh, God…” Rey whined, bowing her back into him as he swirled his tongue around the pebbled skin before sucking it roughly between his teeth. Rey lifted her legs to a bent position and trapped him on top of her by locking her ankles around his back.

Her rockstar didn’t seem to mind, however, only dragging his mouth to the other nipple with a dangerous growl that suggested she better not fucking move right now. Instead, Rey let go from tugging on his hair and started to work on the button and zipper of her jean shorts, Kylo removing himself from her tits with heavy pants as he glanced down to what she was doing. 

Rey just whimpered when his own giant hands pushed hers away and managed to yank both the denim and lace down her long legs in one fucking go. “Jesus fucking Christ, Rey, you’ve got the sweetest little cunt,” he hissed, as if seeing it was so painfully arousing, he couldn’t stand it. “Touch me… please?” Rey begged softly below him, reaching up to snatch one of his hands and pull it down to her wet folds. 

The first contact of his thick fingers parting her soaking cunt had Rey clutching his arm as Kylo groaned into her neck and began to suck dark marks into her soft skin. His fingers were thick and heavy against her and she could feel her slick begin to drip down his hand from how wet she was alone. “God, you feel so good,” Kylo moaned before his fingers found her clit with a startling accuracy.

“ _Fuck!_ ” Rey cried weakly, her free hand tangling tightly in his hair as she arched her back against his and spread her legs even wider for perfect access. With a meticulous precision, Kylo began to roll the rough pads of his fingers into her clit and make Rey impossibly wetter. She could feel her juices running down her heated skin to the bed sheets, but neither of them seemed to care because Kylo was suddenly dragging the same fingers on her clit to her tight entrance.

“Please, please…” Rey begged, locking hooded eyes with Kylo who pulled away to make sure she was okay with what he was about to do. The initial push of his middle finger into her snug walls made Rey scrunch her eyes up as her mouth opened and her head fell back to let out a soft whine, but the further he pushed inside of her, the better it began to feel. “Fucking hell, you’re so tight, Rey,” Kylo murmured, leaning forward to push his lips against hers.

The distraction of the kiss soothed her initial discomfort from being entered, but he soon began to rock his finger in and out of her and any soreness before bloomed into an indescribable pleasure. Rey’s sopping wet cunt clenched around his thick digit from all angles and breathy sounds of bliss slipped past her lips as she thrust her hips into him and urged him to add another. 

“That’s a good girl, there it is sweetheart…” Kylo urged on as he pushed the pad of his thumb against his clit while two fingers curled deep inside of her, a thick sound of wetness filling the air while Rey made incoherent sounds into his shoulder. His whole body seemed to swallow hers, protecting her from the outside as if someone else was going to see the intimacy going on between them and he wanted to be the only one to experience it.

A tight feeling started to build up within Rey’s lower belly and from the few times she’d touched herself, she knew she was close to her orgasm. So Rey tightened her legs around Kylo and pulled him impossibly deeper, Kylo’s fingers driving in and out of her with a speed that had her juices now sliding down his wrist and forearm while her clit throbbed from the pressure he was applying to it. 

“Such a good girl for me, are you close?” he edged, pulling himself from her neck to one of her nipples so he could add even more stimulation while he twisted his fingers against the soft, spongy front wall of her soaked cunt. Stars danced across her vision and all Rey could do was nod, writhe, and whimper. 

But when he pulled away without warning, Rey nearly whined at the loss of contact. It wasn’t until those thick lips of his she’d been dreaming about landed directly on her clit at the same time his fingers pushed back inside did Rey realize what he was doing. “ _Kylo!_ ” she cried out, fisting his hair with her slim fingers to pull him closer while he worked his mouth around her. 

If Kylo was good at singing and playing the guitar, then he was a fucking legend at eating pussy and fingering it. Rey was a panting, flushed mess below him as Kylo sucked and swirled his tongue relentlessly around her sensitive nub, his fingers still twisting and curling inside of her to pull out lewd amounts of slickness. “You gonna come for me, sweetheart?” Kylo asked teasingly, pulling away to lock eyes with her half lidded ones as he continued to pump two thick digits into her tight little cunt.

Rey nodded with a soft mewl, bowing off of the bed yet again when Kylo growled, “Good,” then returned to flicking his tongue around her clit. Slow and steady, the tension in her stomach began to build higher and higher until her toes were clenching in the air beside his head and her knuckles were white with how tight she was holding onto Kylo’s hair. If anything, he just continued with his brutal pace and even added a third oversized finger beside the others while rolling his tongue over her pulsing bundle of nerves.

“I’m gonna come, I’m gonna come! _Kylo!_ ” Rey cried, twisting with a shout below him as he firmly held her hips down and persisted in eating her out as the occupied hand curled devilishly inside of her. Her vision was white and her mouth was open in a silent yell as her thighs trembled around his head. She’d never had an orgasm as intense as this one and when things slowly began to grow oversensitive, she had to gently tap out on his shoulder so he would give one last swipe to her soaked pussy and pull everything away.

Breathless, pink, and lost for words, Rey stared at the ceiling while Kylo collapsed beside her, also panting heavily. His mouth and chin were shiny from how wet she was, but he looked so thoroughly blissed out that Rey figured he didn’t mind at all that he was covered in her cum. At that thought, Rey slapped a hand over her mouth to contain the giggles that threatened to fill the room.

“What?” Kylo asked with a grin, turning his head to look at her in amusement. Rey rolled over onto her side to throw her jello-like limbs over him and curl up as she bit her lip but finally admitted, “You’re the first person to give me an orgasm that isn’t myself.” With a groan, Kylo rolled on top of her and began to pepper her face in kisses as she squealed and tried to slap him away, both of them so unbelievably happy. 

*****

When Rey woke up the next morning, she was completely naked beside an equally nude figure. Her rockstar slept soundly beside her, one of his thick arms wrapped loosely around her shoulders to keep her planted firmly against his side. He looked so peaceful when he slept and Rey wanted nothing more than to grab a camera and take his picture so that she could savor this moment for a lifetime.

Today was the day he was leaving for his last two weeks of tour. Before they’d fallen asleep, she and Kylo had talked about him coming to visit her at her new apartment when he returned. Rose would be helping her move in while he was away, and while they hadn’t had sex last night, Rey was fully planning on breaking in the new living space with the man very easily stealing her heart.

At the thought, Rey reached out and cupped his face in her hand as her thumb stroked the sharp cheekbones she admired. Kylo was such a handsome man- tall, broad, dark, and all cool angles, he was like an omen of sex with black hair, low eyebrows, sinister eyes, full lips, and scattered beauty marks. She couldn’t help but wonder what he looked like when he was younger and it dawned on her then, she didn’t really know that much about the man she’d spent roughly four days with now.

Deciding she’d ask more about him when he returned, Rey rolled over from his embrace and fumbled along the nightstand to find the notebook Kylo had brought in at some point last night to continue working on the song. Flipping to empty pages that gave him more than enough space to finish the song for her he’d been working on, Rey began to scribble some of her own lyrics onto the yellowed pages that had obviously had a few too many alcohol spills. 

By the time she’d written down what she hoped counted as a chorus and a few sentences to introduce it, Kylo began to stir beside her. She carefully set the journal back down on the nightstand and rolled onto her side to watch him as he slowly woke and blinked away sleep. A lazily smile spread over his face when he caught sight of her and in the next instant, his arms were reaching for her and pulling Rey against his bare chest.

“Good morning. Gonna run out on me again?” he asked groggily in that deep morning voice of his that had Rey instantly weak in the knees. “No, not this morning,” she murmured against his neck as she snuggled deeper under his thick black comforter. Both of them were silent for a little while, both understanding what was bound to happen in a matter of hours considering he’d have to get on the road.

“Can you promise me something?” Rey questioned in the silence of the room, her finger drawing random shapes on his bare chest. He hummed to her inquiry and Rey took in a deep breath before tilting her head back to meet his chocolate eyes and murmur, “Will you come see me when you get back?” 

Kylo blinked a few times at that, confusion covering his entire face along with shock, as if her question seemed to surprise him greatly. “Rey, I… I thought that was a given?” he shot back, obviously out of it in the sense he’d already expected to see her upon his return. But before he could get another word out, Rey was rolling her naked body onto his and plunging into a deep kiss that had her rockstar sighing and encircling her waist with his hands.

When she pulled away, dog tags hanging down between her breasts to graze the muscular planes of his abdomen, Kylo pushed some of her long hair behind her ear and told her sincerely, “You’re going to be the first thing I see when I come back in two weeks. And the number you have on these tags? It’s for my personal phone. I want you to call and tell me your new address so I can see you.” Rey nodded as she bit back a smile and pressed her lips enthusiastically against his once more. 

Eventually, the morning began to slip away and lying naked in bed morphed into putting on clothes and watching Kylo pack the bags she hadn’t even noticed. A personal driver came to collect him just before noon and started to carry down his luggage to the car that held the rest of the band members. Kylo and Rey remained upstairs for a little while longer, however, telling the driver to take his time with loading before he came back up to finally take the rockstar away.

Rey snatched up the guitar case still resting beside the couch before their exciting adventure to the bedroom and made sure it was zipped up safely before sliding the somewhat heavy thing over her shoulder. His hands snaked around her waist from beside when she turned to look at the glass paneled wall facing the city. Already, the streets of Hollywood were buzzing as the day began, but Rey felt like it was moving faster than she would have liked.

“You promise to be good while you’re gone?” she blurted without really thinking what that question was asking of him. Kylo chuckled in her ear, a low and sensuous thing that had Rey’s stomach doing somersaults. “I promise to be on my very best behavior, sweetheart,” he replied. She nodded and turned around in his arms to lace her fingers behind his head so she could pull him down for yet one more kiss. “I’ll miss you…” she whispered. 

He gave her a small and kind smile, lifting his head only to plant those full lips of his on her forehead in a reassuring display. Kylo didn’t get to say any more as the door to his apartment opened yet again and the driver stepped inside with an expectant gaze. With a sigh, Rey nudged her hand into his and held on tight as they both slipped past the older man sadly.

It was a quiet ride down the elevator, but their hands stayed firm in each other’s. And when they finally reached the bottom where the car was waiting to take them to their tour bus still parked at the arena from the last concert, Kylo was the one to squeeze her hand in a silent promise that made Rey’s heart jump in her chest. He only let go of her hand once they both reached the car and the back door opened to reveal the three other band mates.

“Jesus Christ, what have you done to him?” Phasma asked from the car as she leaned out and eyed both of them approaching the car. Rey couldn’t help but blush at the reaction of the guitarist while Mitaka also dropped his jaw at the sight of Kylo now slinging his arm protectively around Rey’s shoulders. “I really haven’t done anything,” Rey giggled, pushing her rockstar away with the shake of her head. 

For the briefest of seconds, they stared at each other without really knowing what to say, so Rey just reached out and hugged him tightly while she whispered in his ear, “I’ll see you in two weeks, okay?” Kylo nodded earnestly at her question and pulled away with a grim looking face. He slowly got into the car with the other members of the band as Rey awkwardly clutched the strap of her guitar case and shifted her weight from one foot to the other.

The driver eventually shut the door behind him and before she could fully comprehend that he was leaving for fourteen days, the car had started and began to pull away from the garage in the direction of the tour bus. It was then that Rey realized she had no way of getting home besides to walk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope y'all enjoyed! As always, be kind in the comments xx


	6. Rebel Yell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow... 400 reads in 4 days... absolutely insane. Thank you guys so much for giving this fic a chance, I'm head over heels for this fic and I love writing it. I hope y'all enjoy this chapter xx.

“Come on, last one!” Rose huffed as a small drizzle of sweat worked down her tanned and pink face. Her black hair stuck to her temples and the loose top she’d opted for now remained close to her body despite the fact she’d rolled it at the arms and tied it up at the stomach. Rey groaned with another heave of the giant box they were currently pushing up the stairs to her second story apartment, the cardboard thing filled with kitchen essentials. 

It had been a little over a week since Kylo had left for the tour, and a little over a week since Rey had found out the media was now desperate to figure out just who she was. When she’d returned to the boarding school eight days ago, the guitar case strapped to her back and tears in her eyes, Rose had hesitantly handed her a newspaper with the headline _REN’S ROCKSTAR ROMANCE_. Of course she’d read it, but she was more than relieved to discover they had no idea who she was.

So Rey kept a low profile for a few days after that, sticking mostly to the boarding school and continuing to pack the essentials for her new living space. Rose had nearly cried every night as the day got closer and closer for her to move out, but it was ultimately here before either of them knew it, and now they were on their very last box with everything else already stacked inside. 

“You sure Kylo couldn’t come to help out with this?” Rose grumbled with one final shove, the horribly heavy box finally evening out right in front of the door step to Rey’s cozy new apartment. “He’s on tour, Rose,” Rey reminded with a sigh. Her empty living space was filled with different sized cardboard boxes, and while there were really only about twenty boxes considering the boarding school could only give so much, it still felt like so much when they’d been lifting and carrying.

Rose had thankfully set up Rey’s record player to the first open power outlet they could find and sneakily put on a Knights of Ren album to help fill the silence of them unpacking and placing everything away. The apartment was small, but it wasn’t bad by any means. The living room and kitchen were connected, only divided by a half bar for where she would eat her meals, and all of the walls were painted a pastel green.

Her bedroom was to the left which connected to a bathroom and Rey was thankful that she had two beautifully sized windows in her living room and one decent sized window in her bedroom. The walls were a pale blue in her bedroom, but Rey liked that too. Overall, she felt like she could be very happy in her new place and she’d invited Rose to come over as often as she wanted to.

So they began on the first of the boxes, deciding to tackle the kitchen supplies box first considering it seemed to be the heaviest. Maz and a few other Sisters had pitched in to get Rey a nice set of silverware even though most of the girls who moved out with support from the school got hand-me-down cutlery. Rose had teased her by saying she only got new stuff because she was their favorite, and for once, Rey had to agree with Rose.

Even the passed down plates, bowls, pots, and pans seemed to be scrubbed to the point where they looked brand new. Other things like dish towels and the salt and pepper shakers were very obviously worn from the amount of use they’d gotten around the school, but Rey found an odd comfort in the sight of dull food stains on the white towels Sister Maz would wipe her hands on when preparing meals.

By the time they’d finished up in the kitchen, Rose was flipping to the other side of the Knights of Ren album and humming along to _Dream On._ Rey couldn’t help the small smile that bloomed over her face when she heard the melody, the first thing she’d ever heard Kylo sing, and she swore she’d never get tired of it. 

Her mind had been active in the last week since he’d left.

Rey often found herself wondering just what he was doing. Had he found her terrible lyrics she’d scribbled in his journal yet? Had someone else caught his eye? Was the media giving him a hard time about her? Since she’d laid low and let the first newspaper article drift by, it seemed like more of the gossip tabloids had only picked up on the story and were desperately trying to figure out who she was. As far as she knew, however, they hadn’t discovered anything about her identity.

They were terribly trying to put together the couch in the living room when Rose let out a huge sigh and collapsed on the floor with her arms spread out and a frown on her face. “Moving sucks,” she told Rey seriously. Rey laughed at the statement and nodded, trying to hammer in a nail where she hoped a nail went for the wooden frame of it all. “Trust me, this place will be beautiful once we’ve set it all up,” she told her best friend with a kind smile.

Rose painfully dragged herself up from the floor and eyed her friend skeptically before letting her gaze travel down to the dog tags that still sat around Rey’s neck. “Have you taken those off since he gave them to you?” Rose asked, finally picking her own hammer back up to continue with her work. Rey paused to reach down and fiddle with the silver tags clearly stating _Kylo’s Girl_ and his personal number.

She hadn’t called him yet, too afraid she’d be disturbing something, but figured she could give him a try tonight since there wasn’t a concert later. “Uh… no, I don’t think so,” Rey admitted with a blush, dropping the tags to focus on their work instead of the truth she truly hadn’t taken them off once. Not even when she showered. 

“You should give him something to hold on to also, you know? You have his tags and he could have… your cross?” Rose suggested. Rey couldn’t help but give Rose a look that said, _are you kidding me?_

Kylo? In a cross? The day that happened was the day the sky turned black. _He’d probably like that,_ she thought. It was true that the boarding school had given Rey some money to help her out with other things she might need at random for starting out, and that some of that money had gone towards her wardrobe, but that didn’t mean Rey bought all black garments.

Okay, well, she bought a few black garments. 

Rey’s new wardrobe now contained: knee high black boots, black tights, leather mini skirts, two oversized Knights of Ren shirts that fell to about mid thigh, a few more tie up shirts, a few more block heels, and one faux fur coat that Rose had talked her into. Yes, she was certain that Kylo would probably throw a fit at the new choices of style she was going to show off to him. 

Rose had asked her if she and Kylo were going to go public when he got back, but Rey had nervously laughed that off and said they weren’t even dating. Thinking back on it, Rey’s heart had hurt somewhat at the thought that she wasn’t officially Kylo’s, but he was also a world famous rockstar and she was just a girl from a Catholic boarding school. 

For the majority of her life, Rey had been memorizing bible verses, putting on knee high socks and pleated skirts, and attending mass. Now, she was going into the real world and buying goddamn leather skirts and getting her cunt eaten out by Kylo fucking Ren. It felt strange to already want to be tied down to the least likely person to have a steady girlfriend, but Rey couldn’t deny the way that she felt with him.

Her heart was always beating faster than it should be and Rey just felt… alive with Kylo. It was like he’d opened her eyes for the first time ever and now the world was entirely in color. She’d played the guitar to an arena full of people, snuck out of the school more than once, and let him whisk her away multiple times on the back of his motorcycle.

Rey loved every single minute of it.

Maybe it was a good suggestion to give him something then, her hand instinctively reaching up to touch the dog tags again, but she was by no means giving him the cross that sat higher up around her neck. “I’ll figure out something to give him. Now work on your side of the couch,” Rey shot back with a grin, starting to hammer the wood into place the same way her heart now throbbed inside of her chest. 

*****

Kylo stared out of the tour bus window as they pulled up to the arena they’d be having the press conference in. Snoke had already informed the band that they’d be answering questions about whether or not another album was going to be in the works now that tour was coming to an end, and while there wasn’t a concert tonight, it was important they put as much of their time into answering these questions as possible before they dropped off the map for a while. 

A glass of whiskey was already being nursed in one hand, a lit cigarette between his index and middle finger in the other. His mind had been stuck on Rey every single fucking second of every day that passed and the giant block phone that didn’t rely on a cord like others did seemed to always be by his side now. He’d been sure to keep it out of sight whenever Snoke was around, but that wasn’t often considering the man ran around trying to make sure everything was running smoothly.

She hadn’t called him yet, and that had only slightly begun to worry him since it had been a week now, but the amount of hope he held was still enough to stifle the majority of his nerves. She was just so… beautiful. Those sparkling hazel eyes, adorable dimples, and splattering of freckles occupied his mind the same amount that her genuine kindness and charming spontaneity did. Inside and out, Rey was the most amazing woman he’d ever met and Kylo was falling fast for her.

So the last thing he wanted to do was a goddamn press conference knowing full well they’d be asking about her since he never addressed the newspaper displaying the picture of them leaving the LA concert on the back of his bike, and he knew Snoke wouldn’t be happy either. He and Rey didn’t get the chance to talk about what exactly they were to each other, but he was a decent enough man to know not to single her out or give anything away about who she was.

When the bus finally came to a stop within the underground tunnels belonging to the arena, Hux peeked his head into the back room past the rows of bunks where Kylo was hiding. “You ready man?” he asked, eying the glass and smoke drifting easily into the air. “Yeah, let’s get it over with,” Kylo grumbled, throwing back the rest of his alcohol and pulling such a hard draw off his cigarette that it finished the whole thing with ease. 

Hux said nothing at the act, just pursed his lips and turned away while Kylo adjusted the ripped up black jeans he wore and followed behind him. They were led through the concrete tunnels below the arena to a room they’d wait in until the conference room was ready for them. Phasma, Hux, and Mitaka all sat down and closed their eyes to catch up on whatever sleep they were missing out on while Kylo made a beeline for the stack of magazines laid out on the table in the middle of the area.

Of course, the first headline he found was labeled _MUSIC’S MYSTERY MAIDEN._ He grabbed that one immediately and noticed the picture was the same one that had been on all of the newspapers, a zoomed in take on the shot of Rey and Kylo driving away on his motorcycle. He quickly flipped through the pages until he could locate the actual article and finally stopped on the correct page where the three page long spread began. 

_Kylo Ren tying someone down? I bet you thought you’d never read that line! Well neither did we, but it’s never too late to change that. At his concert in LA, lead singer and rockstar Kylo Ren from the Knights of Ren shocked more than just his fans when he left his concert with a mysterious brunette that seemed to have no problem cuddling up to him on the back of his bike. Who is she? What makes her so special? No answers have come yet, but here’s some theories we’ve come up with…_

Kylo put down the magazine before he could read on, a little sick to his stomach and a little angry at the fact people were trying to track down his sweet Rey. Before he could even begin to think that bringing her onstage and leaving with her immediately after was a mistake, Snoke was bursting into the room and pushing them in the direction of where the conference was supposed to take place. 

“Now remember, you are recording another album this summer and another tour is expected to begin in September if things go right,” he advised them sternly, halting before the door that would lead them inside to give all of them a warning look. His sinister eyes rested on Kylo for a little longer than everybody else, but the rockstar just stared back with an equally gruesome expression. With a heavy sigh, Snoke finally opened the door and the band walked in while camera flashes popped around them with a blinding result.

Kylo winced at the amount of flashing aimed directly at him and quickly tugged his aviators down from his wild locks to protect his eyes. They each found their seats at the long table set up before the crowd of journalists, all of them reaching out hands that held pads of paper and pencils so they could jot down answers to whatever questions they had. 

Phasma was ultimately the first one to pick a rather short man in the front. Everyone quieted down from their initial frenzy to listen to what the man had to say as he rose to his feet and pressed his pencil against the pad, ready to take notes. “Kylo! Who’s the girl from the concert in LA?” he questioned earnestly, his curious and desperate eyes never leaving Kylo’s hidden ones. The rest of the crowd sparked to life at the question and began to shout their own urgent demands of who she was.

Licking his lips nervously, Kylo leaned into the microphone set up in front of him and teased, “She’s beautiful, isn’t she?” then leaned back with a slight smirk. Of course, everyone practically jumped out of their seats with a slew of questions while Snoke silently seethed and shot Kylo daggers. Hux picked the next woman who rather eagerly asked, “What’s her name?” With a sigh, Kylo leaned into the microphone again and replied, “Something stunning, that’s for sure.” 

He could hear his bandmates chuckling beside him, obviously as amused as he was with his responses to the questions that seemed to be trained solely on Rey. 

“Where’s she from?”

“California, obviously.”

“How old is she?”

“Legal, if that’s what you’re asking.”

“Are you two dating?”

“We haven’t talked about it, really.”

By the end of all the questioning, Kylo felt drained. Seeming to catch on, Mitaka finally asked the crowd behind a humored tone, “Does anyone here have a question about our album or tour?” The reporters eventually hushed down about the mystery girl, accepting they weren’t going to get anything out of Kylo no matter how hard they tried. So the rockstar sat back in his seat and pulled out a cigarette to suck on while the other three members of the band answered questions about the next album they were going to put out.

If Kylo was being honest, he didn’t really want to work on another album right away. His main priority suddenly seemed to be a girl with freckles, hazel eyes, and long legs that might want some special guitar lessons. Nothing would please him more than to ditch the press conference right now and go grab his girl and sit down on the couch with a guitar in her hands and her lounging on his lap. So of course, Kylo couldn’t hold back the smile that made its way to his lips at the thought.

A few camera flashes went off before he could really think anything of it, but Kylo set his face back to something stone cold and listened along to questions concerning potential release dates, tour locations, and song topics. The questions droned on and on for what felt like hours, Kylo burning through three cigarettes by the time the last hand lifted into the air and even the reporters started to squirm in their chairs. 

“A question for Kylo… will we be seeing this girl with you again anytime soon?” an older looking woman questioned nervously. Pushing the end of his last cigarette into the nearby ashtray, Kylo reached for the microphone in front of him and pulled it close so he wouldn’t have to lean forward. And with a pregnant pause just for affect, Kylo finally grinned and said, “Of course.” 

Everyone immediately went crazy again with new questions about Rey, but Kylo rose from his chair and lifted his hand to the crowd to signal he was done while the other band members slowly clambered away from the table as well. Snoke was on them as soon as they were out of the door, instantly bombarding Kylo with profanity and the same question, “What the _fuck_ was that?” again and again while they walked back towards the tour bus. Before Kylo could get on it, however, Snoke was yanking Kylo’s shoulder back and slamming the younger man against the side of the bus with a snarl.

“I told you to get rid of that fucking girl. You’ve ruined your fucking image! How dare you disobey me, you ignorant boy!” Snoke growled as spit flew out of his mouth in rage. Kylo shoved him off roughly with a scowl, shouting back at him, “Touch me again and I’ll fucking hurt you!” Both of the men stared each other down with seething expressions, but it was finally Hux who gently tugged Kylo away with disarming words.

Kylo needed a goddamn drink.

He pushed his way into the tour bus and strode angrily in the direction of the back of the bus where all of the liquor was stored. The half drunk bottle of whiskey resting on the back of the booth-style seating welcomed him as soon as he wrapped his hand around its neck and pulled the cool glass to his lips. The honey colored liquor stung going down his throat, but the numb feeling that spread through his veins just moments later felt so… _good._

With a slight stumble, Kylo made a grab for his black electric he’d nicknamed Whisper when he was younger and collapsed on the seating with the bottle in one hand and the guitar in the other. He took another heavy swig from the textured glass of alcohol and frustratedly began to pluck at the strings of the instrument that had seen years of use and venting. 

Who the fuck was Snoke to criticize him? Weren’t rockstars all about being unpredictable? So what if he was falling hard for a fucking girl? Most people in rock did eventually and he was beyond certain he would never find another girl like Rey that he would want as much. Rey was drop dead gorgeous inside and out and fuck all of the media trying to figure out who she was.

As far as Kylo was concerned, Rey was his and his only and he wasn’t about to let his manager or fucking magazines take her away from him. The thought angered him more than he initially thought and the bottle made its way to his lips yet again while his fingers started to strum in a more aggravated manner. With a growl to himself, Kylo rose from his seat with a staggering step and tossed the whiskey back until every single drop was down his throat.

The sound of the glass shattering at his feet barely registered when he dropped it and pulled the strap of the electric guitar over his shoulders. His right hand fumbled to find a cigarette in his jeans pockets, and when he finally felt the hidden stick, Kylo pulled it out with a snarl and immediately lit in within the next second. He wasn’t sure the tune he had started playing until it clicked that the _Wanted Dead or Alive_ lyrics had subconsciously floated into his brain.

Even far away from her, Kylo was thinking of Rey performing on the stage next to him. She’d rocked the entire arena with her solo and Kylo couldn’t have been any more proud of her than he was at that moment. To see her focus so intently on that goddamn stage and zone out, Kylo couldn’t help but absolutely adore her. How could someone _not_ adore her? 

Fuck, he so desperately wanted to hear her voice right about now.

So with an angry draw from his cigarette, Kylo put all of his attention to the guitar in his hands and wailed on the chords to the same solo Rey had played at the LA concert that now seemed to be following him like horny groupies. The harder he played, the more his vision began to blur. Alcohol coursed through his blood with rage and very abruptly the sight of his hands on the guitar was replaced by his hands wrapping around its neck and lifting it high into the air.

With a shout of pure fury, Kylo brought the black electric down onto the floor of the bus and watched the sleek body crack directly down the center. Unsatisfied with the result, he brought it down again and again and _again_ until the wood splintered beneath the polished and painted surface and the tight metallic coils of the strings curled up like the bow ties on presents. 

The alcohol caught up to him only seconds later as he dropped the now severely damaged guitar, and the last thing Kylo caught sight of was the worried and dismayed eyes of his bandmates in the doorway. With a wipe of his hand across his liquor covered lips, Kylo took a few stumbling steps backwards, tripped, then hit his head hard on the way going down.

*****

Rey stared at the magazine Rose slowly handed her. The younger girl had gone out to grab some extra light bulbs and snacks while they worked on the last room, Rey’s bedroom, but had brought back a single magazine that turned her blood cold. In big yellow letters right on the front was the headline _PUZZLE SOLVED? FURTIVE FEMALE FOUND!_ with a brand new picture of her walking down the street. It was the one of her heading back to the school with her new guitar after Kylo left to complete the last two weeks of tour.

It struck her right then and there that reporters were genuinely searching for her and clawing to any detail they could find when it came to her identity. “I already read the article. Don’t worry, they still don’t know who you are… the only thing they concluded was that you lived somewhere in Hollywood, looked young, and played the guitar,” Rose told her carefully, trying her best not to upset her friend.

Instead, Rey fell back onto the couch and stared at the picture someone had managed to capture. There was a faint smile on her face, her hand clutching the strap across her chest belonging to the guitar case, and the multicolored top was a bit blurry due to the fact they’d caught her mid stride in her brown heeled boots and high-waisted shorts. Rey stared at a happy reflection of herself gliding down the street without care which now appeared extremely ironic considering she felt more anxious than she ever had before in her life.

Rey flipped to the article Rose had read through and found that sure enough, they hadn't figured out who she was. Some relief flooded her system, but she decided right then and there that she would have to call Kylo tonight after they finished moving in. She let out a heavy sigh and tossed the magazine onto the coffee table in front of her and nervously looked to her best friend that had been shifting her weight from one foot to another beside her.

“You okay?” Rose asked lightly. Rey just nodded and stood up from the couch, heading back to the bedroom to continue assembling the bed frame in a means to distract herself. “Um… is it okay if we just focus on moving? I’m gonna call Kylo later and talk to him about it,” she murmured. Rose nodded and hurried into the bedroom to assist Rey, neither of them talking for a decent amount of time as the older girl’s mind raced with worry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope y'all enjoyed! As always, be kind in the comments xx


	7. Dancing in the Dark

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy! xx

“You know he gets like this…” Hux murmured to the other two as they carefully stepped back from the bunk they’d just set Kylo down in. There was already a red mark forming on the side of his head from where he’d fallen after whatever the fuck happened in the back room, but he was still breathing and there wasn’t any blood, thankfully. “It’s getting worse, Armitage, and you know it,” Phasma shot back sternly. 

They all stared at the passed out figure of Kylo in his bunk, his hair strewn across the pillow and cigarette somehow _still_ between his fingers. Phasma reached out with a huff and angrily tore it from its safe position, throwing it onto the ground only to stomp it out within the next second. “This has to stop. We’ve let it get too far and Snoke isn’t helping,” she growled to both of her friends.

Mitaka and Hux both nodded along, but it was ultimately Mitaka who spoke first to agree with the older woman. “We’ve known from the beginning Snoke was going to use Kylo just for publicity and image. He doesn’t care about him like we do. We need to do something before it gets too out of hand,” he spoke firmly. The other guitarists pursed their lips in agreement and finally pulled their attention away from the blacked out rockstar.

“Should we get Rey involved?” Hux asked softly after a couple quiet moments passed of worried eye contact between the three of them. “No. Not yet, at least. Tour is almost over and you know he’s excited to see her. He doesn’t drink or smoke as much around her so maybe…” Mitaka trailed off, obviously guilty for what he was trying to imply. “It isn’t Rey’s problem, Dopheld. She may help, but it’s Kylo’s issue. We can’t let her take care of his obstacles by herself. 

“Tour is one week away from being over. Let’s try to find resources and keep an eye on him until it’s done, see how he is with Rey, and if anything like this happens again… we get her involved and get Kylo the help he needs,” Phasma decided fixedly. They all nodded along in a silent deal, each of them turning their attention back to the rockstar that was now slowly making his way to a state of sleep that included snoring. 

*****

Rey reached for the phone with a nibble of her bottom lip and picked up the dog tag hanging around her neck that had the phone number to Kylo’s personal phone. It was night time now, long past sunset and only a few minutes after Rose had left to return to Chandrila. They’d managed to move all of Rey’s things within one day and set up all of her furniture so the entire place was completely finished unless Rey wanted to add a few things here and there from other shopping excursions. 

Twirling the cord to the red phone attached to the wall, Rey finally punched in the numbers and leaned against the blue wall of her kitchen as the line rang once, twice, three times. Ready to give up hope that he wasn’t going to answer after all, Rey went to hang up until the faint clicking sound on the other end filled her ear and Kylo’s gruff voice asking, “Hello?” came through. 

“Kylo?” Rey questioned back, biting back a smile as she waited for him to register that it was her talking to him. “Jesus fucking Christ, I’ve missed your voice,” Kylo sighed into the other end, the sound of shuffling filling in afterwards for a bit until it went quiet again. “Tell me you’ve missed me as much as I’ve been missing you,” he begged. Rey couldn’t help the grin that consumed her face and she nodded before realizing he wouldn’t see it. 

“Yes, sorry, I’ve been missing you. I just nodded to nothing, like an idiot,” Rey admitted, slipping a little in her position of leaning against the wall while she wrapped the red cord of the phone around her finger. “You know, you’re quite the celebrity around here. Everyone wants to know who you are,” Kylo chided while Rey’s heart seemed to sink into her chest.

_Right. The magazine._

She nibbled on her bottom lip and adjusted her grip on the phone while her rockstar waited patiently on the other end. “Uh, yeah, I was actually calling to talk about that…” she murmured into the phone. Everything went silent for a few moments and all that could be heard was both of their breathing as they anticipated what the conversation was going to be about. “Did someone do something?” Kylo finally asked.

The possessive tone of his voice sent a chill down Rey’s spine and she licked her lips before shaking her head. “No, no… um… the magazines got a picture of me walking back from your apartment the day you left for tour and it kinda hit me that the media is really looking for me, Kylo,” she told him softly. Rey could practically hear him gritting his teeth and clenching his jaw through the phone. “What fucking magazine? I’ll have them shut down,” he growled.

Rey instantly stepped away from the kitchen wall and wrapped an arm around herself as she jumped in with, “No! No, I don’t want that! I’m just letting you know that people are trying to find out who I am and I guess… I guess I’d rather just, I don’t know, come out and say it with you rather than get hunted down.” Once more, the line seemed to go quiet as Rey eagerly waited for his deep voice. 

“You mean go public,” Kylo stated into the line. Squeezing her eyes shut, Rey realized what she just requested of him and quickly worked to save her ass. “I mean, we don’t have to say we’re a couple or anything, no, not at all. I just mean we’re kinda seeing each other and I’d like to keep seeing you and these people are going to keep looking for me and-”

“Rey, slow down!” Kylo laughed, a lighthearted sound that seemed to calm her own racing heart. “Yeah… yeah, okay. Let’s make it public we’re seeing each other. Tour is over in a week, we can see each other again and release a statement and go outside and not give a fuck if we’re together,” he slowly agreed. Rey couldn’t help but let out a sigh of relief at what he said, leaning back against the wall as her shoulders went light and her breathing evened out. “Okay,” she whispered. 

They stayed on the phone for a little while longer, Rey talking about how smooth her move in went with Rose and how excited she was to show it to Kylo when he came back. Kylo mostly discussed how painful the tour seemed to be knowing that he was so far away from her. He asked if she’d been practicing with her guitar and Rey proudly admitted she had learned the chords to _Dream On_ which Kylo enthusiastically begged for her to play for him. 

She rushed to grab the guitar case and pull out the shiny white electric he’d gotten her while she set the red phone down on the kitchen counter and very slowly, and carefully, played the correct tune to the song that had hooked her. “I’m still working on it, but it’s getting there,” she giggled into the phone when she put the guitar back down. “When I get there, I want you to play it for me in person,” he sighed happily. 

Rey just agreed with a smile and said goodbye only a few minutes later when Kylo told her the bandmates wanted to talk to him. So she hung up the phone and turned back to her now lonely apartment, pondering just for a moment that she would love it so much more if her rockstar was there with her. If she tried hard enough, she could just barely imagine him sprawled out on her couch dressed in all black with a cigarette between his fingers… 

It was nearly two in the morning when the thundering knocks to her front door came, then.

Rey slowly sat up from bed and rubbed her eyes with a groan, looking around at her quiet room as if it would have answers for who was disturbing her this late at night, or this early in the morning technically. With a worried brow, Rey slipped out of her bed and moved towards the living room in nothing but an oversized Knights of Ren tee and some cozy socks. 

Part of her wondered if it was Kylo who was knocking on her door, but a face she’d never seen before on the other side shut that fantasy down immediately. For extra protection, Rey made sure the chain lock was secure before unlocking the main bolt to her front door. She cracked it open slightly to peer out at the man who all but snarled when he finally found where she was hiding.

“Who are you?” Rey challenged immediately. “So you must be the girl everyone is talking about. Took a lot of fucking connections and pulling strings to find out where you moved to. Had to be very kind to some lovely nuns at a place you so very conveniently moved out of today,” he hissed into her face. A shiver ran down Rey’s spine and her first instinct was to slam the door in his face and make a dash for the phone to call 911.

Instead, Rey questioned demandingly, “Are you from the magazines? Because I’m not going to tell you anything.” The man slammed his hand angrily against the door to try to force it open, but the chain lock held while Rey yelped and jumped back. “You think I’m from the fucking media? I’m Kylo’s manager for Christ’s sake, who you need to stop fucking _seeing!_ ” he yelled. Rey was certain she’d be getting some noise complaints already for the way this was going, but Rey could care less when it came to getting this man the fuck out of her house. 

“I don’t care who the hell you are. What’s going on between Kylo and I is between us and no one else. You need to leave immediately or I’m going to call the police,” Rey said in an even, threatening tone. Years of having to go into the city alone had taught her how to be menacing to a certain extent, and it was taking all of her strength not to bolt and remain where she was. 

The wicked looking man just growled at her response and warned her lowly, “You’re going to regret it if you keep seeing him.” Rey swallowed thickly in her throat, but shut the door on him swiftly within the next second, making extra sure to lock the door as loudly as possible. The apartment felt eerily quiet after that and Rey stayed put in her kitchen for longer than she would’ve liked, scared and alone. 

*****

Kylo hung up the phone after hearing Rey’s sweet voice. It felt like a weight had been lifted off of his shoulders after their call and oh, to hear her play his fucking song on that pretty little guitar of hers? Kylo was over the goddamn moon. He fell back on the booth style seating of the back room of the bus and stared at the ceiling with a dazed expression on his face. 

He’d never felt like this for a woman before. Sure, he’d had a few girls interested in him in high school before he skipped out on college to start up a band, and there seemed to be no shortage of women now on the road, but Kylo was craving whatever the feeling was that came with Rey. The closest he’d ever gotten to something like this was with a girl his junior year of high school named Kaydel.

She was a pretty thing with honey-colored hair and wide eyes, but much too innocent for him. They’d both been in band together, she played the flute, while Kylo had been in percussion-- his passion for guitar was left mostly to jamming out at home, much to his mother’s dismay. Kylo could still remember when she snuck out of her house late one night to come watch him play guitar at the local park just five minutes away from their high school.

That was the first time Kylo had played in front of an ‘audience’ really before he started up the Knights of Ren while everyone went off to college. His father had been ecstatic about this idea while his mother had been less than thrilled. See, his mother was known for the production company she’d inherited from her adopted father. 

Leia Organa had come from a long line of moguls and music legends, but when her real father had a drunken accident that cost the life of his pregnant wife, it had been decided he was unfit to raise the children they’d managed to save in time while he got the help he needed. So Leia was taken in by a famous record producer who taught her the ways of the business while her brother was given to an instrument shop owner and his wife.

Luke had been raised to fix, teach, and sell every instrument that was made and had gifted Kylo with so many different music books when he was little that Kylo nearly drowned in the amount he owned. If Kylo wanted to learn the trumpet, God bless his mother, Luke was there with books filled with basic level sheet music. But when Han had put that guitar in his hands at the age of four, Kylo had been a slave to it ever since. 

See, Han Solo had not only swindled his way into the music industry at the age of nineteen in 1938, Han Solo had swindled himself into playing guitar for stars like fucking Duke Ellington, Judy Garland, Frank Sinatra, and Dean Martin-- just to name a few. By the time the 1950s came around, Han had managed to sweep the daughter of record producer Bail Organa off her feet and get her pregnant with a son. 

But that didn’t mean Han stopped playing for bands. No, he continued to work with artists like Billie Holiday and The Crickets in the 50s and the goddamn _Beatles_ in the 60s before he finally retired. By the time he’d given up his guitar, however, in the year 1968, Kylo had formed the band that would become the Knights of Ren and had decided to not go to college to pursue his dream. Leia had offered to help produce him and his band’s music when she took over her adoptive father’s industry, but years of neglect had left a storm brewing inside of her son.

Every action they took to try to mend the bond they’d broken while he grew up only made him draw more and more in on himself until one man extended a greedy fucking hand and asked the question, “Want to be a rockstar?” So yes, Kylo had had a poor excuse for a relationship with a girl before, and yes, Kylo had let go of other relationships to pursue his future in rock, but Rey seemed to be the one thing he was willing to fight for and see through. 

Before he could take that big of a trip down memory lane, however, Kylo was pulled from his daydreaming when a soft knock came to the doorframe to the back room he was occupying. He glanced up in the direction of the sound and found the concerned faces of the three bandmates he called best friends staring back at him. It was Mitaka whose eyes drifted first to the pile of glass and stain of liquor on the floor that still hadn’t been picked up.

Kylo frowned almost immediately when he realized what was about to happen, but by the time he was starting to sit up and open his mouth, Phasma was marching over and growling out, “Stay down.” So he closed his mouth and watched as his friends all sat down across from him and let their eyes drift pointedly from where the accident had happened to the guilty rockstar that had caused it. 

“We need to talk. This is getting worse, Kylo, and it can’t keep happening,” Phasma said firmly, never tearing her piercing gaze away from him. He scoffed, going to reach for a cigarette in his jean pocket when he came to the understanding after a few pats that he didn’t have any on him. Hux raised an eyebrow at the action and Kylo had no choice but to sit there and cross his arms while his friends began the usual speech.

“Listen, we get it, okay? We’re in a fucking rock band. There’s more pussy than you can imagine, more drugs than you could ever hope for, and more alcohol that one could even dream up. But, Kylo, none of us are taking it as far as you are. We’re really glad you’re sticking around with Rey right now, but she’s a good girl. Drinking like this won’t just harm _you_ if she stays for a while,” Mitaka spoke bravely. Everyone seemed to blink at the usually quiet drummer.

Kylo pursed his lips then and leaned forward, dropping his head a little as he thought about what Mitaka had said. It was true that he wanted to be with Rey for as long as he could, but one look at the shattered glass told him that he couldn’t do something like this around her if he wanted her to stay. So he took in a deep breath and nodded slowly before meeting his friends’ eyes. “Okay. If it happens again, you have permission to… I don’t know, get me help. But I’m not going to do it again, so…” he trailed off hesitantly. 

That seemed to settle them for the moment and they all nodded before standing up from where they’d been sitting. Hux was the one to make the first move, confidently striding over and wrapping his arms around Kylo in an embrace that could only be described as brotherly. “We care about you, man. We don’t want to see you suffering or hurt yourself. You gotta know that we love you,” the red-headed man told him sternly. 

Kylo nodded against his guitarist’s chest and felt two more sets of arms wrap around him from different angles. And for a while, all of them just remained there. 

*****

Two days passed when it hit the stands. 

Rey Niima, age twenty from Hollywood, California and former student at Chandrila Catholic Boarding School made front line news in the magazines and papers. The picture they’d used was one the boarding school had put on their bulletin board showing off their students. It was obvious someone had gone inside and taken a picture of the picture considering she could see the corkboard behind it, but the picture was of her sitting on a white chair outside of the entrance leading to the school’s garden.

Her hand was in her hair pushing back the bangs that still sat across her forehead and she wore light wash bootcut jeans with a wide sleeved, dark sweater. She was barefoot and wasn’t smiling, but it was clear as day that it was Rey. When Rose had come knocking on her door early that morning with the newspaper clutched in white knuckles, Rey’s heart had practically sank through the floor. She snatched up the paper and couldn’t hold back the tears that started to flow freely as she read the article. 

_When one thinks of Kylo Ren, you don’t think crosses, bibles, and God-- oh my! No one suspected, then, that this legendary king of rock would fall for the most innocent of women. Rey Niima, age twenty, is from Hollywood, California and, until just three days ago, attended Chandrila Catholic Boarding School for Girls. Supervised by nuns and required to attend mass every Sunday, it’s a wonder this girl was even allowed at a rock concert… right?_

_After looking into the school and its rules, believe it or not, it is actually against school policy to sneak out after the designated lock in time of nine o’clock at night. And with a concert held at ten pm, it’s clear to see that this child of God disobeyed her instructors to watch the rockstar. Although our main source hasn’t revealed exactly how the two met, some attendees at the same concert have stepped forward to say Miss Niima actually_ ran into _the star._

_Earlier in the week, Rey Niima was photographed walking along the sunny streets of Hollywood with a guitar case on her back which seems to have conveniently popped up overnight! Of course, we went digging. As it turns out, Galaxy Guitars on Hollywood Boulevard just so happened to have Kylo Ren in their shop with a brand new purchase of a shiny white electric guitar which amazingly hasn’t made an appearance in the recent shows during the last few weeks of Ren’s tour._

_Was it a gift then? And if so, don’t you think it’s a little soon for something like that? Especially when it comes to a girl who has probably never been to a rock concert before except for the night she ran into him? Prepare to be stunned yet again, however, when we tell you Ren actually brought this girl_ on stage _during his LA concert to perform a cover of Wanted Dead or Alive by Bon Jovi. Witnesses claim Rey Niima was brought on stage and given the guitar of bandmate Gwen Phasma to play along while Kylo sang, and get this… she actually killed it._

_So whether it’s the classic ‘different face in the crowd’ cliche or that she’s actually a hidden rockstar, Kylo seems to have gotten it hard for the Christian girl. While it isn’t our first choice for the rockstar, it’s definitely something we want to know more about!_

Rey set down the newspaper and shakily looked to her friend that had sat down on the couch beside her. Rey didn’t even know she’d sat down after taking the newspaper, but she was extremely thankful that it was underneath her or else her legs probably would’ve given out from underneath her due to the fact she was trembling so hard. “They… they have my information, Rose,” she whispered through a horrified breath.

Her best friend nodded and immediately threw her arms around Rey to comfort her as the weeping began. There was no logical way to explain how people had gotten her information except for the man who had shown up at her house three days ago and threatened that if she didn’t stop seeing Kylo, there would be consequences. The thing that hurt the most, however, was that she’d been robbed of the opportunity to introduce herself with Kylo by her side. 

So she pulled away from Rose and headed towards the garbage can in her kitchen before ripping the newspaper to shreds. “I need to call Kylo,” she said through a choked up throat, immediately reaching for the phone just seconds later while also grabbing at the dog tag containing the digits. Rose stood cautiously from the couch and sat at the island as they both waited for the phone to ring after Rey punched in his number. 

“Uh, yeah, hello?” Kylo answered groggily a few moments later. It was obvious he’d been asleep as it was still early in the morning, but the sniffling from Rey caught his attention instantly. “Rey? What is it?” She shook her head at his question and let her eyes drift to the torn up newspaper at the very top of her trash can. “Your manager… he visited me a few nights ago and threatened me and-and… Kylo, all of my information has been given to the magazines. They know where I live and where I went to school and my full name and how old I am,” she cried.

There was heavy shuffling all at once and angry muttering filled the other end while the sound of heavy footsteps also echoed. “I’m gonna fucking kill him,” Kylo growled in the most sinister tone Rey had heard from him. Rose and Rey locked eyes at his sentence and Rey was about to open her mouth to say something when banging on a door came through the phone. 

“Open the fuck up, Snoke!” Kylo shouted at the door Rey presumed he was knocking on that contained the malicious manager. “What the fuck are you-” another voice began before the sound of a sharp crack, heavy thud, and startled cry jumped out. Rose and Rey both flinched with wide eyes at what they were hearing and waited until Kylo snarled, “You fucking leaked her information! I fucking quit this shit!” 

More shuffling rattled around until Kylo held the phone back up to his mouth, Rey not even coming to the understanding he’d sounded far away until he spit into the phone, “I’m finishing this fucking tour then leaving his management. What can I do, Rey? Fuck, I’m so sorry. I can’t believe he did this. I can come back right now if you want me to.” 

Rey shook her head at the last statement and picked up the phone she’d set down to let Rose listen in on so their conversation could be personal again. “No, no… finish the tour. I’ll see you in a couple days and we can figure this out when you come. I’m just gonna stay inside until you get back and hope he didn’t give out my new address too. Please just… if you can… can you address this?” Rey asked nervously.

“Of course. I’ll put out a statement and we can deal with it when I come home. I’m so sorry, Rey. I never meant for any of this to happen,” he breathed deeply into the phone. Rey licked her lips and nodded along, “I know. We’ll work through it. Just be safe and maybe don’t punch anyone if you can help it?” There was a strained chuckle on the other end and Rey realized how ridiculous it was for her to ask him not to punch the man who’d just given out her personal information.

They hung up with promises to make it better and that he would stay clear of the manager he was dropping as soon as possible and when Rey turned back to her best friend, all she could do was collapse in welcoming arms. In the corner of the living room rested the guitar Kylo had bought for her and suddenly the lyrics to _Dream On_ filled her mind and comforted her more than she could imagine. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope y'all enjoyed! As always, be kind in the comments xx


	8. Just Like Paradise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy! xx 
> 
> ALSO!! HUGE THANK YOU TO @TARZELLADRAWS ON TWITTER, SHE MADE ME THIS AMAZING FANART FOR THIS FIC AND I LOVE IT SO MUCH! PLEASE GO CHECK OUT [HER TWITTER!](https://twitter.com/tarzelladraws)  
> 

Rey was trapped inside of her apartment. 

While her apartment address hadn’t been leaked to the media, people somehow still found out where she lived. They hadn't actually come to her front door to bombard her with heavy knocks and questions behind the wood, no. But they did, however, swarm the sidewalk outside of her apartment building. So Rey wasn’t able to leave her apartment even if she wanted to. 

Rose had managed to get past the crowd a few times to come and comfort her best friend, but the boarding school had found all of the news and were starting to restrict Rose’s visits. Sister Maz was apparently very disappointed in their star pupil and Rey was certain she hadn’t cried more in her life than she had in the past week. Kylo was due home late tonight and they already agreed he was coming to her apartment immediately. 

Until then, Rey was trapped inside of her apartment with nowhere to go, no one to talk to, and nothing to do. Sure, she’d finally mastered a few of Kylo’s songs on the guitar she would happily show him later, but there was only so much her fingers could take playing on the thick strings before they began to feel raw. It was one in the afternoon now and Rey was buried under her covers, feeling numb all over.

If she listened close enough, she could hear the shouts from paparazzi and media below her window, but she’d put on a record in an attempt to block it out. With a weary sigh, Rey rolled over onto her back and scanned the room until she noticed a notepad on the desk across from her bed that remained blank, occasionally flipping when the fan above hit it with air. 

Swallowing, Rey managed to get herself out of the bed she’d made a home in and pad across the cold carpet of her floor to pick up the pad and a nearby pen. While she was up, Rey also increased the volume on her record player so she could just focus on Kylo’s voice and the promise that he would be there soon. The bed welcomed her back as she cuddled up in the thick comforter and pulled the pen and paper into her lap. 

Within ten minutes, Rey had scribbled down whatever came to mind and had come up with a few lines along with an accompanying tune. She nervously bit on her bottom lip and glanced up to the guitar that sat across from her against the wall. Kylo would be back in a few hours and maybe… maybe she could surprise him with whatever tune had come to her mind. So she pulled herself from the bed for the last time, a vow she made to herself, and settled back in with the instrument on her lap.

“Alright, let’s see…” she murmured to herself as she studied the four main clusters of lyrics. Amid all of the upset she was feeling within, Rey began with an exciting beat and couldn’t help but smile when she fell into a tune that she liked almost immediately. Rey wasn’t really much for singing, nor did she think she was very good at it, but she couldn’t help but start to sing. 

“Get your motor runnin'... head out on the highway. Lookin' for adventure… and whatever comes our way,” she sang ever so lightly under her breath. Rey stopped after the lyrics and melody came effortlessly and took a second to realize that, _holy shit, she’d just written part of a song._ So she clutched the guitar close to her chest and snatched up the pen to turn to the next page and scribble out the chords along with the lyrics. 

Fiddling with the strings, Rey decided she would apply the same thing she’d just worked out with the previous lyrics to the next one she’d written down in her journal. “I like smoke and lightnin’… heavy metal thunder. Racin' with the wind… and the feelin' that I'm under,” she vocalized with a much more enthusiastic sound. “Okay… I think I want to make those two different verses but add a chorus between them…” Rey thought out loud while scribbling that down on the new page as well. 

But that was where she hit the road block. With a huff, Rey dropped her head into her hands and groaned out loud while she tried to come up with something that was good enough to wedge in there. “Come on, Rey, just… make something happen!” she growled, flinging herself back and squeezing her eyes shut as she tried to think.

Silence passed for about five seconds before she bolted back upright and picked up the pen so tight, her knuckles turned white while she wrote and mumbled at the same time, “Yeah darlin’, go and make it happen… take the world in a love embrace… Fire all of your guns at once… and explode into space.” With excited eyes, Rey began to strum out a different tune to go along with the chorus and finalized all of it within the span of twenty minutes.

Her record that had been playing fizzled out by then, but Rey honestly couldn’t be bothered to care much. She was too busy trying to piece together whatever song she was coming up with. However, her brain became stuck yet again when she reached the point where she’d have to write the bridge and couldn’t for the life of her come up with anything she liked. So Rey went back to moping around in bed while she waited for Kylo to return.

*****

It was ten in the morning when Kylo started drinking. 

He’d begun mostly to try and ease the pain his hand was feeling from punching Snoke the other day, his knuckles purple and split in a way that didn’t actually look right, but now he was drinking for something to do. That being said, the band wasn’t actually doing anything and they’d just finished the tour, so everyone else had been drinking as well. And he was safely tucked away in his bunk with the curtain drawn so no one could disturb him. 

After taking another swig, Kylo lazily pawed at the sheets in an attempt to find his journal that he hadn’t written in since he left for two weeks. Kylo carefully tucked the whiskey into his armpit and found the bound pages only a few moments later with its pencil attached to the string that held his place. He flipped through the covered pages with a fond smile until he landed upon the one he’d been working on for Rey. 

All he had to do was add the finishing touches and make a few edits, and then the song would be done. And as much as he would have loved to finish it, he didn’t want to do so while wasted, so he just continued to flip through the remaining blank pages until one that actually had writing on it caught his eye. Furrowing his eyebrows, Kylo sat up a little bit in bed and narrowed his gaze at the handwriting that definitely wasn’t his.

A little bit thicker and messier, and surprisingly in all caps, Kylo realized rather quickly that it was Rey who had written in his journal. The buzzed grin that made its way across his face was nearly immediate while his eyes scanned the lyrics and he slowly sang out, “It feels so right… so warm and true… I need to know if you feel it too?” 

The subtle knock that came outside of his bunk startled him a little, but it was Mitaka’s kind face that appeared when the curtain separating Kylo from the outside was pulled back. “Is that a new song?” the drummer asked excitedly, a smile already on his face. Kylo chuckled a little and looked down at the journal in his grasp before looking back up and handing it to him with a sigh.

Mitaka snatched the thing almost immediately out of his grasp and scanned the page with wide eyes before scrunching up his brow in confusion and flicking his gaze back up to the tipsy lead singer. “Is this your handwriting?” he asked with a wedildered tone as he handed it back and pulled out some drumsticks from the back of his waistband, something he always carried with him out of habit just like Kylo always carried a guitar pick.

“No, Rey wrote it. What do you think? Want to come up with a beat or something?” Kylo asked, sitting up a little further so his wild hair was almost touching the ceiling of the bus. Mitaka shrugged with a grin and motioned for Kylo to hold up the lyrics and sing while he lifted the sticks and tried to tap something out on the side of the bunk bed. 

“Maybe I’m wrong… won’t you tell me if I’m coming on too strong…” Kylo began softly while Mitaka started to tap out sixteenth notes on the side of the bed in a beat that sounded something like one-one-one-two. Slowly, they worked through it until massive grins covered both of their faces and they couldn’t contain it anymore that what they were actually making was a good song. “Fuck, Rey can write,” Mitaka breathed out when they went through the entire song. “She can play fucking guitar, too,” Kylo chipped in, pride swelling in his chest as he talked about her.

“Who can write?” Phasma suddenly chimed in, pulling the rest of the curtain back to reveal her and Hux holding cups of coffee they’d probably snagged from the back room. “Apparently, Rey,” Mitaka informed the other band members, tossing the journal to them so they could look at the lyrics Rey had written. Both of them scanned the page before cocking an eyebrow in surprise and looking back up at Kylo who had ditched the alcohol to now push himself out of the bed.

“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” He asked the group with a wicked grin that only suggested one thing. Before they knew it, each of them were eagerly scrambling to get into the back room where guitars and an extra drum kit was set up. Each of them found comfortable spots and began to discuss the lyrics while Mitaka tapped out the rhythm he’d made on the side of the bunk. 

Eventually, Kylo started to work with the strings on his guitar along with Hux and Phasma until they created more of a slow and soothing love song instead of one of their usual pumped up hits. “She didn’t write that much down, just a beginning,” Hux pointed out when they stopped where the lyrics cut off. Frowning, Kylo picked up the journal and looked around to his friends. 

“We need to finish it. I see her tonight and I want to surprise her with this song. You know what’s been going on…” he trailed off, lowering his eyes so his friends couldn’t see the anger that was slowly starting to boil inside of him. Phasma placed a comforting hand on his shoulder and drew his attention back to her sympathetic eyes. “We heard that you might be… quitting the band, then,” she murmured. 

He bit his bottom lip and looked back down to his hands that were situated lazily on the guitar. The chunky silver rings he wore around his thick fingers glistened back at him and his mind instinctively told him to give one to Rey when he returned to her. Pushing it to the back of his mind, Kylo shook his head and admitted in a tired tone, “I don’t plan on quitting the band. I plan on getting rid of Snoke. I don’t want him as our manager anymore and I want to be with Rey publicly.” 

They all nodded, each of them wearing a subtle grin that suggested they agreed with him very much that it was time to get rid of Snoke and get the old Kylo back that had started the band. See, Kylo had recruited all of them through visits to dingy little bars that had open mics until he found two more than willing guitarists that had been best friends since diapers and a drummer who was treated poorly by the band he had been in.

A lot of their early days were spent in Kylo’s garage, much to Leia’s dismay, fucking around with different melodies and lyrics they’d come up with on the spot. It wasn’t until roughly a year into their mess of a band that they finally started writing good songs and booking gigs at joints that would pay them to perform. Now, they were selling out arenas and topping the charts. Sometimes, it still felt like one big fantasy to Kylo whenever he woke up and found the tour bus moving around him. 

“Well, we agree with you. We want the old, happy Kylo back. I think we saw that again when you were with Rey,” Mitaka told him kindly. All of them nodded along and stared at him with such compassion that Kylo had to cough and look away so that they wouldn’t see the faint blush that had begun to spread over his cheeks. The memory of the LA concert filled his head more times than he could count in the past week and it started to float back yet again.

She’d looked so goddamn beautiful with that black guitar strapped around her white tie up shirt, all long legs and tanned skin with chunky black heels to top it all off. Kylo swore he’d never seen a woman so beautiful before in his life and he knew that the moment he saw her at that very first concert in the front row. Shit, he hadn’t even wanted to perform at the Bourbon Room, but he was so glad he had gone through with it.

Kylo didn’t really like to talk about it, but after his father retired, it was hard for the man to just sit around the house and do nothing. Han had met a man named Lando Calrsissian when he toured with bands in his younger years and it turned out that Lando had retired as well only two years earlier than Han had. So when both of them reconnected and found out that an old bar was selling its space, they decided to pool together their fortune and create the Bourbon Room-- a place for rock to be celebrated for generations. 

Their dream quickly became one of the hottest places to go during the night and so many bands had gotten their start at the Bourbon Room while some of the most well known rock bands performed and shut down the entire street. So when Snoke had gotten them booked there, Kylo had been adamant at first about performing. He’d grumbled the entire drive there and drank more than he probably should have, but nothing beat how awake he suddenly became when he saw that beautiful girl in the front row.

Her chestnut colored hair, wide hazel eyes, and perfectly pink parted lips drew Kylo in faster than the fucking motorcyles he drove. And that fucking cross around her neck only made Kylo more interested. He couldn’t help but sing to her that entire night and watch her blush whenever he caught her eyes, obviously doing it intentionally after about three or four times. 

When he exited the backstage to go to the bus just ten minutes later, he’d been stunned to suddenly feel something small but sturdy smack into him and the highest British voice squeal that they were sorry. He’d held her close and stared into her doe-like eyes and knew right then and there that she was without a doubt his girl. So it was no trouble, then, when he pulled off the dog tags and put them around her neck with ease. 

Rey had yet to take them off and it made Kylo smile whenever he thought about those tags claiming her as his between those sweet little tits of hers. Fuck, her tits. It was no lie that Kylo had woken up a few times while on tour from wet dreams as her pretty cunt and perky tits plagued his mind. He would practically kill at this point to get back to her and see both of those things at this exact moment, but he reminded himself that he would be home soon and he could finally have her all to himself for the summer. 

It was Phasma that pulled him out of his thoughts and back into the present where everyone had stopped staring at him and now were turning their attention back to trying to figure out some lyrics. “So we’re obviously going to have to change boy to girl, but that can work as the chorus and then we can add another…” Phasma began to say, but Kylo was already tuning out as he realized right then and there that he was back on track to feeling genuinely happy. 

*****

Rey bit her nails anxiously and stared at the front door to her apartment as she waited. Kylo had called her only fifteen minutes ago saying the bus had landed in Hollywood and he was grabbing his motorcycle, eager to get there as fast as possible. The crowds had gone away by now for the night, allowing her to actually sleep in peace despite the fact they always came back as soon as the sun rose. 

Almost as quickly as she let her mind drift to the crowd, a knock on her door started her and Rey nearly bolted to the door, unlocking it with shaky hands and wide eyes until she met the desperate and wild face of Kylo on the other side. She barely got a second to breathe before he was barging in and picking her up in his strong arms to spin around in the kitchen. “Fuck, I missed you so much,” he breathed out before pressing his lips passionately against hers.

Rey couldn’t help but moan at the feeling of his lips against hers for the first time in weeks and when he set her back down on the floor, Rey had to fumble with the door behind her to make sure that it was locked and closed. “Kylo, Kylo…” she gasped, tilting her head back as he moved his lips away from hers and began to trail them down her neck. “You’re a fucking dream, Rey,” he growled into her neck. 

She yelped then when he bent down swiftly and reached under her thighs to yank her up and wrap them around his wide torso. Rey just held onto his leather jacket for dear life and whimpered as he started to suck dark marks into the sensitive skin there. Kylo fell against the couch only moments later with Rey straddling his lap and lips working roughly against each other.

When they finally pulled away, they were both out of breath and their pupils had dilated to an obscene size. “Sorry, I just had to touch you,” Kylo explained as he tried to get air back into his lungs. “I don’t mind at all,” Rey said back with a shy smile, nuzzling her face into his neck in an attempt to hide the blush creeping its way onto her cheeks. 

“I found your song,” Kylo stated a few seconds into her burying her nose right where his cologne seemed to be. Rey stilled, her mind going blank as she tried to recall when she had shared the song she was working on at home until she remembered she’d scribbled some lyrics into his own journal before he left. A little bit embarrassed, Rey lifted her head and nibbled on her bottom lip as she questioned softly, “Oh?”

Kylo just grinned at her and reached out to push some of her hair out of her face, his eyes drifting to the bangs she was so obviously trying to hold back with barrettes. Now that he thought about it, he didn’t know if he’d ever actually seen her with her bangs down in her face unless it was an accident, and he was suddenly desperate to take a look. Rey just blinked when he began to unsnap the hair clips, her chocolate hair falling just barely above her eyes.

It was obvious she’d been trying to grow them out, although for what reason, Kylo wasn’t sure. “I like your bangs, Rey. You’re so beautiful,” he murmured, grasping one of the short strands between his fingers to twirl them playfully. Rey ducked her head to avoid showing him her blush and tried to swat his hand away. “They’re bad and long now. You don’t have to flatter me,” she attempted to tease back. Kylo was many things, but a liar wasn’t one of them.

So he cupped her face and lifted it so those hazel eyes met his and with the warmest smile he could muster, Kylo shook his head and told her gently, “I’m being honest. I love them. You’re stunning.” Her lips parted in silent shock as she tried to search his face for any kind of deception, but she found nothing and collapsed against his chest only a second later to hug him as tightly as she could. “I missed you so much,” she breathed out, just on the verge of tears.

Her rockstar held her back just as tightly and carded his fingers through her hair as they enjoyed being in one another’s presence for what felt like hours. Of course, when they finally did pull away, Kylo tugged out the journal she’d written and handed it to her with a cocked eyebrow. “I finished it,” he told her bluntly. They both flicked their gaze down to the leather bound papers and Rey hesitantly took it from him to flip to the page she’d scribbled on before he left. 

She took a while to read through the lyrics, but it gave Kylo the perfect opportunity to admire her. She was dressed in a giant t-shirt with the name of his band plastered on the front of it, his dog tags hanging perfectly between her breasts while her long hair slipped over her shoulders to cascade down her back. Without the barrettes in, it was clear to see how overdue her bangs needed a trim, but she was still beautiful, even if they were long.

Rey’s legs were bare and straddled each side of him, curled and tanned in a way that Kylo wanted to run the palms of his hands over her lean thighs for eternity. But he held back when he let his eyes rest on her face again only to see that she was biting back a smile now while she read through the lyrics. “Kylo, this is… this is perfect,” she told him honestly, looking at him with such excitement that his heart skipped a beat inside of his chest.

“We came up with sheet music for it and everything while we were on the road. I want to record it here in LA and I want you to come with me. I want you to play the guitar,” Kylo said. Rey had been stunned many times in her life. Sure, she knew when she was younger that her mom and dad had dropped her off at the boarding school, but it wasn’t until Sister Maz explained that they weren’t ever coming back did she fully realize she’d been abandoned by her parents. That was the first instance she’d ever been stunned in her life.

This was something else entirely.

Kylo wanted her to play the guitar on a track they were recording that also happened to be semi-written by her. “Kylo, I don’t know if I can do that,” Rey breathed out with a tone that conveyed how shocked she was at the idea of even standing in a recording booth. And to make matters worse, she didn’t want to make any of the band members feel like she was replacing them. Before she could even voice that concern, however, Kylo was chuckling and reassuring her, “It was Phasma’s idea. They want you there, Rey.” 

With a sharp inhale, Rey looked around her apartment for a second as if it would tell her what to do, but it was the view of that perfect white guitar in the corner that caught her eye first and if that wasn’t a sign from God, she wasn’t sure what was. “I… okay. But I have a condition,” she finally admitted. Kylo raised an eyebrow at her in humor and rested his hands on her thighs to stroke them in a comforting way he hoped was reducing her anxiety. 

“I want to use the guitar you got me and I want you to read another song I’ve been working on.”

It was Kylo’s turn to be speechless now as he blinked at her, his eyebrows knitting up in confusion while his mouth dumbly tried to find words that would ask her what song. But she was getting off him then, grabbing one of his hands, and leading him to her bedroom where her pad of paper and pen were waiting for her at her desk. “I want you to tell me what you think,” she told him sternly, obviously trying to play brave at the fact she was literally handing a rock legend one of her first attempts at songwriting.

Kylo just closed his mouth and took the pad of paper from her when she extended it to him, slowly walking towards her bed to sit down on the edge while he read over her messy handwriting. God, he loved her handwriting. Shaking his head internally to try and focus on what she had written, Kylo began to scan the page and tap his foot along with the chords she’d drawn along with each line. 

_Fucking hell, Rey was a good songwriter,_ was the first thing that popped into his head when he reached her chorus. He couldn’t help but grin at the song she’d managed to come up with and when he reached the part where it had cut off because she ran out of inspiration, Kylo practically flung the pad of paper out of the way before grabbing her waist and tugging her onto him. 

Rey squealed with delight as he leaned back and brought her down with him, her legs straddling him once again while he pulled her into a tight embrace. “Rey Niima, you are a fucking songwriter,” he groaned into her hair as she giggled and shook her head back. “Do you like it?” she asked anxiously, pulling away to brace herself on either side of his head and bite back a grin that was threatening to envelope her face. 

Her eyes were practically sparkling with joy at what he’d said, and who was Kylo to resist kissing her with a look like that? So he pushed his hand into her hair and tugged her back down so her lips could clash passionately against his. Both of them seemed to sigh at the feeling of being back in each other’s arms with their lips pressed against each other, and it was Rey who made the first move forward from kissing as she subtly began to grind down on his lower half.

A deep and heavy moan fell out of Kylo’s throat at the action and he couldn’t help himself when he pulled a hand away from her waist and lowered it to fully engulf one of her ass cheeks. Fuck, she was so small compared to him and Kylo fucking loved it. “Oh my God, I’ve missed you so much,” Rey breathed as she pulled away from him and rested her forehead against his, grinding down a little bit rougher now while he palmed at her ass. 

“Get me out of this shirt?” she questioned fervently, abruptly pulling back so she was now sitting on his lap. With wide eyes, Kylo nodded and immediately grabbed the bottom of her Knights of Ren shirt to tug it upward and fling it across the room in one swift go. The sight of her bare upper body only made Kylo growl and flip them over so Rey was now on her back below him and he was situated comfortably between her thighs. 

He trailed his lips eagerly up her soft and toned stomach until her sweet little tits were right before his face, her pink nipples pebbled from the cold while her chest lifted and fell rapidly with how excited her breathing was. “Please,” Rey whimpered from above him, her thin fingers winding into his messy black locks to tug him pitifully towards one of her breasts that ached for attention. And well, who was Kylo to say no?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope y'all enjoyed! As always be kind in the comments xx
> 
> [My Twitter](https://twitter.com/driverdiary)  
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> 


	9. Sweet Emotion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy! xx
> 
> A/N: SMUT, LOSS OF VIRGINITY

His lips were so hot against her nipples, wet and rough and everywhere all at once. Rey was a whimpering mess below him, writhing in her sheets as she clutched his bare arms now uncovered by her frantic scramble to get rid of his leather jacket. Harsh lines of ink below his skin touched her back and when he sucked deeply onto one of her pebbled peaks, Rey clutched his arms tighter and let out a broken moan.

She was soaking her panties through the fabric, that much was true, as her thighs were already becoming slick with arousal. Her clit throbbed beneath the thin lace and she was very much aware of the way he was grinding his thigh into her wet core. “God, you’re so fucking wet for me,” Kylo growled against her flushed chest. “Please touch me, Kylo. I need your fingers,” she pleaded back to him, clawing at his black shirt to try and tug it off of him. 

He sat up faster than she could push his shirt up a few inches, but within the next second, his shirt was across the room and his full tattoo sleeves and bare chest were on display in front of her. “You’re a dream, sweetheart. A goddamn dream,” Kylo breathed in astonishment. His eyes were wide and his breathing was heavy as he raked his gaze over her nearly naked body while fiddling with the zipper and button on his jeans. 

When he finally managed to shuck off his ripped up jeans, both of them now only in their underwear, Kylo got down eagerly onto his knees at the edge of the bed and tugged Rey forward with a tiny yelp from her. “Kylo!” she scolded before her fingers fisted the sheets and a mix between a gasp and a cry escaped her lips, Kylo ripping her panties down the middle to expose her cunt to him.

His full lips pushed against her wet center only seconds later and Rey’s back was arching and lifting away from the sheets as she squeezed her eyes shut and tossed her head back. Kylo was fucking good at eating her out, that much was certain. He swirled his tongue around her aching clit before sucking it hungrily between those full lips that Rey loved so much. “Fuck, that feels so good…” she whimpered while her toes curled.

The first two fingers pushed inside after he playfully nipped at her now swollen clit, preferring to give it slow laves while he worked his middle and index finger deep inside of her. It still felt a bit uncomfortable to take something inside of her virgin walls, but Kylo was so careful with the way he thrust them in and out and curled them that any sort of ache faded within a few moments.

“You taste so good, Rey. God, I missed you so much. You’re so beautiful,” Kylo murmured against her sopping wet folds, pushing yet another finger inside of her to stretch her further. Rey felt like she was on fire. Every single nerve in her body was coursing with white hot pleasure and all she could do was lie there and take it as she yearned for more. Rey had never had sex before, but she wanted to have sex with Kylo so bad.

She’d always wondered how she would lose her virginity, if she would meet someone once she graduated and marry him and have sex after she took his last name, but it was turning out to be an entirely different story. She was about to have sex with a rockstar in her new apartment while the media attempted to get every juicy detail about her personal life just below her window.

Shoving the thoughts of paparazzi away, Rey abruptly moaned when Kylo curled his fingers deep against the soft spot within her and flicked his tongue rapidly over her clit that was slowly approaching overstimulation. “Will you come for me, Rey? Come on my fingers, sweetheart. I want to feel your tight cunt move around me,” Kylo beckoned lowly against her swollen and wet flesh. 

The tight sensation in her belly was building rapidly with each twist inside of her soft walls, her arousal dripping over his fingers and coating them in a sweet slickness that he was also lapping up with a certain keenness. “Come for me, Rey. Come on, sweet girl,” he demanded in a voice that she absolutely couldn’t refuse. The filthy sounds that came out of her soaked cunt and swollen lips tipped Rey over the edge for the first time in weeks and she came hard against his mouth.

“Fuck, _Kylo!_ ” she cried loudly, pushing herself against his mouth while his thick fingers fucked into her slow and steady. Rey writhed for a few moments underneath him, shuddering and whimpering while she rode out her climax until she had to tap out on his bare shoulder and mewl from discomfort. Kylo praised her with sweet nothings as he kissed his way back up her bare stomach and focused on her tits for a little bit while she came down. 

Rey was floating on cloud nine. 

She figured he was so good with his fingers because he played guitar all of his life, but she couldn’t really ponder on it for too long because his lips were back on hers with a much slower urgency that seemed to convey they both were a little hesitant about what to do next. “Do you want me to stop tonight? Just say so and I can-”

“No. I… I want to have sex,” Rey cut him off, pulling away so she could cup the sides of his face and stare into his chocolate eyes. Kylo blinked at her words, not seeming to comprehend at first what exactly Rey was saying. “You want to have sex?” he echoed back to her. She nibbled on her bottom lip and nodded, wrapping her arms around his neck to tug him down and press her mouth against his once more.

They languidly kissed for a while, their tongues and lips slotting together perfectly like pieces of a puzzle, until Rey moved her hands lower and tried to push his boxer-briefs down. She could feel Kylo grin against her lips and he took mercy on her poor attempts rather quickly, pulling himself away to shuck them down himself and toss them to join the other clothes scattered on the floor and finally reveal his naked body to her.

Rey was… stunned.

He was big. _Very_ big. Thick and flushed pink at the tip, veins ran along the length of his cock and twitched ever so slightly below the pale flesh. There was a small bead of clear fluid that had gathered on the tip of his pulsing cock and Rey couldn’t manage to hold herself back when she hesitantly reached out and wiped off the small amount of pre-cum to settle it on her tongue immediately after.

Salty, but not overbearing, Rey flicked her hazel eyes up to Kylo’s only to find that his pupils had gone dark and heady with lust. He was falling over her then, pressing his lips desperately against hers. 

His cock slotted perfectly over her stomach, it’s hot and heavy weight a constant pressure against her own warmed skin from the physical contact they had. His pre-cum left behind a sticky trail on her skin and the soft moan that fell from her lips testified that she loved the feeling of it, obviously wanting more.

“Please, Kylo… I need you,” she breathed heavily, raking her nails down his exposed back as he slowly rocked his hips against her and slid his tortured cock between their stomachs. “I’m going to go slow. If this hurts, you need to tell me, Rey,” Kylo told her seriously, pulling back up to brace himself with one hand by the side of her head as the other cupped her blushing cheek.

She already looked thoroughly fucked, her lips swollen from kissing and eyelids drowsy from her last orgasm. Even her hair was strewn in a perfectly imperfect way across the pillows, like a chestnut halo that even shimmered beneath the lights of her bedroom. Rey just bit her lip and nodded, both of them flicking their eyes down as Rey drew her knees up to expose her cunt to him while Kylo shuffled back so he could run his cock through her sopping wet folds.

Rey shivered a little at the feeling of how thick his length was right up against her wet entrance, and quickly asked, “Do we need a condom?” as he coated himself in her arousal. “I’m clean. Kinda mandatory when you’re on the road. Weekly health screenings and all. I can put one on, though, if it would make you more comfortable,” Kylo told her, his chocolate eyes filled with truth and nothing but desire to please her.

She just shook her head and traced a fingertip down his jaw before whispering, “No. I want to feel you, Kylo.” There was a pregnant pause between them, both of them just sharing each other’s breath until Kylo pressed the tip of his cock a little firmer against her tight entrance and began to push inside. Rey’s breath hitched at the initial feeling of the breech to her innocence, but she pulled Kylo close against her and squeezed her eyes shut while he ever so carefully began to push inside of her. 

A soft whimper escaped from her lips at the feeling of the stretch alone. Her cunt throbbed to accommodate the width of his length and stung a little when another inch slowly sunk inside of her. Kylo’s fingers were big, that much was certain, but what he was thrusting inside of her now was much different. “Breathe for me, Rey. You’re doing so well, sweetheart,” Kylo assured her gently.

She nodded with a slight mewl of pain as he reached the barrier within her that would finally break and solidify that she was no longer a virgin. Kylo seemed to understand that he had brushed against her hymn as the slight resistance stopped him from thrusting all the way inside of her and they locked eyes in a knowing gaze, both of them a little nervous, but also more than ready. 

“Please,” Rey begged softly, lifting her mouth to meet his and kiss him deeply as a distraction while Kylo gave more of an urgent drive forward inside of her. The muffled yelp that filled both of their mouths came from her and her legs instinctively tightened around him while her fingers dug deeper into his skin. Kylo stilled immediately, their mouths frozen as well as both of them adjusted to the fact he’d just done what no other man had to her. 

The tilt of her hips to push against his was the signal he could keep going and Kylo gently continued to thrust himself inside until he bottomed out and was buried deep within her velvety and wet walls. “Fuck, Rey, you’re so tight,” he groaned, pulling away from her mouth so he could bury his face into the crook of her neck and plant comforting kisses against her warm skin. 

“I can feel you… everywhere…” Rey breathed, her eyes drowsy with lust and assaulted lips puffy from how many times they had been slotted against her. His throbbing cock was so fucking deep, a dull ache had bloomed over her cervix and she swore that if she put the palm of her hand over her lower belly, she’d be able to feel the tip of his length nestled just so beneath her taught skin.

Kylo withdrew slowly, still keeping a careful pace with her while Rey moaned softly and clutched his back. When he looked down to watch himself pull out of her, something twisted in his stomach at the sight of pink tinged with clear fluid covering his cock. “Please, Kylo… I need you,” Rey whimpered below him. Her slender fingers tangled deep into his wild hair and without any further hesitation, Kylo pushed himself back inside to the hilt. 

Rey sighed at the feeling of being filled with his cock, so thick and heavy inside of her while her sopping wet walls clenched around him at all angles. He groaned into her ear at the feeling of her cunt squeezing him and began to drive into her a little harder, desperate to hear her sighs and mewls of pleasure. “Fuck, _yes,_ Kylo…” she moaned with a wretched voice, her high pitched tone cracking while she held onto him for dear life.

“So fucking tight, Rey. So good for me, sweetheart,” he praised her. His hips rocked against hers while Rey lifted her legs to wrap them around his torso, drawing him in closer so his cock could continue to hit her cervix that left a glorious ache and more slick slipping out between her thighs. Rey was slowly turning into a disheveled mess below him.

Her bangs had started to stick to her forehead as soft sounds of absolute bliss fell from her rosy lips again and again. The feeling of his solid and heavy chest pressing against her tits only added more to the sensations her body was feeling and when Kylo shifted his weight above her to make everything a little bit more comfortable, his cock hit something so tender that Rey’s vision whited out from pure pleasure.

“ _Kylo!_ Fuck, yes!” she practically wailed, arching her back away from the bed as she clawed at his heated skin and pushed herself down against his cock to get as much of it as she possibly could inside of her. “Fucking hell, Rey. Such a good girl. So fucking good,” Kylo growled, finally moving his head from her neck back to her lips so he could devour her sounds while he picked up the pace to something a bit more brutal.

Sweat was starting to mat his inky hair to his skin while Rey’s back had fallen back down to the bed and glued itself to the sheets. Frantic sounds of pleasure and desire filled the room along with skin slapping against skin in a frenzied pace. His cock was buried so deep inside of her that Rey wasn’t even sure he was pulling out anymore to slam back inside of her, but each thrust of her body up the sheets and towards the pillows convinced her that he was indeed fucking her into the bed.

The tight sensation in her lower stomach was starting to build again and Rey knew she was going to cum soon dude to the fact his cock was brushing up against that bundle of nerves within her over and over. “I’m gonna come, Kylo, oh my God…” she whimpered into his neck, burying her face into his flushed skin as she clung to his body.

“That’s it, Rey. Come for me. Wanna feel your sweet cunt come around my cock,” he spewed filthily into her ear. Something about his dirty talk pushed her closer and closer to the edge, and when Kylo lifted one hand to reach between them and start rolling the pads of his fingers on her clit, Rey’s legs began to quiver horribly around him. “Come for me, sweetheart. So good,” Kylo begged slowly.

Within the next second, Rey’s eyes were squeezing shut as her mouth flew wide open in a silent scream. Pure ecstasy coursed through her veins as she tipped over the edge and came hard around his cock. Her cunt pulsed around him and she scratched his back in desperation, trying to cling onto him with everything she had while she rode out her first orgasm from sex. 

Kylo was murmuring things into her hair as she came down, twitching in the sheets and gasping for air while he continued to thrust inside of her. “I’m gonna come, Rey. Do you want me to-”

“Come in me. Please. I’m on birth control, Kylo,” she begged, suddenly thankful that all of the Sisters had supported its use despite the fact they were a Catholic school. Her rockstar just groaned at what she said while Rey tightened her fingers in his hair and moaned softly until Kylo gave one final push inside of her before stilling with a low growl. Kylo buried his lips just below her jaw, sucking dark marks into her skin while his cock pulsed within her.

Gushes of hot cum filled Rey until her cunt couldn’t take anymore and the sticky white substance began to leak out around him. He withdrew when they’d both officially made their way back to a dazed state, then pulled himself out with a sigh. “Jesus Christ, that was fucking heavenly,” he panted, rolling over next to her only to pull her against his chest within the next second. 

Rey just moaned quietly in agreement as she wrapped an arm around his chest and draped one of her legs over his lower body. For a while, they just rested there in one another’s presence, watching the ceiling fan spin around and around to cool off their overheated bodies. “Thank you,” Rey whispered out of the blue. Kylo turned his head to meet her hazy eyes, a faint smile tugging at the corners of her lips already. 

“For what?” he challenged, grinning back to her while he ran his fingers through her brunette locks. Rey paused for a moment, mulling over exactly how to say it, but finally nestled her head against his chest and sighed out dreamily, “For being my first.” 

*****

The next morning was filled with soft sounds of comfort and tangled limbs. At some point during the night, Kylo had pulled the covers over them and draped her entire body on top of him, his bare arms wrapped around her loosely while he breathed slowly and deeply. Rey had been awake for nearly ten minutes, observing his face with a fond smile as she pushed back some of his unruly black hair. Rey felt like the luckiest girl in the world at that moment. 

There was a pleasant soreness between her legs that she didn’t mind one bit, and the feeling of his chest against hers soothed in her a way she never would have imagined. Their heartbeats had become synced together within the span of a few minutes and the steady rhythm between both of them only made her smile harder. When she started to trace the shape of his lips with her fingers, however, he twitched in his sleep and slowly started to come to with a heavy sigh and fluttering eyelids.

Those beautiful chocolate eyes of his eased open and blinked away sleep to lock with hers and Kylo’s cheeky grin that followed made Rey giggle and bury her face into his chest to hide her blush. “Good morning, beautiful,” he greeted with a deep morning voice that sent shivers all the way through Rey’s body. “Good morning, handsome,” she murmured back, pressing a kiss to his bare skin while he threaded his fingers through her messy hair. 

“How are you feeling?” he asked softly. Rey shifted her legs a little bit, trying to feel around for how her lower half was feeling, and moaned when a dull ache shot back up her body. “Sore. Definitely sore,” she groaned as she moved some more in an attempt to loosen up her body so it would get used to the subtle pain. The rockstar just pressed a sweet kiss to the top of her forehead before gently pulling out from underneath her while she sunk back into the sheets.

Rey frowned, her stomach immediately sinking at the thought he was about to grab his clothes and leave. Rose had told her that men did that sometimes-- talked to a girl just to sleep with them and then leave as soon as they got what they wanted. But Kylo just pulled his briefs on and turned to look at her before questioning, “Do you mind if I make us some breakfast? I don’t want you to have to get up if you don’t have to.” 

All anxieties she had disappeared almost as rapidly as they came and were replaced with butterflies fluttering around inside of her stomach. “Yes, please,” she agreed, trying to bite back a smile and blush as he nodded kindly and turned back around to head in the direction of the kitchen. 

Rey stretched herself out when he was gone from the bedroom, savoring the ache and rush of satisfaction that came from extending her muscles, before letting out a content sigh and cuddling back into the warm sheets.

The rest of the morning was filled with smiles, laughing, playing around, and shoving food into each other’s mouths while paparazzi began to grow below her window while the sun came up. By the time they demolished the breakfast of pancakes, eggs, and toast Kylo had made, the shouts up at her window for her to come out had gotten loud enough that they could both hear it. “How long has that been going on?” Kylo asked, sucking some syrup off of his thumb that had managed to get there.

Rey shrugged sadly and avoided eye contact, not sure if she really wanted to spoil the perfect morning she was sharing with him. But if she really wanted a relationship with this man, she had to open up and be honest with him. “They’ve been here since the first newspaper came out. I’ve mostly just turned on my records to drown it out,” she admitted quietly. 

One of his fingers reached out to gently push the bottom of her chin up, tilting her head back so she could meet his eyes that still held the same amount of adoration as they had for the rest of the morning. “If you’re okay with it… I think now might be a good time for us to come out together as public,” he told her with such a caring tone that Rey couldn’t hold back the tears starting to grow within her eyes. 

“You want to go public? Still…?” she questioned nervously. Kylo nodded with a smile and slowly moved forward to press his lips against hers, the kiss so tender and filled with devotion that Rey had to cup the side of his face to keep him against her mouth so she could savor it. “I want everyone to know I have such a beautiful, amazing woman as my girlfriend,” Kylo said firmly. 

_Girlfriend._

Rey had never in a million years thought she would be the girlfriend to a rockstar. She always thought she’d end up marrying a church man and live a rather regular life if she was being honest. She figured she would get her job as a teacher, have a few kids, cook dinner for her husband, and fall asleep always wondering what could have been. Now, she was about to publicly be called the lead singer of the Knights of Ren’s girlfriend. 

If she was staring off into space, she didn’t realize it until Kylo chuckled and snapped his fingers in front of her face. “Earth to Rey. You okay? We don’t have to if you don’t want to,” he quickly smoothed, trying not to pressure her considering they’d already done something that she’d never done before just hours earlier. Rey quickly shook her head and pushed a nervous hand through her bangs that she suddenly very much wanted to cut back to an acceptable length and leave alone.

“No, I want to. I want to tell them we’re together,” she stated sternly, lifting her eyes to meet his with a determination that seemed to surprise him as he raised an eyebrow in amusement and nodded. “Well how about we open that window of yours and let them know?” Kylo suggested with a smirk that could only be described as mischievous considering they were both still completely in the nude, his briefs gone yet again when he returned to the bedroom with breakfast. 

He didn’t have to tell her twice. With adrenaline pumping through her veins and a grin that took up the majority of her face, Rey clasped her hand around Kylo’s and tugged him off of the bed in the direction of the window where she quickly unlocked it and pushed it up. 

Still protective, however, Kylo wrapped his strong arms around her chest to cover her tits as they both leaned out the window and allowed the media below to spot them.

“There they are!” someone shouted excitedly from below and then it was a frenzy of screaming and camera flashes as Rey and Kylo laughed at the crazed reaction from desperate news sources. “Hey, assholes!” Kylo yelled down to them, catching their attention as they all went quiet and eagerly placed their pens to the small pads of paper clutched around white knuckles from anticipation.

“Do you mind giving my girlfriend and I some fucking privacy? It’s hard to dishevel her when all I can hear is your fucking screaming!” he cheered, both of them pulling away from the window as soon as he was done in a fit of laughter. “Oh my God, Kylo!” Rey squealed, shoving her face into his chest in an attempt to hide her embarrassment. He just held her tightly and told her humorously, “I wish I could say I’m sorry… but I’m really not.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope y'all enjoyed! As always, be kind in the comments xx


	10. Highway to Hell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy! xx  
> This is kinda a filler chapter to set up for things about to happen in the future (;
> 
> UPDATE: I will not be posting on Wednesday this week. I am crammed with school work due to the fact all of my uni professors have decided to to make it a 'let's shit on holly' week. I apologize for the inconvenience, but will still update on Sunday as scheduled.

Snoke touched his wounded nose and growled at the pain that radiated through his face as a result. The rockstar had decked him better than he ever thought the boy could and pulled away his hand in anger. It was very obviously broken, but he’d decided to finish out the tour with his face colored purple instead of seeking immediate medical attention. Now that it was over, though, he could finally see to it that it would be fixed. 

It was all that fucking Catholic girl’s fault. 

When he’d seen that newspaper for the first time with her on the back of Kylo’s motorcycle and the media going crazy for it, he’d nearly smashed all of the framed records that took up the space on the walls within his personal bus. The last thing he needed was his main source of income getting a woman that was going to distract him from writing songs and selling albums. He needed a fucking singer, not a sappy excuse for a boy.

That’s why he felt no remorse tracking her down with whatever personal connections he could manage to get together. Someone had left a tip that the girl shopped frequently with another younger girl at record shops and with that information alone, Snoke had been able to track both of them back to Chandrila Catholic boarding school when a picture of the two girls was tacked up on the returning customers wall by the checkout desk at the record store.

The nuns had been kind enough to tell him that Rey had moved out when he lied easily through his teeth explaining he was interested in hiring her, and with that, he had found her new apartment that was nothing compared to the luxury he and his rockstar lived in. Snoke would admit it, she was a fierce thing when she opened that door and slammed it on him only a few minutes later with the threat to call the cops, but it was obvious from that alone that she wouldn’t stop seeing Kylo.

So it came to no surprise that Snoke had given all the information he’d gathered about Rey Niima to all of the most important news sources in Hollywood and let them run wild with it. What he didn’t expect, however, was for Kylo to scream to the news sources that had bombarded her apartment that they were a couple and then shelter away for the next couple of days while the media typed up wild guesses of what was going on between the two of them.

His first plan hadn’t turned out how he initially wanted, so all that was left was to try another idea. If he couldn’t hurt their relationship from the outside, he was going to hurt it from the inside. A devilish smirk spread across his face, and this time, Snoke ignored the singing pain that came from his nose. 

*****

Rey leaned against Kylo’s broad chest and closed her eyes with content. A guitar sat lounged across her lap while Kylo braided her hair, a skill she was determined to ask him about later. It wasn’t like most men knew how to knot hair in a perfect pattern. Hell, it wasn’t like she knew how to do it either. Rey fiddled with the strings lazily and sighed when he tugged on her hair in a way that she liked.

It had been a peaceful couple of days with her boyfriend-- she’d have to get used to that-- back home from tour. They’d messed around and wrote more songs that definitely weren’t cut out to be actual songs, but it had been wonderful to see both of their writing processes and stupidly play the guitar. That being said, they had finished the song Rey had started writing on her own and Kylo had told her he wanted to actually make it.

Nothing had filled her heart with more warmth than to know he thought her song was genuinely good. They’d been trying to work on another one that could actually go on an album, but Rey had gotten tired about an hour in and asked if he could play with her hair instead. So now they were just lounging around while the screams of the media below her window continued on to no avail. If anything, the crowd had just gotten bigger since Kylo had come back.

Rey had called Rose a few times over the past couple of days to hear what the papers were staying, considering she and her rockstar weren’t leaving the apartment, and it seemed like all everyone was talking about was Catholic girl Rey Niima and rock legend Kylo Ren. And while Rose had happily reported most of the media was extremely into it, wanting to know how exactly their relationship was working since they were so different, other sources detested it.

Rose told her that as upset as Sister Maz had been upon hearing the news that Rey and Rose had snuck out to actually meet the star, and that Rey had started dating him, she’d ultimately become more concerned about Rey’s safety as opposed to the fact she was with someone the school wouldn’t prefer for her to be with. Apparently Sister Maz wanted to see her and make sure that she was okay, but Rey told her best friend that she would have to wait until the paparazzi had gone away.

At this point, however, she was unsure that would ever happen. She never expected people to swarm the outside of her apartment, desperate to get information about her, but it was suddenly coming to her realization that being associated with Kylo brought consequences. That being said, she wasn’t about to leave him just because people were outside with a camera trying to catch pictures of them.

“Can I ask you a question?” Rey hummed, still with her eyes closed as she loosely picked at the strings of her electric. “Anything,” Kylo confirmed. Rey mulled it over internally, trying to figure out how exactly to phrase her question as she thought of the night they met. “Why did you keep looking and singing at me at the concert we met at?” she finally questioned.

If Kylo was affected by her question, he didn’t seem to show it as he continued to calmly braid her hair and lay back. “Well, I didn’t really want to perform that night if I can be honest with you. But then I walked on that stage and saw your wide eyes and bright smile and I couldn’t help but sing to you. And when you bumped into me outside, I knew I had to see you again. I still have to thank your friend for telling me where you were, though.”

Rey giggled a little as she remembered Rose asking him to sign her tits and then casually dropping where they were staying before they ran away to get back home. “Well, I’m glad I caught your eye. Why didn’t you want to perform that night? Long day on the road or something?” she asked nonchalantly. A lone white feather drifted down from somewhere in the room and landed on the guitar strings and Rey quickly flicked it away as she waited.

Kylo sighed at the question and Rey could tell whatever she just asked obviously had shifted the atmosphere in the room. “My dad co-owns the Bourbon Room,” Kylo finally admitted tensely. Rey stopped fiddling with the guitar strings and turned around to face him as he avoided her eyes and spun the clunky rings resting around his fingers. “I don’t think Rose and I saw your dad that night,” she told him softly, not trying to press too harshly.

He shook his head with a humorless laugh and brought his sad looking eyes up so he could gaze upon her concerned face. “No. He knew that I was coming and hid out in his office while Lando did all of the introductions. I don’t really speak to my parents anymore,” Kylo told her. Rey cocked her head to the side, hoping he might open up a little bit more about it, but he just pressed his lips into a thin line and went quiet.

Figuring the best way to get him to open up was for her to open up first, Rey set the guitar carefully to the side and crossed her legs so she could give him all of her attention. “I’m an orphan. A lot of the girls that went to Chandrila with me have families that they could visit during Christmas or summer or just on the weekends, but I didn’t have that. My parents left me on the doorstep of the boarding school when I was five and didn’t come back.

“Chandrila isn’t an orphanage, obviously, but they decided to take me in and take care of me as if I was one of their own. I didn’t really understand that I had been left behind by my parents until I got older and realized that I wasn’t going home or talking to a mom or dad. Rose and the nuns became my family and it’s been that way since I was young. I don’t know what it’s like to have issues with family, not really, so I’m sorry if I’ve just hit a nerve with you,” she told him honestly. 

Kylo blinked at what she said and shook his head, reaching out to abruptly take her into his arms and pull her into his lap. “I’m sorry, Rey. I had no idea,” the rockstar murmured into her neck. Rey just laughed lightly and pulled away with a soft smile. “Kylo… it’s okay. I found a family who loves me and even though it hurts sometimes to know I was left behind, I found people who’ve chosen to stay. I’m okay, I promise.”

He was quiet for a long time before he tore his gaze away from her and reached for her shiny white guitar, staring hard and long at the thing as if he was memorizing every single detail. Rey had just about given up hope discovering anything about Kylo’s father when he said softly, and out of the blue, “My name is Ben.” Her heart stopped beating in her chest and he still didn’t meet her eyes, continuing to work at the strings.

Rey swallowed thickly and waited for him to go on-- this man she was convinced was actually named Kylo.  _ Fuck, had she been moaning the wrong name during sex?  _ “My father’s name is Han Solo,” Kylo clarified, flicking his eyes up to hers so he could see the exact moment she realized that his dad was the famous guitar player that had traveled and performed for legendary bands. Rey just pressed her lips together and nodded in acknowledgment, giving him the floor to open up.

“My mother is Leia Organa, and I’m going to assume you know her too,” he continued on. Rey nodded once more without saying a word. “Ever since I was little, I was surrounded by music. I got sheet music constantly from my uncle who hung around the house more often than my father ever did. He and my mother were separated at birth, but when they found each other again, they were pretty much inseparable. 

“My father was the first one who introduced me to guitar. I can still remember how fond his face was when he watched me pluck those horribly out of tune strings for the first time,” Kylo laughed fondly, a distant and hazy gloss covering his eyes in a way meant only for recalling memories that stuck with the heart. Rey reached out and silently took his hand in hers, offering him a quiet support that he didn’t know he needed until he felt her touch.

“I got older and my father wasn’t around much. My mother wanted to produce my band and I’s music, but she had all these ideas about changing us. She was telling us that pop music was the future, something about being ahead of the time when the 80s came around, but we wanted to make rock music. We had disagreements all the time and she told us she’d only produce us if we did the idea she wanted.

“Well when my dad finally retired and I left high school, we just kind of… went our separate ways. Phasma, Mitaka, Hux, and I… we all signed the best offered contract, which happened to be Snoke, and then we were on tour buses in the next instant. I never really talked to my parents after I left and now that I think about it… I don’t know if I ever talked to them since I told them we’d been signed and I was leaving,” Kylo finished, his voice dying off with a certain sadness Rey hated to see.

She squeezed his hand with hers and reached out to brush some of his long black hair away from his handsome face. Chocolate clashed with hazel, and as soft and supportive as possible, Rey questioned, “Do you want to reach out to them?” Her rockstar blinked a few times, as if he’d never been asked that question before, but after a few shallow breaths, Kylo let out a heavy sigh and nodded.

“Yeah, I… I think I want to.” 

They sat there in a comforting quiet for a short while until Kylo shook his head and reached out to tug Rey onto his lap with a humored chuckle. “You’re bringing out the best in me, Rey, and I’m not fucking used to it,” he admitted as he buried his face into her neck and wrapped his arms around her bare back. One advantage of being stuck in her apartment was they didn’t have to technically put on clothes… 

“Oh? Is that so? Because you certainly bring out some very different things in me,” Rey tried to tease back, shifting her hands so she could tug his head back after she wound them in his wiry locks. Kylo’s eyes darkened when they met her and in the next instant, Rey was being rolled over onto her back with her boyfriend hovering over her.

Rey had lost track of how much sex they’d had since she lost her virginity, if she was being completely honest. He’d fucked her on the kitchen counter while she whined and left a puddle of arousal behind, he’d fucked her on the couch where she’d

screamed his name loud enough that the neighbors actually banged on the walls, and he’d fucked her more times in the shower than she could count until they figured out a way to perfect having sex in such an awkward space. 

And now? Now she was going to get fucked for the millionth time in the bed they were slowly starting to call home.

*****

Phasma knocked on Kylo’s door for the millionth time and let out a frustrated sigh when no answer came. “He’s not home. Just get the key so we can go in and get the sheet music he asked us to work on,” Mitaka complained, leaning against the wall tiredly while Hux cocked an eyebrow at Phasma with a look that said he agreed with the drummer. So Phasma sighed and reached up to the top of the door frame, running her fingers along it until the key landed in her hand.

“Alright, we get in and then we get out. No snooping. He’s probably still with Rey so let’s just get out after we get the sheet music,” Phasma told each of her friends before turning back to the door. She unlocked it swiftly and stepped inside, already heading in the direction of his bedroom where he kept all of the sheet music locked away in one of his dresser drawers.

There had been multiple occasions where Phasma had to rifle through his drawers when he was blacked for sheet music he drunkenly said he’d been working on, but she could never exactly remember which one it was and he always seemed to move it every single time she thought she knew which drawer to open. As far as she was concerned, however, it wasn’t like he could scold her since he was holed away with his new girlfriend.

It felt strange to think that her best friend had a girlfriend, especially with the lifestyle he seemed to enjoy more than any of them. Just months ago, he’d practically grab the first girl that flung herself at him and then have his way with her until he was ready for a new one the next day. Now, he was hiding away with the last girl in the world anyone thought he would be with.

But Phasma liked it. A lot. 

Rey had been such a sweet girl when they first met at that LA concert and when she’d rocked out on the guitar, it was certain that Phasma and the rest of the band mates agreed that Rey seemed like a good person for Kylo. That being said, she didn’t really know as much about the girl as she would like to, but she figured she would find out much more the longer that Rey hung around with Kylo.

Shaking her head so she could focus on the task she’d come for, Phasma scolded the two boys already slowly heading in the direction of Kylo’s alcohol in his kitchen while she headed straight for his bedroom. Of course, the man had two nightstands and one long dresser opposite his bed, so Phasma just sighed and began to rifle through all the drawers she could pull out. 

It wasn’t until she reached the second to last nightstand did something catch her eye. Phasma had closed the drawer but paused before moving to the next one, frowning and furrowing her eyebrows as she tried to come to terms with why she’d just stuttered in her brain functioning. Cautiously, Phasma reached back for the previous drawer and pulled it out again only for her blood to turn cold.

Filled almost to the brim with pills and powders, Phasma stared at the copious amount of drugs within the drawer as well as a few expensive liquor bottles that rolled slowly to the front. Swallowing thickly, Phasma reached out and grabbed the first orange bottle and read the word  _ Oxycontin _ along the side of it. Another one said  _ Hydrocodone. Xanax, Adderall, _ and  _ Valium  _ appeared a few times as well.

Small sized bags filled with a pure white power drifted around behind the pills along with a green plant that Phasma was very familiar with. The expensive bottles were mostly whiskey, but vodka also seemed to be common as well. Phasma hadn’t realized she’d been staring in mortification at what she’d found until Hux and Mitaka walked into the room and asked in boredom, “Did you find it yet, Phasma?”

She jumped a little at their voices, zoning out enough that she hadn’t heard them enter, and dropped the pill bottles in her hands while doing so. Everyone’s eyes drifted to what she dropped and for a while, the entire room went absolutely silent. “Is that…?” Hux didn’t even finish his question, cautiously walking forward while his lips parted in shock.

Phasma nodded her head, not daring to say anything as she picked the pills back up and extended them to Mitaka who suddenly walked over and took the orange container gently from her hand to read the label. “This is Oxycontin. This is heavy pain medication,” he clarified for the others. “Why the fuck does Kylo have this many prescription medications in his fucking room?” Phasma asked, starting to panic.

She rose to her feet and frantically ran her hands through her short hair as her breathing started to quicken. “He’s fucking addicted, isn’t he? Jesus Christ, he’s got more coke in here than all of California. Phasma, he needs fucking help! We need to get him to rehab!” Hux demanded, turning around to face his friend as his own temper began to rise.

How could they have been so stupid? How could they not see that he was a fucking alcoholic and a drug addict? They’d heard horror stories of rock stars losing their memories from drug consumption, or even overdosing because of it, but had they really wanted to pretend their friend was okay so much that they ignored any sign of him not being alright at all?   


“He’s with Rey,” Mitaka told both of them, apparently the only calm one as he carefully put the pill bottles back in the drawer and closed it quietly. The two guitarists turned to look at him as he walked over to Kylo’s empty bed and sat down on the edge. “We all know that Rey’s been bombarded by the media and we all know that Kylo and her came out that they were dating. They’re together in her apartment right now, away from all of… this.”

His friends’ faces scrunched up, half in confusion and half in disbelief. “Are you saying that we just  _ ignore _ this again? Dopheld, he has more fucking drugs in that drawer alone than a pharmacy down the street would have!” Hux shouted, throwing his hand in the direction of the drawer before angrily shaking his head and looking away. Mitaka frowned and held up his palms to show he meant no harm with what he was going to say.

“No. I’m not saying we ignore this. What I  _ am _ saying is that we let him have time with Rey. We let them enjoy being with each other and when things settle down to the point Kylo comes out, either with or without her, we confront him and put him in rehab. I’m done saying until next time. I mean it. When he comes out of his break with Rey, we get him the help he fucking needs,” Mitaka stated firmly. 

The tension in the air was thick, but everyone solemnly nodded when they realized it was time to actually get their friend help. No more pushing it off the next time they saw it. No, next time, they’d confront him about what they’d found and they’d know exactly where to take him. “Do you think it’s a good idea then that we give him time with Rey? Isn’t that just a continuation of ‘next time’?” Phasma asked sadly.

Mitaka rose from the bed and placed a comforting hand on his friend’s shoulder. “Let them have some time to themselves. This might be the last time they get to see each other before we get him to rehab,” Mitaka explained. Everyone nodded yet again, uncertain of what exactly the future held for the band and their best friend, but they had work to do if they wanted to make sure Kylo even had a future. 

*****

Rey was deliciously sore and sopping wet as Kylo shoved his cock into her still tight cunt with a hiss of pleasure. “You feel so fucking good, Rey. So goddamn tight,” he groaned from behind her, his hands gripping the sides of her hips while he snapped his hips against her ass with a brutal rhythm that had her seeing stars while she clutched the sheets. “Yes, Kylo, please…” she managed to whimper, dropping her head as she arched her back more so he would hit deeper.

His cock pushed against that sensitive bundle of nerves buried deep inside of her and Rey cried his name loudly, throwing her head back with a wide mouth and white knuckles. Kylo didn’t hesitate to grab her hair and tug it back, bringing her up to the palms of her hands instead of down on her forearms. “Such a good girl for me, aren’t you? So fucking beautiful with my cock buried inside of you,” he continued to dirty talk.

Rey mewled at the praise and felt pleasure building inside of her stomach, already getting so close to coming around his cock even though he’d just pulled an orgasm from her only ten minutes ago when he fucked her with his fingers. Kylo’s dog tags flailed wildly between her breasts along with her cross, but Rey could care less about the clinking mixed with heavy breaths and moans. 

“Fuck, Rey, I’m close,” Kylo groaned, letting go of her hair so he could press between her shoulderblades and curve her back yet again to increase the pace of his thrusts. “I’m gonna fucking come…” she whimpered, closing her eyes as she panted into the bed and took his blows one after the other while her cunt clenched with pleasure. He grunted at the feeling of her walls squeezing him and within seconds, hot spend filled her body and Rey tipped over the edge at the feeling.

They came together, one with a high pitched cry and the other with a low growl, but both of them seemed to deflate with pleasure into a tangled pile of limbs and kissing. “You’re so fucking perfect, Rey,” Kylo murmured when he pulled her into his arms and leaned against her pillows contently. “I think you’re getting me confused with you,” Rey giggled back.

Her rockstar shook his head and grinned as she snuggled up against him, only one of them knowing just how wrong about that she was. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope y'all enjoyed! As always, be kind in the comments xx


	11. Don't Stop Believin'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy! xx
> 
> Sorry for not updating Wednesday. As I mentioned in the previous chapter, I had a lot of work for uni that had to be done.

When Rey woke six days after Kylo had come home and taken her virginity, her lower half deliciously sore for about a week, it was to the sound of complete silence. She slowly sat up from bed and rubbed her eyes, looking around her completely ruined bedroom that hadn’t been picked up after the copious amounts of sex they’d had. And when her eyes landed on her window, she realized that it was the sounds of the paparazzi that were missing.

Rey glanced at Kylo who was still asleep next to her, his stomach facing down while he buried his face in the pillow and cuddled it against him with his arms. She smiled fondly at the sight and brushed back some of his inky hair before looking at the window once more. With a nervous bite at her bottom lip, Rey carefully removed herself from the bed and grabbed a blanket just barely hanging on the edge of her sheets to wrap around her nude body.

The sun streamed through her curtains and settled a golden glow on her skin as she walked forward only to cautiously pull back one of the white curtains they’d put up to peer down at the sidewalk. Her heart skipped a beat at the sight of absolutely no one down there, the walkway empty except for the occasional stroller or shopper. 

A sharp gasp escaped her mouth at the understanding the media had finally left her alone and they could actually leave the apartment. Part of her was thankful due to the fact they needed to get groceries and actually face the world again while the other part of her savored hiding away with her handsome rockstar who was still crashed in bed. Rey giggled a little at the sight and turned back around right as he started to stir.

“Did I wake you up?” she whispered adoringly while she sat back down on the bed and watched him roll over to set his eyes upon her. “No, I was already awake for a while until I felt you get up,” Kylo admitted with a smug grin. Rey lightly slapped his arm and rose from the bed once more, jerking her head in the direction of the window. “Come look,” she prompted excitedly. 

He frowned in confusion before his entire expression changed to that of absolute shock when it registered that no screaming was coming from below. The rockstar practically bolted up from the bed, racing in the direction of the window to throw it open and stick his head out. “Holy shit,” Kylo stated bluntly, tearing away from the sill to glance back at her for confirmation.

“We can go outside,” Rey agreed, squealing and yelping when he abruptly grabbed her and spun her around in the air. “Holy fuck, we’re going outside immediately,” Kylo agreed, setting her back down so he could press his lips against hers. 

It was a scramble then for clothes as Rey bolted to her closet and grabbed the first bootcut jeans she could find and a black bodysuit that showed off whatever breasts she liked to think she had with a deep V.

Due to the fact she’d updated her wardrobe, and thankfully bought some oversized band tees, Kylo was actually able to fit into one of the shirts that displayed his own band name. He grimaced a little, but decided it was better than the dirty shirt that had been crumpled in the corner of the room for days. His ripped up jeans would have to do, however, and they decided the first place they would go would be his apartment.

Excitedly, they slipped on shoes with wide grins and laughs and Kylo slung a heavy arm around her shoulders as Rey ruffled out her bangs to put them on full display and fiddled with the dog tags still around her neck. The two of them eagerly bound down the stairs of the apartment complex, but hesitated just before going outside. “Are you sure it’s safe?” Rey questioned nervously, trying to peek over his shoulder out of the large glass windows at the front of the building.

Kylo just squeezed her hand reassuringly and walked to the front doors, pushing them open to expose the barren sidewalk, except for a few lone people that were going about their days. Rey swallowed thickly, but ultimately was the one to make the first move as she tugged on Kylo’s hand and stepped outside. They kept their heads low as they walked to the motorcycle, amazingly still parked in the street parking spaces, no one seeming to have touched it.

The rockstar pulled the key out from the pocket of his jeans, never having removed it, and swung his leg over the bike only to start the engine a second later with a pleased grin. “That’s more like it,” he teased, looking over at Rey who was still shifting her weight on the sidewalk. She couldn’t hold back for long though, a face splitting smile erupting before she hopped onto the motorcycle as well and wrapped her arms around his waist.

With a few revs that had Rey giggling like a maniac, she rested her head against his back and tightened her grip around him when the bike lurched forward out of nowhere and tore off in the direction of his apartment. The closer they got to the city, the more attention they started to get as they drove down the busy streets. 

People walking along the sidewalks with shopping bags and purses and instrument cases and the likes all seemed to stare as the couple sped past on the bike, faster than what was probably legal. Girls and women screamed when they saw Kylo and Rey even heard her own name shouted a few times in a stunned manner. She blushed and buried her head into his back, feeling the rumbles of his laughter seep through.

Some groups of girls even tried to run beside them on the sidewalk with crazed eyes, but they were going too fast for them to catch up. Paparazzi that normally patrolled the streets of Hollywood looking for something exciting to happen snapped shots of them in a frenzy, the occasional pop of a camera catching Rey’s eye every now and then.

It felt strange to be in the spotlight. 

Rey had to be honest with herself in the fact she never ever thought she’d ever get attention like this in her life, and when she had just started talking to Kylo, she never in a million years thought that she would get to this point. She was beyond awestruck at what had happened in the course of three weeks, but she wouldn’t change it for the world.

In Rey’s opinion, she didn’t care how many pictures the media took of them together. They hadn’t done anything wrong and Rey was happy to be with the man considering he was the only one she genuinely wanted to be with. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d been so excited about a potential love interest, let alone see herself spend a long time with them. 

So she just cuddled against him and squeezed him lightly with the thought in the back of her brain that she was falling hard for Kylo and continued on watching people fly by until they got to his apartment. 

“Alright, here’s the plan,” Kylo began as they parked the bike in the underground garage and carefully got off. “We go up, pack enough clothes for us to keep camping out at your place, and maybe I grab the tape recorder so we can record the music we make?” Rey nodded immediately at the suggestion and let him lead her to the elevator that would bring them to his floor. 

Both of them were practically bouncing on their feet during the ride up, his large hand swamping hers in a grip that could be interpreted as nothing other than protective. Rey blushed a little when she realized that, but kept her mouth shut and bit back a knowing grin when they finally reached his floor and stepped into the hallway. 

“How about you grab us some things to eat to take back with us while I pack up my clothes? It’ll be something to do so you don’t get bored with staring at me for ten minutes,” Kylo laughed, nudging her lightly. Rey nodded and entered the apartment behind him when he unlocked it, instantly making a beeline for the kitchen to grab things to eat while Kylo let go of her hand with a reassuring smile and walked in the direction of the bedroom.

He knew something felt weird about the apartment when he entered, but he tried to brush it off and act like everything was okay due to the fact Rey was a beaming bundle of joy beside him. Kylo gave her a task to do while he investigated, not quite sure why he was feeling so strange about his apartment. But when he entered his bedroom, his heart instantly dropped through the floor.

One of his orange pill bottles was on the floor, just barely able to be seen as it rested underneath his bed. Kylo’s eyes flicked to the drawer where he kept all of his drugs and top shelf liquor and noticed that it was cracked just the slightest bit open. 

His mind raced as he tried to figure out who exactly might have broken in, but it dawned on him that there had been no signs of forced entry and the only people who knew how to get in were the people who knew that there was a key at the top of his door.

_ Phasma, Hux, and Mitaka. _

If his blood hadn’t been cold before, it was definitely frozen like ice now. They knew what he was hiding, and even though he hadn’t touched any of that stuff since they’d started touring, there was no way he could convince them that what they’d found wasn’t anything he was actually using. Well, not at the moment anyway. To be honest, he hadn’t even touched a drop of alcohol or any sort of drug since he’d been with Rey-- hadn’t even  _ thought _ about it. 

But they couldn’t possibly know that, and it seemed stupid to try and persuade them into thinking that he wasn’t taking or drinking anything. So all that Kylo could do was snatch up the bottle of pills and stuff it back in the drawer before focusing on what he’d set out to do in the first place. Kylo swore he’d never packed a bag as fast as he did, but within the span of five minutes, a duffle bag was stuffed with clothing and toiletries.

The tape recorder he hadn’t used in months was in the other nightstand, thankfully a little less touched than the other one, and Kylo packed it away as quickly as he possibly could so he could flee the room and find Rey. He didn’t want to think about the drawer or the conversation he was probably going to be having with his bandmates in a while, so he forced the thoughts to the back of his mind and exited the hallway. 

Rey was sitting at the kitchen bar, a few snacks sprawled out around her and a shy smile on her face. “I didn’t really have anywhere to pack them…” she admitted quietly and Kylo’s heart melted at how sweet she was. Fuck, he was falling fast and hard for the sweet girl sat on his stool like she belonged here. “We’ll put everything in my bag, okay? Come on, sweetheart. Let’s get out of here,” Kylo hummed back to her with a smile, ready to forget they even came here in the first place. 

*****

With a sigh, Rey set the journal full of scribbled lyrics down and glanced at the closed door leading to her bathroom. Kylo had just gotten in the shower, and though he offered for her to join him, Rey had said she wanted to share a bath with him later and let him go while she worked on songs. However, there was only so much writing she could do when they could quite literally be taking on Hollywood. 

Rey rose from the bed and headed for the kitchen, ready to snack on something while she waited for Kylo to come out so she could convince him to go on a walk with her. As soon as she stepped foot out of the bedroom, however, her phone started ringing and Rey perked up immediately at the sound of someone wanting to reach out to her. 

The only person who really had her number was Rose, so when Rey answered and heard the familiar voice of Mitaka instead, something felt very wrong right away. “Rey? It’s Mitaka. Are you free to talk?” he questioned softly into the other end of the phone. Knitting her eyes together in confusion, Rey agreed that she could and leaned against the kitchen wall as she waited for the drummer to continue.

“Is this about the songs or something? Kylo’s fine if that’s what you’re wondering. We were able to go and grab some of his things from his apartment today but we’re back at my place,” she opened up freely. There was a moment of hesitation on the other end and Rey couldn’t help but bite into her bottom lip as she wondered exactly what Mitaka was about to say.

The shower pounded away in the background and Rey let her eyes drift over to the open doorway to the room they’d shared for roughly a week now. Did they think she was hoarding him and taking him away from the band? Were they supposed to be writing or discussing what to do with the band right now? She opened her mouth to begin talking, but Mitaka began to speak right before she could start.

“You were at his apartment today?” he asked. If Rey was dumbfounded before, she was completely lost as to where this conversation was going now. “Uh… I’m sorry, Mitaka, but did you actually, um, have a reason for calling or are we just talking about what Kylo and I are up to?” Rey inquired back in a tone that willingly confessed how struck she was by the oddness of it all. 

Mitaka sucked in a sharp breath on the other side before letting it out and Rey figured he was probably nodding right now.

“Uh, yeah… listen, the other band members don’t know I’m doing this and I want to keep it that way, if we can. It’s just been gnawing on my consciousness and I can’t hold it in any longer,” the man confessed in a mysterious verbiage. 

A lump had somehow started to form in her throat and even though Rey tried to say something to confirm that she was ready to hear whatever he was about to admit, nothing came out.

There was another long pause, like he was waiting for her to say something, but the shower turned off at the same time Mitaka finally spilled, “The band mates and I went to Kylo’s apartment the other day. We were looking for sheet music to work on while he was with you but we found… other things. Rey, I think it’s important you know that… well… fuck, alright,  _ shit… _ Rey, Kylo is an alcoholic and a drug addict. He needs help and we’re sending him to rehab.” 

Rey wasn’t exactly sure when the phone fell from her hand.

All she knew was that one second, the bright red object was in her hand, and in the next, it was banging against the kitchen wall and bouncing like a bungee cord on the coiled string that attached it to the backing stuck to the wall. Her mouth had parted in astonishment and her bottom lip trembled fiercely as she stared at that empty bedroom doorway giving her a clear image of the disheveled bed that had been their doing.

Behind the other door, Kylo had just finished his shower and was about to come out any minute to smile at her and kiss her and tell her how happy she made him. Rey fought back tears, and with a sharp gasp, she came back to real life from wherever she’d gone and scrambled to grab up the phone that echoed  _ hello? _ in a questionable form from Mitaka. 

“I, um… sorry. I-I’m here,” Rey stuttered out into the phone. Mitaka sighed and shuffled a little bit while Rey worked quickly to wipe away her tears and shake her head. “Um… where did you exactly, uh, get that idea?” she managed to get out shakily. “We found pill bottles in his nightstand. A lot of them. Heavy pain medication. And he drinks a lot, Rey. You know that, but you’ve just never seen one of his fits,” the drummer explained.

She nodded along and crossed one arm over her chest in a protective stance. “So, um, you’re going to try to send him to rehab then?” Rey continued to question. Mitaka filled her in on all of the details as fast as possible, seeming to sense her urgency that she really didn’t have much time until Kylo got out of the bathroom. She was made aware of the fact they were going to confront him and Mitaka reached out thinking she might be there to help.

Of course, Rey agreed.

As much as she enjoyed her time hiding away with Kylo due to the fact she just got him back from tour, she wanted to have him for as long as possible in a healthy way. So she agreed with the plan to support him going to rehab and hung up the phone right as Kylo unlocked the bathroom and stepped out into her bedroom. “Rey?” he called out into the apartment, finally turning his head to spot her.

Rey’s heart broke ten ways to Sunday when she saw the giant grin spread across his face when he finally found her. He looked so…  _ happy. _ He hadn’t touched a drop of alcohol since he’d been back and there was no way he’d done any drugs considering they were always naked and around each other, so there was nowhere to really hide or put them, but Rey couldn’t get what Mitaka had told her out of her head. 

_ Heavy pain medication. Drinking fits. _

But he strode across the room like he was the cleanest person in the world with a towel wrapped around his naked waist and wet, raven locks pushed back to show off those big ears Rey adored. His inky tattoos glimmered underneath beads of water from the shower and when he came to wrap his arms around her and pull her into his firm chest, Rey melted instantly and closed her eyes as her thoughts raced with what she’d just learned. 

*****

Snoke shuffled the pictures in his hands as a wicked grin spread over his lips in that evil and crooked way that made people shiver when they saw it. Somehow, some way, someone had managed to find pictures of Rey and her friend Rose in line at the Bourbon Room for the concert where the Catholic girl and Kylo had met. Of course, it was more a picture of how long the line was for the Knights of Ren, but their faces were clear in the black and white picture. 

And right in front of Rey was the bouncer, both of them with wide smiles on their faces as they seemed to be in the middle of a conversation. Snoke wasn’t exactly sure how much he could milk the pictures for what he wanted them to convey, but the media seemed so desperate for content on the new couple that he figured any news source would run the story immediately.

So he walked into the building for the Hollywood Reporter and offered that strange grin of his to the secretary waiting at the front of the giant building’s main floor. He observed her shift uncomfortably in her chair but smile back anyway and watch him approach. “Hello, I have a meeting with Enric Pryde at one,” Snoke informed the woman, pushing the pictures into the pocket within his jacket.

“Ah, Andrew Snoke?” the secretary confirmed after looking at the roster sitting in front of her. He nodded and thanked her after she instructed him to go ahead and head up to the tenth floor where the man would be waiting for him. 

Snoke had already formulated in his head exactly what he wanted to say to the important journalist that had run lots of sneaky articles before and hoped this would destroy that pesky relationship once and for all.

There was no way he was about to lose his greatest source of income to some girl with a pretty pair of hazel eyes. His whole life could be ruined if Kylo walked out on the band and he needed to fix that before he went broke. Well, to be fair, the man already was, but he would be damned if he let anyone know that he was completely out of money. 

Everything depended on Kylo and that god forsaken band and if he wanted to get back to a place of tremendous wealth, that meant destroying what was in his way.

Snoke strode down the hallway to Pryde’s office once the elevator stopped and opened. His dress shoes clicked on the linoleum floors and when he finally approached the office, he was surprised to find the man already waiting for him with the door open. 

“Andrew, it’s been a while,” the man dressed in a pitch black suit greeted from behind the desk. Snoke grimaced at the choice of color, knowing how dull the journalist was, but smiled back and shook his hand to be polite.

“What do you have for me today?” Pryde asked while sitting back down on his chair and leaning back in a way that conveyed dominance but relaxation. Snoke pulled the pictures out of his suit pocket and tossed them on the desk, the pictures sprawling out in all different directions to show off the line outside of the Bourbon Room and the two red circles around Rey and the bouncer’s face.

Enric flicked his gaze down at the pictures before looking back up with his lips pressed into a thin line. With narrowed eyes, Pryde reached forward and picked up one of the pictures to observe it for a while in silence. “This is the Niima girl. The one that’s with your star right now, isn’t it?” the reporter questioned grimly. “Yes, it is,” Snoke replied, cocking his head to the side to see where this might go.

The man went through the other three pictures that had been thrown onto his desk before sighing deeply and staring at the floor as if he was lost in thought. “What exactly are you wanting me to do with these,” Pryde finally asked as he sat up and placed the photos back down on his desk. That horrible grin spread back out over Snoke’s mouth while he locked his fingers together on his lap.

“I want a story. It’s not a true story, so to speak, but it could be… with your help,” he explained slyly. Whatever he said seemed to grasp Pryde’s interest as the man glanced back down to the two circled faces and furrowed his eyebrows while he mentally tried to figure out what exactly the manager was saying. 

It only took a few moments before he sat back with a knowing expression, shock hidden somewhat behind his features. “You’re wanting me to run a story about a cheater, aren’t you?” Pryde deadpanned.

Snoke shrugged, cocking his head from side to side. “Well, I want you to run a story that makes it  _ seem _ like our beloved little Catholic girl is cheating on my famous star,” he cleared up. The man behind the desk pressed his lips together tightly, very obviously trying to figure out how the story would work and if people would believe it, but after only a few seconds of deliberating, Pryde rose from the desk and stuck his hand out. 

Snoke stood as well and shook the reporter’s hand, both of them staring at each other with that knowing glint in their eyes. “As always, it’s a pleasure doing business with you, Andrew,” Enric stated coolly. Snoke just bowed his head and growled back, “Likewise.” He left the office then with no pictures in his hand, no story in his head, and no money in his pockets, but Snoke had never felt more certain of being in control in his life. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope y'all enjoyed! As always, be kind in the comments xx


	12. Free Bird

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy! xx
> 
> TW: Alcoholism, blood, self-harm (?), fighting.

Another week passed.

Kylo had gone home and Rey had gone to the first workshop that was required of her to attend for her new job that would begin in August as a teacher. He called her that same night to ask her how it went and she’d told him in great detail about every single thing she learned. She’d been able to see what her classroom space was going to be like and had even been told she could decorate it however she wanted.

Meanwhile, Kylo had been working on the music they’d written up during their sheltering away. He recorded as much of the guitar parts and singing as possible, but most of what they worked on was either not complete in the slightest, or was missing a few things that could make it perfect. So he’d given up after a few tries on some of the songs and decided instead to go have himself a drink.

He’d thrown away all of the drugs in his nightstand. 

Sure, he’d been in a drunken fit when he flushed everything down the toilet, but they were gone and he wasn’t getting them back. Something inside of Kylo seemed to sigh in relief when he watched all of the pills and powders swirl around in that white porcelain only to disappear forever seconds later. He kicked himself for a few hours the day after when he was sober, but he’d gotten over it rather quickly and decided it was for the best.

Phasma, Hux, and Mitaka hadn’t confronted him about anything yet which was starting to give him extreme anxiety. Kylo knew for a fact that they were the ones that had gotten inside of his apartment, looking for sheet music obviously, but had found the contraband instead. And while they’d all agreed he would get help if he had another incident, something told him they didn’t need an incident to want to send him to rehab now.

But his phone remained quiet and his door was never knocked on. The only calls Kylo got were from Rey who told him about her days getting ready to teach the upcoming August and that she missed him. He planned to go over tonight, the first time he’d see her in days, and he was beyond excited to see his girl. Kylo was hoping more than anything he could just hold her and admire her for a moment, but he wouldn’t be disinclined to sex if she wanted it.

Thinking about it, Kylo hadn’t had sex with a woman that wasn’t Rey in nearly a month now. It felt strange to consider it that way, but the smile that spread over his full lips suggested he quite liked the idea of that. As he walked to the kitchen to grab himself another drink of the usual, a dull buzz already coursing through his veins, a shrill ringing from the phone attached to the wall cut through the silence.

Kylo winced at how loud it was in his tipsy ears and hurried to shut it up, pulling it away from the wall so it would stop ringing while he brought it up to his ear. “Yeah, _fuck,_ uh, hello?” he grumbled out, rubbing sleep out of his eye while he reached for the liquor on the counter and shrugged up his shoulder to keep the phone against his ear. 

“Kylo, it’s good to hear you,” Snoke’s sinister voice snarled on the other side of the phone. Kylo stopped what he was doing immediately and curled his hand around the black phone, his knuckles turning white while he turned away from the counter to glare out the window of his apartment overlooking the city. “What the _fuck_ do you want,” Kylo growled out as menacingly as possible. 

His old manager chuckled at the response and shuffled around in the background, the sound of the newspaper crinkling as it opened up to be read. “Just thought I’d like to discuss the latest news with you. You’ve seen it, haven’t you?” the man questioned in that shit eating tone that told Kylo he knew something the rockstar didn’t. The younger man swallowed thickly and ran a hand through his messy hair as his eyes flicked to the front door where the paper would be on the other side.

“No,” Kylo gritted out finally, not sure why he was even indulging the man anymore. “Oh my… maybe I should just call later once you’ve read it…” Snoke trailed off. Kylo knew exactly what the older man was doing, but like always, he fell right into the trap and gripped the phone even harder as he snarled, “Just tell me the fucking news, asshole.” The line went quiet for a very long time and Kylo was just about to hang up when Snoke gave out a heavy sigh.

“I _do_ hate to break it to you, Kylo… but it seems that girl of yours isn’t so faithful after all.”

Kylo’s blood went ice cold at the sentence and before Snoke could get another word out, the star slammed the phone back on the receiver and took a few calming deep breaths. Once he’d managed to get back to a place where he felt like he wasn’t going to destroy something, Kylo coolly walked towards the front door of his apartment and opened it to look at the newspaper waiting for him outside in the hallway.

He pressed his lips together and bent down, snatching it up before slamming the door and tugging the rolled up paper from the plastic packaging inside. Sure enough, as soon as he unraveled the black and white paper, the headline **CATHOLIC CAUGHT CHEATING** stood out in bold lettering. All of the air was sucked from Kylo’s lungs and he unfolded the paper yet again to reveal the picture underneath.

It was zoomed in and showed a bouncer at the front of the Bourbon Room laughing and smiling with Rey right in front of him, her own grin wide and cheery while her hand rested on his bicep like he’d just told her a joke of some sort. He was too enraged to notice it was the outfit from the night he met her or that Rose stood right next to her doing the exact same thing. All he could think about was that Kylo apparently wasn’t the only man Rey was interested in. 

Without a second thought, Kylo grabbed the whiskey off of the counter and downed the entire bottle with harsh, painful gulps until tears formed in the corners of his eyes and his throat screamed with agony. He smashed the glass on the ground along with the paper, found the keys to his motorcycle in his jeans, then left the apartment with eyes blazing and stomach burning. 

*****

“Oh, he’s perfect, Rose. I don’t think I could ever want another man for the rest of my life,” Rey sighed dreamily into the phone, her finger fiddling with the dog tags around her neck. All she could think about was the fact that he’d be coming over tonight and she could have him for a few more days if she was lucky enough. Rose giggled into the other end of the phone and teased, “I think someone is in l-o-v-e.”

Rey just blushed and shook her head, trying to shy away from what her best friend had just said, even if she maybe was feeling that deep down so soon. Who knows when she’d actually tell him? It definitely wouldn’t be for a while longer, but she was certain she was on track to loving Kylo with every ounce of her soul. Heavy knocking on her front door pulled her from her call and Rey jumped a little on her couch.

“I think he actually might be here?” Rey questioned, glancing over the couch even though that wouldn’t tell her who was knocking. “Oh! Go get him! I’ll talk to you later!” Rose cheered before hanging up excitedly. Rey pulled herself off of the couch with a giddy smile and hurried to the door, still cautiously unlocking it until she saw Kylo on the other side.

“You’re early! I wasn’t expecting you until-”

“What the actual _fuck,_ Rey. You’re fucking _cheating_ on me?” Kylo spat, shoving himself into the apartment. He reeked of alcohol and Rey quickly stepped away from the door, all happiness leaving her body in an instant while she stared at her boyfriend with wide eyes as he stumbled into the kitchen after her, actually bumping into the counter in the process. “What are you talking about?” Rey shot back, trying to keep a calm tone. 

He let out a sarcastic sort of laugh, raking his hand through his hair as he shook his head and looked away. Rey’s heart beat coldly in her chest and she nervously swallowed, attempting to take a step forward until Kylo held up a hand and gritted out, “Don’t.” Rey stopped then, her eyebrows knitted together in bewilderment, and she asked as softly as possible, “Kylo? What’s going on?”

The rockstar spun around on his heels, heading for the front door and yanking it open only to snatch up the newspaper still resting outside. He tossed it carelessly on the kitchen counter and stabbed his index finger into it, his dark eyes blazing as he finally met her eyes. Rey said nothing while she walked forward, the silence stretching between them as she pulled the paper from its thin plastic covering to read the headline.

Everything in her body turned into an icy numbness when she read the bolded words and stared at the picture of the bouncer she barely remembered the name of. “You’re fucking cheating on me,” Kylo stated again. Rey didn’t fail to catch the way he slurred a little on the f-word. Nevertheless, she set the paper to the side and kept her eyes on him while a little bit of anger started to bubble up inside of her.

“You believe this?” she interrogated collectedly. He snarled at the question, making a big display with his hands that gave away just how much he’d obviously had to drink before he came over here. “Are you fucking kidding me? It’s right on the cover of the front page news, Rey!” he shouted. She flinched at the sound of his voice, blinking a few times to try to fight back whatever tears were already starting to bloom.

“So you looked at a picture of me standing in line with my best friend, waiting to get into _your_ concert, talking to the bouncer who just so happened to be friendly, and immediately jumped on board with the same media that gave out my personal information?” Rey continued in her steady voice. It was obvious he wasn’t in the right mental capacity to talk about it.

He swayed a little on his feet, dragging his hands down his face as he shook his head yet again, like he couldn’t quite believe that he was hearing such bullshit. “I fucking trusted you… I gave you my goddamn tags, wrote fucking songs with you… I _made_ _love_ to you! And this is what you fucking do behind my back?” Kylo all but screamed at her.

The anger that was building inside of Rey at the fact he wasn’t even listening to her started to boil closer and closer to spilling over her internal pot. “I didn’t cheat on you and I never will. Please, just for one minute, read this fucking article and tell me you actually believe this,” she argued back, going to pick up the newspaper. But Kylo’s hand was faster and he slammed it down just inches away from hers. 

Rey yelped at the sudden action and jerked away, the tears she was fighting to keep back springing out from her eyes and slipping down her cheeks. “I would never cheat on you! What kind of person do you think I am, Kylo?” she finally snapped, raising her voice at him too while her bottom lip wobbled. “Save the goddamn tears!” he simply spat back.

Kylo’s fist tightened around the paper, the grey colors all scrunching up as a result of the drunk rockstar’s fury. “I fucking trusted you!” he yelled at the top of his lungs, the paper spiraling towards the wall beside her out of the blue and splattering against it in a flurry of white and black. A choked sob escaped Rey’s throat and she yanked herself away even further, her hands drawing into her chest while her heart receded further and further into her body. 

“Don’t do this, Ben… don’t go this way,” she whispered desperately. The use of his real name seemed to stir something inside of him because then he was grabbing anything and everything from the counters and flinging the objects all over her apartment while Rey wept against the wall and made a quick grab for the phone. Every single nerve in her body told her to get out, that he was dangerous right now, but Rey called the first name that popped into her head.

Mitaka picked up on the second ring.

“Rey? What-”

“Please! Please, come get him!” was all Rey could get out before Kylo’s hand was around the phone and tearing it out of her grasp in a fit of rage to bring it to his own ear. “Who the fuck is this?” Kylo snapped. If Mitaka answered or not, Rey wasn’t sure, because he was throwing the phone back against the wall and breaking it before turning away from her, crouching a little, and screaming at nothing with his fists balled up.

“I was about to fucking tell you I loved you!” Kylo admitted through his scratchy throat. Rey held herself and hiccuped, not sure if she should reach out to touch him or not, so one hand just sort of floated out in front of her. “I was about to tell you I loved you too…” she whispered, hoping that might pull him out of whatever he was going through.

But no, he just laughed bitterly and rose back up to full height before turning around to face her. His shoulders sagged, his eyes were red from tears, and his hair was ruined from how much he’d been tugging at it. “You don’t fucking love me. You cheated on me. That’s not love, Rey,” Kylo told her in a icy tone that had her frozen to the spot. “I didn’t cheat on you, Kylo. I never cheated on you. I love-” 

“Don’t fucking tell me you love me!” Kylo snapped back at her, bringing his balled up fists by his head as he clenched his eyes shut and visibly vibrated with rage. Rey flinched, drawing in on herself yet again while she watched him and prayed that Mitaka was on his way. He took in a deep and steadying breath, both of them just standing where they were with broken hearts.

“I don’t… I don’t ever want to see you again. Keep the fucking tags and guitar and songs. I don’t want anything from you ever fucking again. Keep my name out of your goddamn mouth and stay out of my life,” Kylo hissed, not even bearing to look her in the eyes before he was turning away as fast as possible and leaving through the door that had been open the whole time.

The faint snarl of, “What are you all fucking looking at?” echoed through the hallway, but Rey was too busy collapsing in on herself. She was faintly aware of the shuddering movement of her shoulders as she slid down the kitchen wall and that her face was wet, but it wasn’t until her butt hit the floor covered with the now disheveled newspaper did she realize that she had completely fallen into a mental breakdown. 

A few neighbors peeked into the apartment with worried eyes, and Rey was also barely aware of her scratchy voice telling them to leave her the fuck alone. It wasn’t until the pop of a camera occurred out of the corner of her eye did she stand up in a rage and scream at everyone gathered around to stare at the situation before slamming the door. Her phone let out one shrill shriek after another again and again and it wasn’t until she heard the sound of Mitaka, Hux, and Phasma on the other side of the door did she realize they’d been trying to get ahold of her. 

Hands crowded her face and wiped her tears.

Frantic eyes scanned hers and questions fell deaf on her ears.

Fingertips grazed broken glass and scattered papers.

“Rey. Where did Kylo go?” 

For some reason, Hux’s question broke through whatever fog had overcome her and she managed to drag her gaze away from whatever other space she was staring at to the severely concerned look the guitarist was giving her. “Rey, please. Do you know where Kylo went?” he repeated his question gravely. At the sound of his name, Rey shook her head and started to cry again. 

Everyone but Mitaka left her.

*****

Kylo couldn’t see straight.

That much was certain as he tore through the hallways out of the apartment and to his motorcycle, his sides and shoulders occasionally bumping into the light tan walls. His blood was boiling with anger and whatever Rey had tried to say to him just went in one ear and out the other. The last thing he wanted to hear was excuses about her behavior.

He’d spent his whole life listening to excuses for behavior and he was sick of it. So Kylo yanked the key to his motorcycle out of his jeans and swung his leg drunkenly over the bike, stumbling a little bit even though he wasn’t fully aware that he had. The engine roared horrifically underneath him and a few nervous eyes walking by turned his way with excited murmurs, but he blocked everything out. 

Within seconds, Kylo was pulling away from the curb and heading back in the direction of his apartment. The last thing he wanted to do was spend another fucking minute in LA or Hollywood, so he was already formulating a plan to book plane tickets and get the fuck away for the summer so he could leave whatever goddamn life he had started to build in California.

He’d heard about rockstars who dropped out of their lifestyle numerous times, just grabbed as much money as they could and retired right then and there. At the age of twenty-nine, Kylo felt more than ready to fucking pull that off as well. God knows he was practically swimming in money, so all it really took was one plane ticket out and one purchased home to start a new life. Maybe a haircut too. 

Shaking his head, Kylo swerved a little on the road, but tried to pay attention to the best of his ability to the cars and pedestrians swarming around him. _Since when had it gotten so crowded on these streets?_ It was only the afternoon and the sun was particularly hot that day, so Kylo picked up the speed and started to weave drunkenly through the cars in order to get home faster.

Honks and shouts of disapproval for his reckless driving rattled around in his head, but Kylo paid little attention while his vision began to blur even more rapidly. Whether it was a miracle, or just dumb luck, Kylo pulled into the garage after one dangerous drive and managed to get in the elevator that would take him to his apartment. Now he was seriously kicking himself for flushing all of those drugs.

However, he hadn’t gotten rid of that top tier liquor in the drawer.

It was a struggle to get the apartment key into the slot, but once the rockstar did, he made a beeline straight for the bedroom with liquor and rage the only things filling his brain. Kylo drunkenly marched down the hallway to his bedroom and all but collapsed on his knees in front of the nightstand only to yank it out of its stationary position. Bottles of brown and white and green whistled past him with velocity and scattered around his legs.

Kylo scrambled for the first one he could find and unscrewed the top, knocking back the harsh whiskey that touched his lips and throat. A dull ringing had started in his ears while the bedroom became a mass of shapeless colors around him. Drunken lyrics of a song he no longer seemed to remember the name of spilled from his lips and he was barely able to pick up the words ‘dream on’ before stumbling towards the hallway once more. 

The empty bottle of whatever he’d had to drink slipped carelessly from his hand when he hit the side of the wall particularly hard after losing his balance and shattered on and around his feet. Uncaring, Kylo pushed on despite the new stinging and sharp pain in the soles of his feet and headed for the main stash of alcohol he kept in the kitchen.

Unbothered by the fact he’d lost his shoes, and apparently his shirt too at some point during the entire encounter, another cap was flicked off of an amber colored bottle and its contents were spilled down his mouth and chin. The ringing mixed in his ears with the faint sound of thudding, like someone was trying to get into the apartment, but Kylo murmured a few slurred words of annoyance and ignored it.

He turned around with the new bottle, intent on heading back to the bedroom so he could see if there was just maybe a small chance he didn’t flush all of his drugs, when a particularly sharp piece of glass lodged in his foot pushed even deeper and caused the entirely of his foot and calf to seize up with excruciating pain.

Kylo was falling then. 

His knee turned inward and gave out completely as his left hand dropped the bottle it was holding in an attempt to grasp the edge of the counter. But the palm of his hand was too uncoordinated and slipped off of the edge, offering him no support. The liquor bottle smashed into a shiny sea of glimmering amber shards while a puddle of matching alcohol sloshed around it. 

Within the span of five seconds, the knee that had turned inward came crashing down first on the marble flooring and took the brunt of the fall, all of his weight resting on it until it could support no more and let out a sickening crack instead. His chest and hands came next, both of which landed in the new mess of glass and liquor. Sharp pain shot through every nerve of his body and the last thing to be affected was his face which just so happened to catch along a particularly jagged piece of glass. 

Lodged in his skin starting just over one eyebrow and trailing down to the opposite cheek, amber glass made itself comfortable in his face and his vision suddenly became very red after a few heartbeats. The ringing and pounding were getting louder, but Kylo wouldn’t move. In fact, he wasn’t even sure he could if he tried. Everything was either numb or in extreme pain and he was too inebriated to even scream or cry or writhe. 

When the front door of his apartment finally burst open to show the terrified expressions of Hux and Phasma, and the scream from the female guitarist filled his ears, he knew exactly what to expect. Hux came racing forward first, barking an order at Phasma to do something while he crouched down beside the rockstar bleeding out on the floor next to a puddle of vomit he didn’t even know he created.

Everything seemed to be spinning around him and a frightened voice in the background shrieking, “911? Please come quick!” seemed to fade in with Hux rolling him onto his back, grasping his face, and questioning seriously, “Kylo, can you hear me?” The rockstar attempted to let out a groan to let him know that he could indeed hear whatever the guitarist asked, but all that came out was a wet gurgle.

Hux’s eyes flicked down immediately when the sound came out of his throat and the terrified swear of, “ _Holy fuck,_ ” definitely didn’t mean anything good. A hand was pressing down around his neck then and Kylo became somewhat aware of yet another stinging in his neck mixed with an extremely wet sensation. Was that Hux’s hand or-

“Phasma, for the love of God, when the fuck are the paramedics coming?” Hux’s scream cut through his thoughts like the glass currently digging into his skin. If the other guitarist answered, Kylo wasn’t aware. Instead, he was focusing on the black spots abruptly starting to take over his vision. “Woah, woah, woah. Kylo? Kylo. _Fuck!_ I need you to stay with me, okay?” Hux was asking. “Should I call Rey?” Phasma whimpered from the side.

_Rey._

What he would give just to see her face right now and say he was sorry… 

He just barely registered the feeling of a tear slipping down his cheek before his vision gave out and everything went numb.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope y'all enjoyed! As always, be kind in the comments xx


	13. Let It Be

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy! xx

Kylo woke in agony. Everything in his body was screaming with pain and when he tried to open his eyes, only one was able to meet the blurry world around him. Bright white lights beamed down on him from above and he groaned, lifting a hand to try to block out the light until his eye could adjust to it properly. The feeling of something heavy on his face eventually brought the same hand down to feel a thick bandaging covering half of his skin and his other eye.

Kylo winced when his fingers grazed the bridge of his nose and he dropped his hand, deciding he didn’t want to touch that area again. It hurt to breathe and the friction of bedding against his also bandaged chest made him somewhat dizzy from pain. He tried to move his legs next, but an ache so excruciating shot back up his body that Kylo couldn’t help but cry out in agony at the movement. 

He blinked back tears and finally was able to make out that he was in a hospital room due to the annoying beeps of a heart monitor next to him and the medicinal bed he was lying in. His cry seemed to alert someone outside and the first name that popped into his head was Rey’s, but the familiar faces of his bandmates came into the room instead, all of them wearing concerned but stern faces.

“Hey, buddy. How are you feeling?” Hux asked, the first one to speak out of the bunch as they all gathered around the side of his bed. Phasma seemed close to tears at the sight of him and Mitaka wrapped a comforting arm around her waist to pull her close. “What… what happened?” Kylo asked in a scratchy voice that was practically begging for water. 

Appearing to understand the struggle, Hux handed him a cup of water by his bedside while Mitaka spoke. “You were intoxicated. Went to Rey’s apartment drunk and upset before going back to your own place. You fell after drinking too much and fractured your knee. You got glass in your chest and face, but the doctors were able to remove all of the pieces. You’re going to need physical therapy for the knee, but they’ve got you in a cast right now,” he informed softly.

_ Went to Rey’s apartment drunk and upset? _

The memories of the call from Snoke and the newspaper shot back to him almost immediately, but the images of himself angry at Rey’s apartment were blurred and fuzzy in his brain. “Did I… did I hurt her?” he asked in a hushed and afraid tone after taking a sip of the water Hux had extended to him. “Not physically,” was all Mitaka offered back to him. Kylo’s heart sank in his chest and the entire room fell into a silence.

It only took him a few minutes of thought before he looked back up at his friends warily and asked, “It was a lie, wasn’t it?” They shifted on their feet and exchanged knowing looks between the three of them. Phasma was the one who spoke first, nodding her head and telling him as gently as possible, “It was Snoke who sold the story to the media. He’s currently under fire for defamation of character. Rey lost her job because of the incident. She won’t talk to us right now.”

_ Snoke sold the story. Rey lost her job. She won’t talk.  _

Kylo didn’t know he was crying until he felt the wetness drip off of his chin and fall onto his chest. Phasma, Mitaka, and Hux just stood there in silent respect while Kylo descended into a full on sobbing fit, everything in his life suddenly so completely wrong. And there was no way for him to fix it right now.

*****

Rey stared at the tv with empty eyes, her arms wrapped around her torso while her coziest blanket was slung around her. It had been three days since the incident and two days since she received the call from the school she was supposed to start at that she had been let go. Rose was in the kitchen working up something for her to eat while the television broke away from her show to breaking news.

“This just in, rockstar Kylo Ren has woken up in the hospital and has been reported to be alright. With a fractured knee and serious glass abrasions, the star is expected to make a full recovery while in rehab. Friends and bandmates Gwendoline Phasma, Dopheld Mitaka, and Armitage Hux have reached out to say that Ren will be recovering at the  California Highlands Addiction Treatment Center. Ex-lover Rey Niima-”

The tv was switched to a new station before the reporter could continue and Rey looked to the side to see Rose holding the remote, her eyes filled with hate as she stared at the screen. “Enough of that. I could care less what happens to him,” she seethed, turning back to the kitchen to continue working on whatever she was making. Rey just blinked and stared at the tv again, though she wasn’t really paying attention.

Everything felt numb and dead inside of her. Her heart ached at the loss of the man who had turned so quick against her and her mind was tortured by the memories of their fight. Rey never thought she would ever have to be afraid of Kylo, but she was sorely mistaken. Every night, the scenario played on repeat in her brain and she was plagued with sleepless hours. Her pillows and shirts were soaked with tears and she hadn’t eaten until Rose came around.

Sister Maz had phoned her to talk about it, but Rey just kept the conversation short, not having enough energy to pour all of her feelings out again. She was told there was always a place for her at Chandrila if she needed to come back for a while, but Rey just thanked the woman and gave no indication of whether or not she would return. 

It had been a traumatizing past couple of days and with her supply of money starting to wear thin due to the fact she wasn’t getting a paycheck anymore, Rey knew she’d need to find a job. She’d already tried calling three other nearby schools and asked if they were in need of someone, but once she gave her name, they all turned her away.

Just like that, her dream of being a teacher was ruined along with her relationship. Rey felt tears start to well up in her eyes again and she was slightly amazed she still had any left, but she quickly wiped them away before they could fall. Rose walked over only a few moments later with a mug filled with chicken noodle soup. “Here, have this,” her best friend soothed, extending the cup to her.

Rey thanked her with a small and fragile voice, holding the cup of soup to her chest while she swirled the spoon around. “Have you thought of any other jobs you might be interested in that could accept you?” the younger girl asked, curling up her own legs beside Rey with worried eyes. “I don’t even know where I would begin… I could always try the guitar shop, but I don’t know if that will earn me enough money to stay here,” Rey told her.

Rose nodded and turned her attention to the tv which was now playing a commercial for some sort of revolutionary hairspray that she would never touch in her life. “Well, you like music. I’m sure you could find a job somewhere doing something music related?” Rose offered, still trying to sympathize with her best friend. Rey just sighed and looked at the other girl with red eyes.

How on earth was she supposed to get a job in the music industry? No one would fucking hire her because of the mess surrounding her currently and Kylo Ren. No, she was certain that anyone in the music industry with a brain would turn her away. The Bourbon Room flashed through her head almost immediately after thinking that along with the memory that Kylo’s father was a co-owner there.

_ Maybe…  _

Rey shook her head of the thought before she could entertain herself with it long enough. What would she even do there? She was so tiny, and not intimidating in the slightest, so she couldn’t possibly be crowd control or a bouncer. She wasn’t even old enough to drink so she couldn’t bartend either. That just left being a waitress to the giant crowds and bands that passed through.

She tried to come up with something else that could pose as a job, but all she really had was the Bourbon Room. Rey turned her attention to her soup, deciding not to tell Rose about what she’d just thought, and opted to take a bite of her food instead of talking about a job. All she really wanted to do right now was sit on her couch with her best friend and stay as far away from Kylo as possible. 

The phone rang shrilly in the kitchen and both girls turned to eye it, though it was Rose who actually stood from the couch to go answer it. Rey let her eyes flick down to the dog tags still around her neck and felt embarrassed at the fact she still wore them, but chose to avert her eyes back to the tv that had gone back to the show while her best friend answered the phone. 

“Hello?” Rose asked once she picked the red phone up. There was a slight pause before Rose huffed and angrily stated into the phone, “I don’t  _ care _ if he wants to talk to her. Rey doesn’t want to talk to any of you right now. Please stop calling.” The phone was promptly hung up in the next second and Rose joined her once again on the couch.

The older girl eyed Rose, expecting her to say something, but she just shook her head with a sigh. They didn’t speak for a few minutes and Rey dropped the desire to know who had called even though she already knew inside that it was one of the band members. Seeming to read her thoughts, Rose’s shoulders slumped and she let out a defeated breath before grumbling, “It was Mitaka. He… he said Kylo wanted to talk to you.” 

Rey just shrugged even though her heart fractured in her chest. Would she love to hear his voice right now and listen to him say sorry? Absolutely. But could she bear it in the slightest to know that it would only cause more damage? No. So she sipped at her soup and watched the television, ignoring the concerned look from Rose and the throbbing inside of her chest.

  
  


_ 1 week later _

  
  


Kylo dully thanked the staff member that helped him into the wheelchair and stared lifelessly at the hallway as he began to get wheeled towards the mess hall. It was lunch time at the rehabilitation center and even though he wasn’t very hungry, he knew that the therapist assigned to him would make him eat anyway. She was a

nice enough woman, his therapist-- an older spirit with lavender hair and kind eyes.

Her name was Amilyn and she didn’t care who he was, all that mattered to her was that he got better. Kylo had been there a little over seven days now, possibly nine if his sense of time wasn’t so screwed up when he first left the hospital, but the closely monitored and very safe environment was slowly growing on him. There wasn’t a lick of alcohol or drugs for miles and he was required to attend an AA meeting once a day after lunch.

There were no televisions or phones within the rooms, and if you did want to watch a program, it was already predetermined what you’d be watching in the lounge room as they called it. That being said, Kylo could receive calls from people and take them in one of the private phone rooms, but he wasn’t allowed to make any without permission from his therapist.

It was a total lockdown as far as the outside world went, but the facility was actually quite pleasant. There were gyms, pools, spas, outdoor activities, a pool table, and countless other things for him to spend his time at. Although, the one that drew him in the most was the music room. Amilyn had smiled when she told him about it, a cozy little place where they sometimes held lessons for different instruments.

Not many people went into the music room considering they weren’t professionals like he was and really only went when the lessons were offered, so Kylo spent most of his days fiddling with the guitar and scribbling lyrics in a journal that was provided to him by the rehab center. Amilyn had told him it was meant more to document his time there, but she let the lyrics slide, arguing in his defense that he was writing down feelings within the lines.

The sign outside of the mess hall told him that they were having paninis, but Kylo just blinked at it before averting his attention to his lap. No one had gotten him to say more than a few words here besides no, yes, please, and thank you, and as hard as Amilyn tried to get him to open up at AA meetings about what he struggled with, Kylo just sat in silence and stared at the floor.

So much had been plaguing his mind since he arrived at rehab. Without Rey to distract his mind from the thought of alcohol, it felt like years since he’d had a drop of the golden liquor and his thoughts were starting to ache with how crystal clear they came in. Everything seemed sore and painful from the literal wounds slowly healing all over his body to the emotional damage he’d created around him.

The band members hadn’t come to visit for four days, fighting his battle against Snoke for him when it came to the man giving away Rey’s personal information, leaving his management, and running the article that had been false about he and Rey’s relationship. The center refused to play the news, so Kylo had no idea what was really going on beyond the walls, but he sure could listen to the staff who gossiped. 

All that he could gather was that the media had run yet another article on the breakup and had released a pretty upsetting picture of Rey sitting on the floor of her kitchen balling her eyes out while different objects were scattered around her from being thrown. They talked about how she lost her job with the school and that she was currently being sheltered inside of her apartment.

There was even talk that she might return to Chandrila to become a nun.

Kylo didn’t want to believe it, but after everything he’d done, there was no way to tell what exactly the girl who’s life he ruined was going to do from now on. The staff member that had been wheeling him into the mess hall stopped him at the end of the usual table and asked him what kind of panini he wanted to eat. He just shrugged, not really caring considering he wasn’t picky and wasn’t very hungry anyway.

The staff member left without another word to go get his food while the familiar sound of Amilyn’s heels clicking towards him filled his ears. She sat down beside him only a few moments later with her usual sympathetic eyes and smile. “Hi, Ben. How are we feeling today?” she asked kindly, never in that sickly sweet sort of way that people sometimes tried with him.

He just glanced at her and shrugged again before looking away. “I see. Well, any pain today that we need to address?” Amilyn continued, folding her hands on the table in front of her. “No,” Kylo replied. While his knee and chest did ache occasionally, it was nothing compared to the first few days after the incident. She nodded with a smile and murmured something about that being good.

“Well, you actually have two visitors here to see you. Is it okay if they join you for lunch? They’d like to make sure you’re doing okay,” Amilyn asked. Figuring it was two of the band members, Kylo nodded while the staff responsible for getting his food set the hot sandwich down on a plate in front of him. “Alright. I’ll be right back, Ben,” the therapist informed. 

Kylo had started getting used to the fact they called him by his legal name, and for some reason, it brought a feeling of comfort to him to know that he was still Ben inside.  _ Maybe he really did just need a break from the rockstar for a while… _

The sound of six feet walking towards him echoed around the room that was gradually filling with other people ready to eat as well, but nothing prepared him for the worried faces of his parents sitting down beside him minutes later. Kylo froze in his wheelchair, the sandwich he was about to nibble on stuck between his hands still resting on the plate. “Hi, honey,” his mother started, reaching out to place a shaky hand overtop of his. 

Kylo flinched at the action, but didn’t move his hand away while Amilyn patted the back of his shoulder. “I’ll be back in thirty minutes when lunch is over and it’s time for our meeting,” she assured, leaving after giving everyone an encouraging smile. Han and Leia nodded thankfully to the woman before turning their attention to the star still unsure of how to react.

“We, uh, saw you all over the news, kid. Got us pretty worried,” his father started, shifting a little in his seat due to the fact he was never quite good at discussing feelings or troubles. No, he was always good at running away from them. “When we found out where you were going, we came as soon as we could. They wanted to give you a few days to adjust before we came,” Leia clarified. 

He finally got the strength to pull his hand away, and for the first time in days, he spoke up. “Funny how it only took a major incident for you to finally show up,” he all but growled, turning his attention to the sandwich that was going to go cold and uneaten today. “That’s not true, Ben. We tried to reach out to you for years when you were touring,” Leia argued.

Kylo frowned at that and lifted his eyes, warily meeting the own distressed gaze of his parents who held each other’s trembling hands but stared back at him. “You’re lying. I never heard from you once,” he shot back, shifting a little in his wheelchair while his heart suddenly began to sink in his chest. Han and Leia both shared a confused glance before his father took over for the talking.

“Ben… we called your manager so much trying to get a hold of you that he eventually stopped picking up. And when we wrote letters, nothing ever came back to us. When you left… we admit we were upset at first and let you run off for your first few months, but we missed you so much before long. We never heard back from you,” Han informed him as calmly as possible.

_ Your manager. _

Those two words rang in his head again and again and again while he stared at his parents who didn’t move a muscle as they waited for his response. “Why… um, why didn’t you come see me at the concert? At the Bourbon Room?” Kylo choked out, trying to make sense of it all while he digested the information he’d just learned from his parents. “It had been years, Ben. You never replied so I just figured you didn’t want to see me,” Han told him. 

For years, his friends and band members had been trying to tell him that Snoke was no good, but they were finally selling records and making money and touring and becoming famous so Kylo ignored it all. But now… now he saw just how much of a complete dumbass he was for ever talking to the man in the first place. 

Not only had Snoke played a big part in ruining his relationship with Rey, but he also was the main influence in destroying the relationship with his parents too. 

“I quit the band,” Kylo said bluntly, blinking as he stared at the sandwich in front of him. Leia and Han both frowned at the statement and when Leia took his hand only a few moments later to show silent support, Kylo didn’t move his hand away this time. “I think that’s a good idea. You need to focus on your health right now. Words can’t even begin to express how happy we are that you’re okay,” Leia spoke in that gentle tone Kylo remembered from childhood.

The rockstar was shaking his head then, closing his eyes to hide the fact that tears were welling up behind his eyelids while he squeezed his mother’s hand. Everyone was quiet as they seemed to understand things were bad now, but they had just begun to get a little better in some sense. “I swear… I didn’t know,” Kylo whispered to them through a throat thick from holding back his tears.

“I think we can see that, honey,” Leia soothed, letting go of his hand to reach out and wrap him up in her arms instead. Kylo didn’t care if he was getting tears all over his mother’s shirt, it just felt good to be held again. So yes, the panini went cold and people continued to file into the mess hall, but Kylo could care less as he wept for all of the things he’d lost. 

When Amilyn came to retrieve him for their meeting, the star having spent his thirty minute lunch time crying into his mother’s shirt, all he could do was just nod and meet his parent’s sympathetic eyes as they stood from the table and the therapist took hold of his wheelchair. “Will I see you soon?” Kylo asked through a cracking voice. “Of course you will,” Leia assured. They parted then with a final knowing stare that said plain as day they would fix this. All of it.

Amilyn said nothing as she wheeled Kylo in the direction of the AA meeting room where the other members that attended daily were probably already waiting. He’d made friends with a man named Snap in the meeting, if sitting next to each other while Snap talked most of the time while they waited for the meeting to start counted as making a friend. 

For some reason, however, it felt like a giant weight had been lifted off of his shoulders, and when the doors opened to reveal the circle of eight others waiting for him to arrive, Kylo finally felt like it was time for him to open up. Amilyn wheeled him in next to Snap who muttered, “Good to see you, buddy,” with a light clap on the back. Kylo nodded in appreciation and made himself as comfortable as he could in his chair while Amilyn took a seat at the head of the group.

“Good afternoon everyone. It’s so good to see all of you here today as usual. Would anyone like to start us out today?” the kind woman asked with those welcoming eyes she always had. They went around the circle one by one, starting out with Jessa who revealed she finally sensed like she was done going through withdrawals while Kaydel confessed she had a craving so painful the other day that it had reduced her to a sobbing mess.

By the time it reached Snap, Kylo was getting anxious in his chair. “So, you know, I’ve been here almost a year now and I feel pretty confident that when I leave in two months I’ll be ready to take on the world without alcohol. I gotta say, I feel really good about it,” Snap said proudly with a smile, everyone else in the circle nodding with kind expressions back at him to show their support.

“That’s really wonderful to hear, Snap. I’m glad you feel confident enough in yourself to remain sober without having all of this structure around you,” Amilyn encouraged. Snap thanked her lightly and then everyone’s eyes turned to Kylo’s, though it was obvious they weren’t expecting anything from him. “Ben? Would you like to share anything with us today?” the therapist coaxed.

He shifted in his wheelchair, keeping his eyes averted to his hands which were folded in front of him on his lap. With a deep inhale, the rockstar finally lifted his gaze to meet the eyes of all the other members and stated loud enough for everyone to hear, “My name is Ben Solo. I’m an alcoholic… a sex addict… and a drug addict. And I want to get better.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope y'all enjoyed! As always, be kind in the comments xx


	14. Sister Christian

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy! xx
> 
> CW: Time jump

_ _

_ 1 year later _

  
  


Rey tossed her hair back into its usual ponytail and ruffled her bangs just resting above her black overlined eyelids before nodding to herself. Her cropped black tank with the white logo of  _ THE BOURBON ROOM _ was snug against her body and the denim shorts she wore were certain to keep her long legs cool tonight. The usual black converse squeaked on the floor of the bathroom as she turned around and re-laced her half apron around her hips. 

A lot had happened since the incident roughly a year ago.

Two weeks after Kylo had been admitted into rehab, Rey had gone to the Bourbon Room and applied for a job to be a waitress during their craziest shifts. She’d finally met Kylo’s father who just gave her a sympathetic nod as if he understood the position she was put in and welcomed her to the Bourbon Room family alongside Lando who told her they were happy she’d come.

Of course, she had to move out of her apartment that would’ve been supported by a teacher’s salary for a smaller studio close to the new job, but she loved it all the same and even got to be closer to Chandrila. Rose had left the school as well and had gotten a job at a magazine company working in the style department for teens. Rey had been happy for her and they celebrated when she got the job.

Working at the Bourbon Room had also brought her so many things Rey didn’t know she needed. She was given a family that was excited to see her every time she came in, she was given a job based solely around rock music, and she was given a life that constantly put a smile on her face and money in her pockets. Her nights were filled with restless crowds and great music.

At the beginning, it had been hard trying to get into the swing of things. She’d had to learn how to maneuver the crowd by herself on their busy nights when giant bands like Def Leppard and Whitesnake rolled through and also learn how to keep people drunk on the nights when newby rock pants played to skeptical crowds of no more than fifty people. Han had become sort of a father figure to her in a sense as well and Rey was thankful everyday that he’d taken her in and didn’t mention anything about her relationship with his son. 

Rey never asked about him and Han never told. He taught her how to swindle the drunk for more money and better tips and how to call up managers of well known bands to convince them they were supposed to be playing there in a week when in truth, there was no plan for that band to come. But somehow, it worked every time. By the end of her second month working there, Rey finally felt like she had some stability.

Rose was able to come whenever she pleased to see the bigger bands, so long as she had a drink-- Han’s orders-- and had a good time. They had a movie night once a week where they could catch up on things that had happened, and on the weekends where neither of them worked, they walked down the streets of Hollywood Boulevard and shopped.

The paparazzi still came around sometimes to snap pictures of Rey, a monthly thing they tended to do just to give a ‘where are they now’ update, but the attraction to the story that had been so huge a year ago had now fizzled out. There was a rumor that Kylo was set to be released any day now and that he and the band had been working in the shadows on a new album to release when he got out, but Rey ignored it.

Snoke had lost all credibility as a music manager and was promptly fired from his own management company before he was sentenced to four months in prison for defamation of character only to be charged for embezzlement during the investigation as well. In total, Snoke was to spend five years and four months in prison and was never to touch the music industry again.

The band had tried to reach out to her and give her part of the funds they’d received from the case, but Rey never took any of it and never replied. They stopped trying to reach out to her after three months. A new article came out as well just three months after the incident by a reputable source that told the truth about the cheating accusation-- that the bouncer Rey had been spotted with was actually gay and dating another male worker at the Bourbon Room.

Rey had apologized as many times as she possibly could the first few weeks she worked at the music bar to Poe and Finn, but they brushed it all off almost immediately and welcomed her with open arms into the dysfunctional family that was the Bourbon Room staff. In fact, Rey pushed out of the bathroom now to face the giant crowd pouring into the business with loud shrieks.

Guns N’ Roses was going to be performing tonight and nearly everyone in California had come out to see the legendary rock band play. Rey just grinned and shook her head at the crowd before going over to the bar where D’Acy was mixing up drinks and pouring the liquor all around for people shoving their money towards her. “Band in the back room?” Rey asked, shouting over the crowd as she approached.

D’Acy practically sighed at the sight of her and pointed to a giant circular tray where a mix of different drinks were sitting. “Thank God you’re here! Feel like I’m being jumped!” the bartender cried before going back to pouring beers like a mad woman. Rey just laughed and picked up the serving tray, lifting it high above her head and moving in the direction of the back room where the band was currently getting ready. 

Security nodded to her and stepped aside as she approached, pushing into the room with a wide smile to greet lead singer Axl Rose, guitarist Slash, rhythm guitarist Izzy Stradlin, bassist Duff McKagan, and drummer Steven Adler all sitting around and talking. “Did someone order drinks?” Rey asked cheerily, setting down the tray on the table they were all sitting around.

“Yes we did,” Axyl cheered, picking up a beer with a smile and tipping it towards her out of gratitude while the other members did the same and continued their conversation. Rey picked up the tray and turned to leave when a scratchy voice to the side suddenly questioned, “Aren’t you Ren’s girl? The one that got in that whole mess?”

Rey stopped in her tracks and turned around, her smile disappearing instantly as she met the dark eyes of a young man with tanned skin and wild, tight black curls. A black hat rested on the top of his head and cast a shadow over the face currently sucking on a cigarette. “I was, yes,” she answered determinedly. “Yeah… I was sorry to hear about all of that. Kylo and I used to play guitar together sometimes when we played at festivals,” the main guitarist said. 

Slash, one of the best guitar players in the world, she should clarify.

“I… thank you?” Rey said, though it came out as more of a question as she shifted on her feet and met the amused eyes of the young man. “Hey, you know, I heard you played guitar once for him. Can I hear?” Slash questioned, setting down the drink he’d just picked up to reach for the guitar that was resting by his side. Rey set down the drink tray cautiously, but accepted the electric from him.

The guitar that Kylo had gotten her was still in her possession. She played it sometimes, when she really felt like it, but couldn’t bear it for very long due to the fact she'd usually go to the cardboard box in her closet filled with things like the band t-shirts and his dog tags right after. Rey pulled the strap over her shoulders and rested her fingers on the strings, the band staring at her as they waited.

For some reason, her fingers started to play the melody of a song she’d worked on so long ago while the lyrics flowed internally through her head. She only played them a small blurb of it, catching herself about halfway through when she realized just exactly what she was playing. “Does that have a name?” Slash inquired as he took a drag from his cigarette.

Rey handed the guitar back for him and shook her head. “No, all I know is that the lyrics at one point are ‘I’ve been waiting for a boy like you’ and that I wrote it a long time ago. Thank you for your time, though,” she told them quickly before leaving the room. She didn’t even grab the drink tray on the way out, desperate to get as far away from the guitar and memories as possible. 

*****

Ben sat outside on the bench by where the ladies did yoga sometimes and closed his eyes, tilting his head up at the sun as a just barely there smile tugged at his lips. A warm breeze blew through his hair and the sound of people walking past on the nearby nature trail filled his ears along with the sound of birds. This was his last day at the rehab center. In a few hours, he’d be discharged for good and ready to go home.

The band members were going to pick him up since his mother and father were having a busy night tonight at the bar, but Ben told them not to worry, he’d see them tomorrow when they were free. He suggested they could go out to lunch or something after he settled into the new apartment that had been set up for him. 

The familiar sound of Amilyn’s heels crunching on the gravel path behind him caught his attention and Ben looked over his shoulder at the therapist who smiled at him. “Hey, big guy. We missed you at lunch today. Were you still planning on attending the meeting today or did you have some things you needed to finish packing?” she asked as she sat down beside him. 

“No, I’ll be attending. Just wanted to soak up some sun today instead of eating more of Klaud’s special pasta,” Ben laughed, shaking his head at the horrible dish that the chef prided himself in and served at least once a month. Amilyn chuckled as well and patted his shoulder with a supportive hand. “You’ve come a long way, Ben. I just want you to know how proud I am of you,” she informed softly. 

He nodded and rested his own hand overtop of hers, watching more people walk past on the nature trail. “Is it bad to say that I’m nervous about leaving? When Snap left all those months ago, he was so certain he’d be alright. I just… I don’t really know,” Ben admitted, turning to the therapist whose eyes were already set upon him. “There are some people like Snap, but there are a lot of people like you when their visit comes to an end, Ben.

“You have a family and friends who love you very much and just want to see you succeed. I’m certain that you can stay strong with their support, and with the main source of negativity out of your life, I think that will help a great deal too,” Amilyn assured. Ben nodded once more at her words and rose from the bench, looking down at her with kind eyes. “Well, I think we should probably go attend that meeting then before everyone gets upset with me for being late again,” Ben teased. 

Amilyn just rolled her eyes and stood as well, shaking her head with a smile. “There are some things that will never change about you, Ben, and being late is one of those things,” she sighed. He chuckled and walked in silence alongside her, filtering into the facility that was slowly starting to quiet down inside while people finished up with the lunch he’d opted out of for the day.

A pang of sadness hit him in the chest when he realized this would be the last time he’d ever have an AA meeting here, but an overwhelming swell of happiness followed quickly after due to the understanding he’d gotten better and was ready to take on the world again. He walked with a slight limp now in his right leg and a scar had formed across his face, but that was all he had to show for the incident that had happened a year ago.

The circle had welcomed him since he first opened up those many months ago and ever since then, he hadn’t been able to shut his mouth. He talked and talked for what seemed like hours every meeting, never having been able to rant about how he felt until then. Amilyn was proud of the fact he was voicing his emotions, and with the support of the group and his therapist, Ben finally began on the road to recovery.

Getting over the drugs was easier than getting over the alcohol. There were days where he felt like he couldn’t go on any longer without just a single drop, but people were always there to lift him up and get him through it until those cravings dwindled more and more until he barely thought about the liquor. He’d stopped smoking cigarettes as well, dropping every bad habit he had within months.

“Well, look who I finally found, everyone,” Amilyn cheered as she walked into the room with the giant man beside her. The group of people laughed and smiled as they saw Ben take his usual spot after lifting a hand in greeting. “I think since this is Ben’s last day with us, we should let him go first,” the therapist explained to everyone. They all nodded and turned their eyes to the star who made himself comfortable in his chair.

“Alright, uh… around a year ago, I had an incident where I got intoxicated and accused my girlfriend at the time of cheating on me. I trashed her apartment as well as my own and scared a lot of people doing so. I caused a lot of pain for the people who loved me, and I caused myself a great deal of pain too. When I woke up after the accident, I was brought here and started my journey to recovery.

“Some of you know that I didn’t talk at first. I barely even looked at people sometimes, and I think that’s just because I was still trying to come to terms with all of the destruction I’d caused for so many lives. It wasn’t until my parents came and revealed just how much of my life was being influenced by a manipulative manager did I realize my terrible behavior had a major cause.

“I think I really started my road to recovery the day they came to visit me and tell me they never stopped trying to reach out to me. I had no idea that they’d been trying that and for so many years I felt like I’d just been given up on. I… I thought that’s what my ex-girlfriend had done to me as well when the article came out. When it came out who was ultimately the cause for both of those things, it was like the chains seemed to break free.

“I’ve been working with Amilyn and all of you every day since and I can confidently say I wouldn’t be here if I hadn’t gotten the help I needed. With all of your endless support and guidance, I can say I feel confident in my ability to make sober choices and choose right from wrong, even if I feel a little nervous about re-entering society. I just… I just need to let all of you know how much I appreciate you and… thank you,” Ben finished. 

Amilyn was the first one to rise from her chair and wrap her arms around him. It wasn’t long before the rest of the group joined in and Ben closed his eyes, savoring the feeling of everyone holding him. “Thank you for letting us help you, Ben. I think I can speak on behalf of everyone here when I say we are so proud of how far you’ve come,” she told him gently.

He nodded gratefully and pulled away from all of them when the door to the meeting room opened and an older gentleman stepped inside, locking eyes with Ben and Amilyn. “I’m sorry to interrupt, but the friends here to pick up Ben have arrived,” he informed the room. It seemed like everyone collectively stopped breathing as the sentence, but Ben was the one who made the move to stand and offer everyone a smile.

“Thank you for helping me find myself. My real self. It’s nice to be Ben again and I owe all of you for helping me find that part of myself I lost. I pray to whatever is above that I get to see all of you again when we’re all in better places down the road. I’ll miss you all,” Ben told them honestly. A few of them wiped away tears and watched as Ben pulled away finally and offered a small wave before turning and heading towards the door.

Nobody said anything else as he left the room and headed down the hallway where the man who’d informed him of his friends’ arrival was waiting for him. “Your bags are already at the main entrance,” the man said with a smile. Ben thanked him and clapped him on the shoulder in appreciation, walking beside him without another word in the direction of the front of the center. 

The familiar faces of Phasma, Hux, and Mitaka came into view only a few minutes later and something lurched inside of Ben’s chest at the sight of his friends waiting for him. They greeted each other with a wordless but giant hug, all of them just holding each other for a long time before releasing and coughing to get rid of the emotions clogged in their throats.

“You, uh, got everything?” Hux asked as he picked up the single suitcase Kylo had in his possession. “Yeah, that’s all of it,” Ben agreed, clapping his friends on the back and waving to the staff as they all watched him go. As soon as Ben stepped outside of the rehab center and walked in the direction of the black car waiting for him, he knew that he was taking the first steps towards a new life.

*****

Rey woke the next morning to the sun streaming through her window. She didn’t work on the weekends, thank God, but she was still exhausted from the night before. The Guns N’ Roses concert lasted hours upon hours and Rey didn’t get home until five in the morning, so it was safe to say she was only running on a couple hours of sleep at this point. 

She groaned and rolled over onto her back, stretching out all of her limbs before she rose from the bed and padded in the direction of the kitchen to get started on some coffee. It seemed like a beautiful day out and Rey was about to reach for the phone to call Rose and ask if she wanted to go shopping when the sound of the tv, apparently still on from forgetting to turn it off last night, caught her attention.

“-has returned to his new apartment in Hollywood yesterday morning after spending a little under a year in rehab. The star is reportedly relaxing with friends and working recording new music and he adjusts back into daily life,” the reporter said. Rey stopped what she was doing and watched as the screen cut away to shakily recorded footage of Kylo and the other members exiting a vehicle outside of a new apartment complex.

“The rockstar has reported he no longer wishes to go by the name of Kylo Ren, and now prefers to be called Ben Solo. The band will, however, remain the Knights of Ren, but have decided to change their management and production to mother Leia Organa’s company instead.”

With that, the news cut away to something else, leaving Rey with a numb feeling as she stared at the screen that had moved on to some ridiculous story she couldn’t bother to care about. Ben was out of rehab and didn’t want to be called Kylo anymore. And he was signing to his mother’s label. She nibbled on her bottom lip and glanced to the phone yet again, the soft clank of dog tags around her neck echoing in her memories.

But when she reached up to touch where they would have rested, her fingers found nothing and disappointment swelled inside of her. As much as Rey didn’t want to talk to him or the band, she still cared about the person she loved all those months ago. She wanted to call him and ask how rehab was and if he felt better and what he was going to do with his life now, but she found herself dialing Rose’s number instead and putting her worries out of her mind.

No, it was time to move on from the rockstar. Their romance had been a long time ago and left both of them damaged, so there was nothing left for her to say. Rose answered on the third ring with a chipper, “Hello?” and Rey jumped a little at the voice, forgetting in seconds that she had called her friend. “H-Hey! Did you want to go shopping today? I’m in the mood for getting some more albums,” Rey quickly covered.

Rose agreed happily to meet her at their favorite record store and not even fifteen minutes later, Rey was out the door in a pair of bell bottoms and a crop top. She pushed up her black sunglasses as a means to hide part of her face and let her arms swing happily by her side while the summer sun cascaded down upon her skin. She didn’t even make it twenty steps away from her apartment when she heard Kylo’s name being mentioned.

“Apparently they’ve already written all the songs for the album and they just need to record them,” one man said to another as Rey approached them on the opposite side of the sidewalk. “I gotta hand it to you, I’m sad he isn’t Kylo anymore, but I sure am glad that he’s back making music,” the other man admitted. Rey just ducked her head as she passed and crossed her arms over her chest.

With the news that Kylo was officially out of rehab and working on music again, Rey felt like life was going to get tougher from now on as the media would be swarming the topic for months. But she took in a deep breath and tried to push it out of her mind once more when she reached the record store and found Rose already browsing the aisles inside. 

“Look what I found!” Rose cheered when she caught sight of Rey, lifting an Elton John record that Rey had yet to collect for her record stash. All thoughts of Ben flew out of her mind as she rushed forward and grasped the new album in awe with wide eyes. “Oh my God! I can’t believe they have it!” Rey gasped, twisting the thing around in her hands to eye it up. “Mhm! I saw it right at the front and grabbed it for you. But now, I’m gonna go look at AC/DC,” Rose giggled.

Rey just waved her off and stared down at the album before clutching it under her arm and dumbly walking through the aisles as well, stunned and dazed at the fact she finally got the album she wanted. But it felt like a bucket of ice water suddenly crashed down on her when she came to the section starting with K and saw that it was filled with the Knights of Ren albums in celebration of Ben’s return.

She stared at all of the pretty covers for what felt like hours and didn’t even notice she was holding their most recent album before he’d gone to rehab until it was between her hands. Rey swallowed thickly and flipped it over to the back, her eyes finding the title  _ Dream On _ as number one on the album. “Oh,” she breathed out, running her thumbs over the plastic covered record.

“That’s a good album,” a familiar voice said from beside her. Rey froze in her spot, but slowly lifted her head to find the kind eyes of Mitaka staring back at her. He cocked his head curiously to the side and pointed to the album she was still holding. “Some of our best, I’d say,” he continued, pushing away from where he was standing to approach her.

Rey felt like a fish out of water as she stared at the band member who carefully took the album out of her hold and looked at it himself. “Hm… seems like so long ago now, doesn’t it?” Mitaka asked, still gazing upon the red record. “Uh, yeah… yeah, it does,” Rey agreed, snapping out of her haze to pull herself back to the real world. 

Mitaka set the album back down in its place and held up the bag containing whatever records he had bought to show he was on his way out. “Well… you look good, Rey. It’s nice to see you,” he complimented with a tight smile before nodding and turning to walk away. Before Rey could think any better, she called out, “Wait!” The drummer stopped and turned with a curious expression.

Rey shifted on her feet and bit at her bottom lip before asking softly, “Is he okay?” Mitaka smiled then and gave a simple nod, only replying, “He misses you,” before he turned once more and left for good. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope y'all enjoyed! Did a big time jump so we could get to more fun/ important things now ;)   
> As always, be kind in the comments xx


	15. Born to be Wild

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy! xx  
> P.S. I kinda edited this while I was drunk so sorry if there's any mistakes.

Ben stared at the contract that was slid across the desk to him and narrowed his sights on the blank line that required his signature. When he looked beside him, his three friends were already signing with a look of pride. Ben flicked his gaze up to his mother’s kind face who smiled back at him and without another moment of hesitation, Ben picked up the nearby pen and signed his name in big sweeping cursive.

They all pushed their contract back to Leia and her lawyer, a feeling of relief seeming to wash over all of them. “Well, with this, we can release the entire album tomorrow,” Leia stated, handing the contracts to the serious looking man behind her who opened up a briefcase and stuffed the papers inside. “And they’ll be everywhere?” Mitaka asked, tapping his fingers on the wood in curiosity. 

Ben’s mother nodded with a pleased look and then all of the band members were sharing excited and happy looks. It had been two weeks since Ben had come back from rehab, though it only took two days for them to record all of the songs he’d written. Leia acted quickly when it came to production, and as of four days ago, the album was ready to hit stores nationwide. All they needed to do was sign some contracts which had just been completed.

The bandmates all rose from their chairs and started to head out of the room, but Ben stayed behind in his chair along with his mother who wore an expression that said she knew exactly why he was staying behind. “You’re thinking about her, aren’t you?” Leia asked sympathetically. He nodded without a word and glanced at the album cover that showed off a blurred black and white version of the first picture ever captured of him and Rey together.

It was on the back of his motorcycle after leaving the LA show where she’d performed to the crowd, but the album title  **BORN TO BE WILD** was plastered across the center of it in red lettering. He swallowed thickly and finally gave in, reaching out to grab the album off of the desk and flip it over so that he could look at the song list-- every single one of them written for her.

I Don’t Want To Miss A Thing

More Than Words

Waiting For A Girl Like You

I Want To Know What Love Is

Born To Be Wild

Crazy

Angel

Can’t Fight This Feeling

No One Like You

Here I Go Again

He stroked his finger over the first song, the song that he’d written for her what seemed like so long ago. It was a stretch to write an entire album for one girl and he was well aware he’d probably be criticized for it, but Ben didn’t care. Rey didn’t want to talk to him, her best friend had made that painfully clear, and this was all he could offer to show how sorry he was and how much he still loved her.

If Ben was being honest, he hadn’t stopped thinking about the Catholic girl since he woke up in the hospital, and while he never really talked about her much in rehab, his thoughts were swamped with her. God, what he would give to just see her smile again or hear her laugh. Or see those dog tags around her neck. Ben bit his bottom lip and set the record back down before meeting his mother’s eyes.

“Han says she’s doing really well at the Bourbon Room. They love her there and she’s making good money. She’s changed her style, dyed her hair a bit darker, but she’s still got her bangs and bellbottoms like you talked about,” Leia told him gently, observing her son’s face as he nodded and looked away. All he could do now was pick up details about her life from others.

Mitaka had told him that he’d seen her at the record store a few weeks ago holding one of their albums, staring at it really, but they didn’t talk much. The drummer told him she was holding an Elton John record, too. It was a simple detail, but Ben went out that night and bought every single fucking Elton John and The Beatles album he could find, knowing those were her favorites.

He’d sent them in a giant box to her new apartment, thanks to quite a bit of begging to his father for her new address, and he assumed she’d kept them considering he sent them over a week ago and didn’t get them back. “Well… I’m glad to hear she's doing alright,” Ben coughed, opting to stand up now and join the band members probably waiting for him outside.

“She works tonight,” Leia stated bluntly when he turned around. Ben froze in his next step and cautiously looked over his shoulder at his mother who had cocked her head to the side and dropped the smile to something more serious. “I’ll keep that in mind,” Ben replied, finally turning for good and running a nervous hand through his wild black hair that desperately needed a cut. 

Sure enough, his friends were waiting outside and Ben gave them a reassuring nod before slinging an arm around Hux and starting to head for the door. “We heard what your mom said,” Phasma pointed out when they stepped outside of the production building and walked towards the car waiting for them. “Yeah? What’d you hear?” Ben asked, averting his eyes while they clambered inside.

“That she works tonight. Are we going or what?” Mitaka asked, raising an eyebrow at the lead singer. Ben just sighed and looked at all of his friends warily. “She doesn’t want to see me and doesn’t want to talk to me. I don’t think it’s a good idea,” he protested. His friends just rolled his eyes at him and it was Phasma who leaned forward with serious eyes.

Everyone seemed to shut up as she slapped her hand on his thigh and said, “Ben. You are a rockstar. You don’t do ‘I don’t think it’s a good idea.’ You go to that bar, you find her in the crowd, you beg over and over and over until she agrees to talk to you, and then you pour your fucking heart and soul into an apology.” The entire car was silent for a few moments while Ben blinked at his friend and nodded.

“Y-yeah, okay,” he agreed through a choked up throat, deciding it probably wasn’t best to argue with a woman who most likely knew what women would like. So the group of friends descended into planning out how the interaction was going to go while Ben sank further and further in his seat, only thinking about the color of her eyes and what she’d look like when he finally spotted her in the crowd once more.

*****

Rey squeezed herself into the black crop top and zipped up her bootcut jeans before pulling on a pair of chunky black heels. She blew her bangs out of her eyes, taking note she’d have to trim them at some point, then left the employee bathroom to enter the chaotic bar already packed with people. Some local up-and-coming bands were performing tonight, meaning the bar was jam packed with bodies ready to say they had been fans from the very beginning.

It didn’t bother Rey too much, though. To be honest, it just meant more money in her back pocket and more good times to be had. “Hey, Rey! Come here real quick!” the familiar voice of Finn called from her left. She whipped her head to the side and pushed herself through some people walking towards the floor before the stage. “What is it?” she asked, leaning in so she could actually hear what he was saying over the crowd.

“I don’t want to alarm you, but… the Knights of Ren just showed up around back. Poe came and told me. Something about them being interested in adding another member to the band and wanting to scout people out. I just wanted to let you know in case… you know…” the older man said suggestively. Rey blinked at his words, not really understanding Ben was here until it hit her hard a few seconds later.

“I… yeah, okay. Thanks,” she managed to get out, turning away from the front where people were still trying to get in. Ben was here with the band and somewhere in the crowd. She pursed her lips together and picked up her speed to head to the bar where D’Acy was pouring drinks like crazy as usual. “Rey! Go take these to Lando and Han, yeah?” the bartender cried over the noise.

Rey nodded weakly and picked up the tray filled with shots and beers, heading expertly in the direction of the back hallway that also contained the office shared by the older owners. Rey knocked on the door, holding her breath as she hoped it really was just Lando and Han inside and not the band she had been trying to keep her heart away from all these months. She nearly sobbed in relief when Han opened the door with a grin and took the tray from her.

“There you are. Here, come have a quick drink with your old men,” he urged, stepping aside to reveal the empty room except for Lando sitting on the worn out couch a few feet away from their two overcrowded desks. “You sure I should do that? I thought drinking on the job wasn’t allowed,” Rey teased as she smiled at them and followed Han inside. 

Lando just waved it off with a laugh as Han set down the tray in the middle of the messy table poorly placed in the disorganized room. Rey didn’t know how they kept track of everything in this room, but the old St. Bernard dog named Chewie they had keeping watch over the office seemed to know where to fetch whatever they desired when they needed it. 

Han handed her one of the shots of clear liquid and Rey shivered at the sight of it, but accepted it anyway with a look of gratitude. “Thanks, Han,” she murmured. Once everyone had a glass in their hand, they cheered with giant grins and downed the clear alcohol that had Rey regretting the fact she’d ever applied to work here. “Do you need me for anything else or just drinks?” she asked with a laugh.

“No, no! Get out there, kid!” Han groaned, still trying to settle with the harsh liquor he’d swallowed. Rey contemplated telling him that his son was in attendance, but decided against it since he seemed happy with Lado and opted to leave the office with a smile. She didn’t even make it one step outside of the door, though, before crashing into a broad and sturdy frame that she recognized almost immediately from having run into before.

With wide eyes and parted lips, Rey slowly lifted her gaze to meet the equally stunned expression of Ben staring back down at her. Her grip on the tray tucked under her right arm tightened considerably and she was about to say something when he blurted out stupidly, “Your hair is darker.” Rey furrowed her eyebrows at the statement and timidly lifted her fingers to touch the ponytail hanging behind her head.

“Yes…” she whispered, her eyes never leaving his. The silence that enveloped them seemed to last for hours and Rey quickly licked her lips, moving first as she dropped her gaze and took a step away from the rock star. “I-I’m sorry. Your father’s inside with Lando,” Rey rushed, turning around to scurry away in the next instant when a hand gently grasped her wrist and stopped her in her tracks. “Rey…” Ben pleaded so softly from behind her, she didn’t even know if he really said her name.

The tears welled up faster than she could blink them away, and when she looked over her shoulder next, it was with hot rivers running down her cheeks. “What do you want, Ben?” she asked in a thick and hushed tone. The agony was clear in his eyes that he was hurting just from seeing her in pain and knowing he was the cause, but he dropped her wrist and took in a deep breath.

“I came to apologize to you. For everything. I have caused you so much pain and I need you to know how sorry I am, Rey. I never wanted to hurt you, but I did, and it kills me every day to know that I was the one who ruined your life. I… I haven’t stopped thinking about you and my feelings are the same as they were a year ago, but I just… I’m sorry, Rey, and I had to say this,” he told her through a strained voice. 

She stared at him, this man who looked so much the same but sounded so different. There was a new air to him, one that actually seemed present with the world around him, like it didn’t revolve around him in the slightest. Rey let her eyes drift over his face, drinking it in with the realization that no beauty marks had moved, his lips hadn’t shrunk, his eyes were still chocolate, and his nose was still long. 

His inky black hair still whipped around his face in messy curls along with the middle parted bangs he sported and he was still cloaked in all black, but… but this was not Kylo. No, this was Ben. Rey bit her bottom lip and made quick work of wiping away her tears before slowly turning to face him head on. He was still so tall, towering over her and casting a shadow on her suddenly trembling frame, but Rey couldn’t hold herself back from reaching out with a shaky hand and placing it over his heart.

It still pumped strongly inside of his chest and Rey flicked her hazel eyes up to meet his confused and desperate ones. “I’m sorry, Rey. I’m sorry,” Ben whispered, placing his hand cautiously overtop of hers. She blinked back the tears that threatened to fall down her cheeks yet again, but she ultimately found herself nodding and biting back a sob. “You look… you look good,” Rey murmured.

Ben let out a humored breath at her observation and reached out with his free hand to brush the tips of her bangs over her eyebrows with a fond expression. “You do too. I just wanted to see you one last time, if this was the last time,” he told her gently. She pulled her hand away and then took another step back to put distance between them. 

His hand was still raised as if he was going to keep playing with her hair, but he eased it back down and shut his mouth in fear he’d just fucked it up. Instead, Rey steadied her hand back on the tray and shifted on her feet while she opened her mouth and began to spill everything. “You hurt me really badly, Ben. I was in love with you, I know that now, and you were the only man I’d ever truly been in love with.

“You made me feel… alive, and I loved it. I loved you. When that article came out, the one saying I was cheating on you, the last thing I expected was for you to come into my apartment drunk and trash the place while screaming that I was a liar. I did nothing but adore you, Ben. Even when you were Kylo, I loved you. And to be told that my emotions and actions were false hurt more than any defamation against my character could have. 

“Did I know what I was getting myself into when I started dating you? No. But was I willing to take anything and everything if it meant keeping you by my side? Yes. I… I’m glad that you’re better, Ben. I really am. I was so scared when the news came out that you were hurt and in the hospital. Even when my heart was broken, it still beat for you out of care. It’s been a long time, Ben. A year, really. And while I probably should be over what happened by now, I’m still… unsure.

“I’m glad that you’re here a sober and apologetic man, but it’s going to take a lot more than just showing up while I’m at my job to say you’re sorry to put my heart back together. I don’t have work tomorrow, so if you want to, um, see me… I don’t mind talking,” she finally finished, attempting to lift her chin to show dominance. Ben was already nodding, looking at her like his life depended on it.

“Yes. Yes, I’d like to talk to you tomorrow. Please,” Ben added at the end of his statement. Rey nodded and looked over her shoulder when the sound of her name was shouted from who she assumed to be D’Acy. “I-I have to get back to work, but, um… I think you already know where I live, don’t you?” Rey asked, starting to back up so she could return to work.

Ben blushed and nodded, wiping a hand down the side of his face while he watched her offer him a small smile with watery eyes. “Thank you, by the way… the albums are lovely,” Rey whispered. And with that, she spun around quickly on her feet and dashed back to work while Ben stood there stunned outside of his father’s office. Fuck, he was going to talk to Rey tomorrow.

“You gonna stand out there all day or come inside and talk to your old man?” Han’s voice abruptly sounded from beside him. Ben jumped at the sound and whirled to the side to see the office door cracked open, Han and Lando’s faces peeking out from behind the slim opening. “Jesus Christ…” Ben grumbled, pushing into the office with one last look in the direction of where Rey had gone. 

*****

The album was on the front of her doorstep the next morning. Rey stared at it, the black and white blurred covering of her and Ben on the back of his motorcycle. The title  **BORN TO BE WILD** was printed in bold red lettering and Rey let her fingertips run over it. It wasn’t packaged in the clear plastic like all records were, and when Rey opened the record, she let out a breath of disbelief at the number 1 in the bottom left corner. 

Blinking back more tears that promised to make her cheeks blotchy if they fell, Rey closed her apartment door and slowly walked towards the record player on the shelving next to her bed. She nibbled at her bottom lip as she tugged the black record out of its sheathing and placed it on the circular base. The needle was set down on top of it next and Rey drew her knees up to her chest as she sat on the floor and waited for the music to start.

Her fingers fiddled absentmindedly with the dog tags and when the swell of violins, brass, and drums began, Rey’s heart stopped. “I could stay awake just to hear your breathing… watch you smile while you are sleeping, while you're far away and dreaming. I could spend my life in this sweet surrender… I could stay lost in this moment forever… 

“Every moment spent with you is a moment I treasure. I don’t want to close my eyes, I don’t want to fall asleep because I’d miss you, babe, and I don’t want to miss a thing. ‘Cause even when I dream of you, the sweetest dream would never do. I’d still miss you, babe, and I don’t want to miss a thing.” His voice was like honey in her ears and the tears she’d tried to hold back were now relentless down her face.

It was the song he’d written for her.

Rey furiously wiped her eyes and continued to listen, making note of the perfect swells of instruments in the background and desperation in the voice she hadn’t realized she’d missed so much. It was a beautiful song, full of passion and emotion, and Rey stayed put in that exact position for roughly an hour, listening to the entire record play through once. 

_ More than words is all you have to do to make it real…  _

_ I’ve been waiting for a girl like you to come into my life…  _

_ I wanna feel what love is, I know you can show me…  _

_ Yeah, you drive me crazy, crazy, crazy for you baby…  _

_ Baby, you're my angel, come and save me tonight…  _

_ 'Cause I can't fight this feeling anymore, I've forgotten what I started fighting for…  _

_ There's no one like you, I can't wait for the nights with you…  _

_ And I've made up my mind, I ain't wasting no more time…  _

Every single line from every single song just made Rey’s heart swell and shatter at the same time and when the record finally went silent with no more songs able to be listened to, she realized that the entire album was written for her. She wiped her red and wet face one more time for good measure before looking down at the dog tags still getting rubbed by her fingers.

Without a second thought, Rey stood up from her floor and walked towards the phone on her kitchen wall only to dial in his number with the hope it still worked. The groggy morning voice belonging only to Ben answered on the second ring with, “Hello?” Rey startled at the sound of his voice, something she’d gotten used to not hearing anymore, but she managed to get out softly, “I listened to the album.”

There was some shuffling in the background of the phone, obviously him sitting up, and Rey waited patiently for his response. “Yeah? Do you, uh, like it?” he asked, nervousness seeping into his question. Rey bit back a smile and nodded as she breathed out, “Yeah. I like it. Can you… can you come over? I still want to talk.” Even more shuffling sounded and Rey had to hold back a giggle as she imagined the rock star tumbling out of bed.

“Yes, yeah, I can be there in ten. Is that okay?” he asked anxiously. “Yeah, that works. I’ll see you, Ben.” Rey hung up before she could hear what he had to say back, too scared by the wild beating of her heart and butterflies in her stomach. She internally cursed herself for already seeming to be excited to see him again when she’d just spent nearly a year trying to get over him for the incident, but everything seemed to betray that part of her brain trying to be logical.

With a sigh, Rey shuffled to her closet and tugged the dog tags off to put them in the cardboard box filled with all of the things that reminded her of their relationship. She stared at it for a longer time than intended, but finally managed to tug on some shorts over her rainbow bodysuit, opting to leave her hair down today instead of its usual ponytail. 

She collapsed on her bed, tilting her head to the side to look at the record player that still had the record resting on top of it. Tempted to play it just once more before Ben came, her desires were squashed when the sound of knocking suddenly came to her front door.  _ Fuck, had ten minutes passed already?  _ Rey nervously rose from the bed and padded towards the front door, peeping through the hole to see Ben’s equally anxious frame on the other side.

With a deep and calming breath, she unlocked the latches on the door and opened it only to lock her eyes on him in the next instant. “Hi,” he breathed out, seeming to freeze on her doorstep. She offered a timid smile and murmured back, “Hey,” before opening the door wider and allowing him to come inside. So this was it, then. 

This was the talk. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope y'all enjoyed! As always, be kind in the comments xx


	16. More Than Words

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy! xx

They sat on her bed, her against the headboard and him on the end. Ben wasn’t really sure how to start, and to be honest, neither was Rey. Instead, he glanced at the record player on the shelves beside her bed and spotted the album he’d written for her still resting within the player. “I’m glad you liked it,” he said, unable to actually think of anything else to say as they both sat there.

Rey nodded, fiddling with her fingers like she always did, and when their eyes met again for the millionth time since he came in, she finally gave a deflated sigh. “Listen, Ben… what happened a year ago was a mess. Let’s just start there with agreeing on that,” she stated. Ben nodded and put all of his attention on her, his eyes looking like that of a lost puppy.

“I think that a lot of what happened was attributed to the fact that you were drunk and addicted to alcohol, among other things. I think that what resulted with, you know, trashing my apartment and grabbing me and yelling at me was ultimately due to the fact that you weren’t sober,” Rey finished, staring into his chocolate eyes. Ben nodded once more and shifted a little.

When she said nothing else, he realized that it was his turn to talk. “Yes… I think all of my poor decisions were a result from my addiction to alcohol. When we signed with Snoke, he just always told me it was part of being a rockstar, and I believed him like I did with everything. I realize now just how much I was manipulated by him, but I can’t blame everything on him.

“It was me who developed the addiction and me who came here drunk and me ultimately ruined our relationship. Did Snoke release all of those stories and information to the media? Yes. But it was me who acted on it all, and for that, I am so sorry, Rey. The destruction I’ve caused from costing you your job to just having the incident stuck to your back… I can never fix that,” he explained. 

Rey nibbled on her bottom lip, obviously trying to hold back tears, and nodded. “Yeah… you’re right… but I could have done things differently too,” she whispered. Ben frowned and immediately lurched forward, attempting to grab her attention as she looked down to avoid his horrified eyes. “Rey, no. _ No, _ none of this was your fault at all. Please, this was all my fault. All of it. You did nothing but love me and trust me and I fucked it all up.  _ Please,” _ he begged. 

She wiped under her eyes and shook her head as he reached out for her, seeming to catch himself when he realized she could wipe away her tears herself. “No, I mean… I could’ve gotten you help sooner or… or just said straight up that it was a lie instead of pestering you further when you came in with the article,” Rey told him in something that resembled a whimper. 

Ben’s heart seemed to shatter into a million pieces when she looked up with glassy eyes and a trembling bottom lip. “Rey. What happened isn’t your fault and it never will be. I was drunk out of my mind and I promise you anything you did differently would have resulted in the same outcome. I was the only one who could help myself. Even if you dropped me off on rehab’s doorstep a month before the incident happened, I wouldn't be what I am right now. I did it myself,” he argued.

Rey swallowed thickly and took a moment to just take in Ben’s appearance. His usually wild black hair was more tame and clean, falling in perfect curls to his shoulders while his choppy bangs feathered out on his forehead. His chocolate eyes shone with something new and bright while the whites of his eyes were pure of toxins. His lips were pink like raspberries and the bags he usually had under his eyes were gone.

His skin seemed tanner and he’d gotten more freckles on his face aside from those beautiful moles she always adored. His hands didn’t tremble like they used to sometimes, something she always figured was a result from playing the guitar, and his entire body just appeared healthier. Everything seemed fuller and leaner all at once and Rey realized right then and there that he was never going back again.

“I’m glad you’re better, Ben. Like I said back at the Bourbon Room… I think we definitely have a ways to go before we’re back to anything that we had but… but I want to work on it. Getting back to what we had, I mean…” Rey murmured. He stared at her for what seemed like hours, a mix of emotions washing over his face in rapid succession. Confusion, happiness, shock, denial, hope, all of it was there.

“I’m not saying, you know… immediately jump back in. I’m still hurt from what happened, Ben, obviously I am. I just mean I want to spend time with you again and… and maybe… maybe fall in love with you again,” Rey clarified, her own sense of insecurity seeping through. He nodded, his head bobbing in clear and excited agreement. “Yes. Yes, I’d like that,” Ben admitted.

They both sat there for a while, unsure of how to really move forward, but it was Ben who noticed her work t-shirt strewn across the nearby chair. “Do you like working at the Bourbon Room at least?” he asked, a hint of sadness laced into his words. Rey smiled and looked at the shirt as well, fond memories of all her shifts pouring into her mind along with the music every night that pumped through her veins.

“Yeah, I love it. It’s not what I wanted to do, you know, but… I can’t see myself anywhere else now. It’s a great job and I can’t complain considering there’s a new band every night,” she laughed, reclining in her bed as their conversation started to become a little more relaxed. Ben smiled as well and shook his head, looking up at her underneath his curls to inspect her happy face.

She looked just as vibrant as when he left her. Her hair was a darker brown, but it worked beautifully with her tanned skin, and those bangs he loved so much were still perfect above hazel eyes. She’d gotten more freckles across her nose from the sun, but her face was the same in nearly all aspects and Ben never felt more relief than he did now. 

“Can I ask you something?” Rey piped up, the smile slowly fading off of her face. Ben nodded and shifted on the end of her bed, anxious for whatever she was about to ask but willing to answer all of her questions if it meant he got to be around her again. “What was rehab like?” she asked in a timid voice. Ben blinked a few times, obviously caught off guard at the simple question due to the fact he was expecting something more intense. 

He scratched the back of his head and gave her a shrug while he figured out where to begin. “I liked it, I guess. I wasn’t really warm to it in the beginning, but I think that’s because I was filled with a lot of guilt and anger at myself for what happened. Then my parents came and visited me and they told me all these things about how they always cared for me and never stopped trying to reach me and something just kinda snapped inside of me… 

“I took the meetings more seriously, made a few friends to support me when things got rough, and spent a lot of my time writing music to clear my head. I mean, sure, withdrawals were hard, but I think having to come to terms with the fact I was the only one who could fix the mess I made was harder,” he admitted freely, their eyes never leaving each other’s faces.

Rey nodded along and bit her bottom lip, a tendency Ben had forgotten she did but suddenly craved to see again and again. He knew that the conversation they were having right now was serious and important, but  _ God _ did he want to kiss her. He’d missed her lips more than anyone in the world could possibly imagine, and when his eyes flicked back up to meet hers after glancing down, it was clear she knew what he was looking at.

Her cheeks went pink and her eyes darted away to look at the record instead that was still on the shelf. “You wrote really good songs in rehab, I have to admit,” Rey told him, trying to turn the conversation again. “It was easy when you were all I thought about,” Ben told her. Those hazel eyes met his once again, now looking like a scared animal that didn’t know which way to go.

He knew he was starting to get dangerously close to a topic that didn’t necessarily constitute as ‘starting slow’, but Ben needed to tell her, and he needed to tell her now. “Rey, I never stopped loving you. Every single day that I was in rehab, all I could think about was you and how I could make it up to you. You plagued my thoughts and my songs and my heart and my everything. I… I  _ still _ love you.

“And I respect that you want to start slow. I’ll respect that too, I will. If it means getting to see you and spend time with you, and maybe have you again, then I’ll do anything for you. I just need you to know that I love you. I loved you then and I love you now. And I’ve been an asshole, Rey. A complete and utter asshole. I ruined your career and your home and your everything and I’m still selfish enough to say I love you.

“When I saw you yesterday at the bar, I fully expected you to run in the other direction or curse me out or spit on me, Rey. God knows I deserve it, but… you didn’t. I’m still stunned that I’m actually here right now, but I’m so sorry, Rey. I can apologize a million different ways every single day for the rest of my life if it means getting to see your face again.

“And if you find that I’m not the one for you anymore, and I never will be again, I’ll respect that. I’ll always love you, Rey, but I’d rather see you happy with someone else than miserable and stuck with me. The last thing I want is-” Ben didn’t get to finish his sentence. In the next instant, Rey was flinging herself towards him and pressing her lips against his like her life depended on it.

Stunned and caught completely off guard, Ben tumbled backwards from the edge of the bed and wrapped his arms around her, bringing her with him as they collapsed onto the floor. Rey braced herself on either side of him with wide eyes, lifting her head as they both stared at each other in shock. “I-I shouldn’t have done that. I’m so sorry. I know I said slow but I… I never stopped loving you either and-” 

It was Ben’s turn to cut her off as he threaded his fingers into her hair and pulled her back down to his lips, both of them relaxing immediately as a feeling of familiarity and safety washed over them. Her lips were just as soft and warm as he remembered and Ben couldn’t help but groan against her in complete and utter joy. Rey grinned against his lips, but only pressed herself closer against him.

He reached out to tug at his dog tags like he used to do when they were together, but his hands found nothing and instead just gripped the collar of her bodysuit. Ben frowned and pulled away, staring at her neck that no longer had his necklace around it, and Rey blushed when she realized what he was looking for. “I still have them, I just… boxed them up,” she told him honestly. 

Ben shook his head in understanding and sat up a little bit, Rey making herself comfortable as she sat on his lap and nervously tucked her hair back. “Okay, maybe… maybe we don’t start from a strangers level but… I still want to take it slow. I don’t want to say we’re dating yet, but I do… I do want to be with you. I’m putting a lot of faith into you, Ben. But I’m not going to do it again if something happens like it did before,” she told him honestly. 

He agreed with her immediately and reached out without really thinking to tug on her bangs that he missed. “I promise I won’t ever hurt you again. I  _ promise, _ Rey,” Ben whispered. Their eyes locked again, both of them filled with an emotion that could only be described as hope that this would work out as it should have the first time, and then they were kissing again.

It was slow and sweet, a kiss that conveyed just how much they had missed each other. His hands were warm on either side of her face and her hands were dainty on his massive shoulders. Ben still wore ripped jeans and Rey still wore her bellbottoms, a clear sign that they hadn’t changed the best parts of themselves, only the worst.

When they pulled away, Rey resting her forehead against his, Ben ghosted his fingertips over her plain neck. Even her cross was gone now, but he didn’t want to say anything in fear she would get upset. Instead, he blurted out, “Can I get you new dog tags?” Both of them seemed to jerk at what he’d just said and Rey blinked for a moment as she tried to take in what he word vomited at her. 

“You want to get me new dog tags?” she asked back to him curiously. Ben nodded with a faint blush on his cheeks and quickly looked away, embarrassed at how that had come out of his mouth so fast without him really thinking. “Yeah… yeah, I’d like that,” Rey murmured back to him. Ben’s head perked up in surprise as a grin spread across his face, and in the next instant, they were standing up and Rey was being tugged against him.

For a moment, he just held her close, breathing in her scent and taking in the fact that she was really here before him. She smelled the same and his head was still able to rest on the top of her hair. Rey’s body was still so small against his and Ben wanted nothing more than to protect her now. Damn his music and his career if it meant never having her in his arms again. He vowed internally, right then and there, that he was never going to do anything that would hurt a fucking cell in her body ever again. 

“Ben? I can’t breathe,” Rey wheezed against him humorously. “Fuck, sorry,” Ben rushed, pulling away only to slip his hand into hers right after. They both looked down at where their hands linked together, but Rey just smiled and brushed up against him with a fond look that Ben had missed so much to receive. “Do you really want to hold my hand when we go outside?” he asked nervously.

Rey bit her bottom lip and thought about everything the media would say, but at this point, they’d already done their worst. Rey had a job she loved now, friends that she was happy to share her days with, and now, a man who had changed himself for the best and swore he’d never go back. And they both loved each other, so… yes, she really did want to hold his hand again.

Call her silly for going back so soon after being hurt, but Rey needed this man and it was clear this man needed her. He’d gone to rehab, he proved that his apology was genuine, and he confessed just how much he loved her. Rey could frankly care less what everyone else thought if they figured she was too forgiving or going back too fast. 

She loved Ben and she could see it as clear as day that he was willing to be the best he could possibly be in order to keep her. With a smile, Rey just squeezed his hand and tugged him in the direction of the front door. “Come on, rockstar. I want my new dog tags you’re promising me,” she teased. Ben beamed back at her, and with that, they exited the apartment to head out to the streets of Hollywood.

*****

It hit the newsstands the next day in big, bold letters.

**ROCKSTAR RESCUES ROCKY RELATIONSHIP.**

What followed was a three page article going into depth on Rey and Ben’s relationship before rehab, when the incident happened, Ben’s rehab, and their adventure outside yesterday which took up a whopping page and a half. So many pictures had been taken of them holding hands again, both of them in sunglasses as new dog tags with the engraving  _ ‘I promise’ _ dangled around Rey’s neck.

Of course, they’d spent the whole day together after their little venture out, and Rey had shown him the box filled with all of the things she tucked away after their breakup. They went through it together, smiling at some things while looking sadly at others. When she held up the old tags with  _ ‘Kylo’s girl’ _ etched into them, they both nodded as she wordlessly put them back in the box.

She wasn’t Kylo’s anymore. She was Ben’s. 

They pulled out the guitar next and Ben listened for what seemed like hours as she played him tunes she’d come up with while he was in rehab. Of course, that led to Ben pulling out her old journal that had been shoved in there and writing lyrics to go along with them. By the time dinner had rolled around, they’d both played with the crazy idea of writing an album together.

And by the time midnight came and went, they were furiously scribbling down lyrics while eating day old spaghetti Rey had heated up for them as she plucked strings on her guitar. They laughed, smiled, sang, strummed, and messed around like old times. When Rey finally started yawning at around two in the morning, Ben suggested sleep, but she only agreed to it if it meant he stayed. 

There was no funny business, not even any kissing as they put the instrument and journal away and clambered into her bed. All he did was hold her close and make sure that she was comfortable. When Rey woke the next morning, it was to an empty bed and a panicked heart. But as soon as she sat up to look around, she spotted Ben in the kitchen making breakfast with the paper open beside him.

Rey slowly got out of bed and crossed her arms over her new dog tags to quiet them as she padded over to him and carefully wrapped her arms around his waist from behind. Ben jumped a little at the sudden action but laughed when he realized who it was and lifted his arm to peer down at her. “Fucking hell, you scared me,” he chuckled. “Mhm, that was the goal. What’s the paper say?” she asked, already knowing full well what to expect. 

Of course, she read the headline and skimmed the three pages, but found she ultimately didn’t care what the media thought about their growing relationship again. All she needed to know was that she had the best parts of Ben to herself yet again and she’d never felt more hope than she did now as he cooked breakfast for the both of them with a smile.

“You know… I know we were just laughing about the idea of writing an album together last night, but I’d actually really like to try. I, uh… I reached out to the band members this morning while you were still asleep and they obviously had some questions but… they want you to join us. Play guitar I mean,” Ben explained after flipping some bacon in the pan before him.

Rey was stunned at what he just told her, but she took in a deep breath and buried her face against his back. “That’s a lot, Ben…” she admitted, not really sure what she should say to an offer like joining the band as a guitarist. Did they really even need that many guitars? Nibbling on her bottom lip, she already started to weigh the pros and cons of the situation when Ben turned around with a kind smile.

He cupped her face and tilted her head back so he could gaze into her eyes and told her with a tone that hinted at amusement, “I don’t mean overnight, Rey. This is something we’d work on, put a lot of heart and soul into, and by the end of it, if you want to join us on a tour or not, that’d be up to you. It’s a process and I just got you back. I don’t want to rush into anything if it doesn’t include you alongside me.”

She nodded and was about to open her mouth to say something when the sharp ring of the phone on her wall cut through their conversation. With a raised eyebrow and an entertained grin, Ben jerked his head in the direction of it before turning back to the breakfast that was almost done. Huffing at the interruption, Rey practically stomped to the phone and picked it up off the wall, answering with her best hello she could muster that didn’t hint at the fact she was upset she’d just been interrupted.

“Rey Niima. What the  _ fuck?! _ ” Rose all but shouted into the phone. Ben chuckled from nearby and shook his head while Rey winced and cautiously pulled the phone back to her ear after jerking it away. “You wanna know what I just got on my doorstep today? A newspaper with a  _ big fucking picture _ of you and goddamn  _ Ben Solo _ holding hands and walking down the streets of Hollywood!” Rose screamed. 

Rey nibbled at her bottom lip and flicked eyes to Ben that begged for help. He just put up his hands in surrender and started to plate their breakfast without another glance back at her. “You have so much explaining to do! The man is out of rehab for a few weeks and you’re already back in his arms! Do you even remember how sad and hurt you were?”

Rey just continued to stand there by the phone, stuck in place while Rose went on and on in her ear about how she couldn’t even believe what she was seeing or reading while Ben sat down at the kitchen table and started to eat. He still wore an amused grin on his face as he chewed on bacon and started to butter toast, obviously watching and hearing everything.

Before she even knew what she was doing, Rey slowly pulled the phone away from her ear and carefully set it down on the kitchen counter with a mischievous glint in her eye. Ben made an impressed face at her clever trick and watched as she left the phone on the counter to come grab her own breakfast and sit down with him. They listened as they ate while Rose went on for a long time before realizing she was hearing nothing back.

And when Rose started to ask if anyone was even there, Rey and Ben couldn’t help but laugh to themselves as they ate and nudged each other fondly. Who cared if Rose or the media or everyone in the world didn’t like how fast Rey and Ben had found each other again after everything that happened? All that mattered to them was that they were back with each other, and that was more than enough. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Awww... my babies :,)  
> Hope y'all enjoyed! As always, be kind in the comments xx


	17. Remember

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope y'all enjoy! xx

When Ben asked her to come to the studio and see the rest of the band only a week after it was published in the news that they were being seen together again, neither of them revealing anything about their current relationship, Rey had to admit she was excited. She hadn’t really played the guitar seriously in over a year and was excited to work on something that would actually be listened to by millions of people.

The idea that she would be playing guitar for the next album they’d finally agreed to work on sent a thrill through her and it certainly made up for being yelled at by Rose every day. Of course her best friend had every right to be upset with her, especially after seeing the worst of the aftermath, but Rey felt confident in Ben and was willing to deal with her best friend’s anger if it meant keeping him around.

She’d decided rather quickly to play the guitar for them, an idea Ben had brought up only eight days ago, but it felt right to do it, so she went for it. And now, they were pulling up on his motorcycle to the studio his mother owned while a few eagerly waiting paparazzi hoping it would be their lucky day suddenly started whipping out cameras and snapping pictures.

Ben took Rey’s hand with a comfortable smile and pushed some of his hair back once they dismounted the motorcycle and started to walk to the entrance of the studio. They hadn’t said anything to the media, not even one word, so most of the articles that had been published were speculation about what their current relationship was and where it might go.

One media source that had certainly started to get involved was that of the Catholic church-- especially religious women. With the 80s finally arriving, many of these devoted women had started finding a braver voice against rock and had even started to protest outside of the Bourbon Room. Finn and Poe had been having to kick out the religious protesters for a few days now, but their numbers were surprisingly growing.

They stood across the street on the corner in tidy and appropriate pantsuits with large picket signs saying  **ROCKERS GO TO HELL** , among other things, though they weren’t that nice. The main side they took was that Rey had been corrupted by rock, using her Catholic background to explain that she was ultimately a victim of these ‘savages,’ as they put it, and had been sucked into a world of sin. Rey didn’t really care for the fact they were saying she was stuck and a victim, but one look at Ben made her feel like she couldn’t give less of a damn what they said. 

In fact, Rey hadn’t even called or gone back to Chandrila Catholic school in fear she’d be tossed out immediately and rejected. She knew that Sister Maz had invited her to call or talk any time she wanted, but Rey found herself moving farther and farther away from the religious background and more towards the rock and roll future she was pursuing. 

Speaking of, Rey walked into the recording studio alongside Ben with her hand in his, and could feel her own eyes widen as she took in the giant booth filled with equipment and microphones behind a glass wall where someone was recording on the other side. Nerves started to course through her due to the fact she’d never actually gotten this far with music before, but Ben just squeezed her hand assuringly and led her into the instrument side of the room.

The other band mates were already inside at their respective places and all of them offered a sympathetic but warm smile to Rey when she entered. “Glad to have you back,” Mitaka called from across the room, a twinkle in his eye along with a grin that had Rey knowing he internally bet she would be back. She just nodded with a blush and a smile before picking up the only other guitar in the room.

Ben let go of her hand to go to the microphone, pulling out the journal that had all of their song lyrics written into it while he adjusted the stand to bring it to his height. “We really are glad to see your face again. And… it’s nice to see him back to his old self,” Phasma murmured, swaying beside Rey. Rey quickly jerked her head up and blinked at the other guitarist who was grinning. 

“Oh! It’s, um, nice to see you all too. I have to admit that I… I never really thought I’d ever see or talk to any of you again. It was just a rough time, but…” Rey looked over to Ben who was still flipping through the journal to find the first song they’d be recording. “But I think we’re back on track,” she finished with a small smile. When her eyes rested back on Phasma’s all she found was a kind face and sparkling eyes that agreed fully with her that they were back on track. “Alright, how about we start with the first one in the journal, yeah?” Ben questioned the whole group.

Everyone nodded and turned to their instruments as the recorders on the other side of the glass gave a thumbs up after adjusting the dials in front of them. The music flowed easily through Rey’s fingers as she played the chords they had written down together while Ben sang in that voice she loved so much. Her fingers seemed to soar over the strings even though her eyes were glued to the back of his body.

Ben had this certain way of… moving when he sang. His shoulders were turned inward towards the microphone as his legs were spread open and somewhat limp looking. His hands gripped the microphone and he always tilted his head back while he sang. Rey should’ve known from the first minute that she saw him perform so long ago that she would be hooked on this man.

He was so handsome when Rey first met him, and he still was-- maybe even more than ever now that he was sober. With long jet black locks, a body built like a fridge, and eyes that conveyed just how sweet he was underneath all the layers of ink on his arms, Ben Solo was definitely the man for her and Rey knew that she would never leave him going forward.

So she played the guitar like her life depended on it and Ben wailed away on the mic, all of it making one of the most exciting songs Rey had ever heard or played. By the time they were done, everyone on the other side of the recording studio was already giving the thumbs up that they’d gotten it perfectly and they’d start to work on it to give it that shiny final touch. 

So the band moved on to the next song, and the song after that, and then the next one after that until they’d recorded  _ all ten _ songs. Sure, Rey and Ben and everyone else was somewhat sweaty and out of breath by the end of it, but their wide smiles and wild eyes suggested they had enjoyed every single minute of recording and didn’t mind at all that they were soaked. 

When they’d finished up recording for good, Ben walked over to Rey and wrapped his arms around her, swamping her in a giant hug before swaying her from side to side proudly. “Is it just me or was that an actually perfect recording session? I think we got everything,” Ben chuckled, his chin on top of her head. Rey just slapped her hand against him with a smile and pulled away to look up at him.

“How about we all go celebrate at the Bourbon Room as a group and go watch some other people perform for a while?” Rey suggested, turning to look at the others still packing up who’d been listening. “I’m always down for listening to music, you know that,” Hux laughed, setting his guitar down as he turned to the group. Ben shifted anxiously beside her, but Rey was already on top of it. “Don’t worry, no drinking allowed for anyone,” she told him softly with a smile.

He seemed to breathe a sigh of relief at that and nodded, pulling her closer before turning to the door to walk out with everyone else following behind him, Rey tucked against his side. When they exited the recording studio, there were more paparazzi waiting and the camera flashes went off immediately. Rey and Ben scurried to the motorcycle while the others got into their respective cars, everyone taking off while shouts and pops of light surrounded them.

Rey vaguely heard someone scream out to the others, “They’re going to the Bourbon Room!” but Ben just sped up the bike and tore off down the Hollywood streets before they could watch the mad dash that was about to occur from the camera wielding crowd. “They really want to know everything, don’t they?” Rey asked with a laugh as she cozied up to his back. 

Ben just chuckled and nodded his head, turning the bike around a corner to head down the long stretch of road that would take them to the bar. “You gonna talk to your dad at all while we’re there?” Rey questioned after a few minutes of driving down the streets while people pointed and squealed when they saw the couple speed past. “Probably, yeah. It’s always nice to catch up. I need to call my mom at some point too,” Ben agreed.

Rey nodded and snuggled against the black leather jacket he wore, smiling to herself as she listened to him talk. A year ago, she couldn’t even begin to imagine Ben talking about reaching out and checking in with his family, but now he talked about them all the time. He’d even invited her to come over to a family dinner that night, something he tried to fit in once a week, and Rey had happily agreed while getting dressed to go record.

When they finally pulled up to the Bourbon Room, it was to a giant mass of Catholic women protesting across the street with megaphones and giant signs. They all seemed to go insane when they saw who it was that was pulling up, however, and the main woman that appeared to be in charge of the rally called out Rey’s name through the megaphone. 

Unable to resist, Rey turned her head to look at the crowd only to go still when she saw that Sister Maz was one of the women standing on the corner. “Come on, Rey. Let’s go,” Ben murmured beside her, oblivious to the interaction that was taking place as Rey stared at Maz who was staring back at her with watery eyes. “Give me a minute, Ben… I’ll see you inside,” Rey just whispered back.

She let go of his hand and crossed the street to the women, the group going absolutely insane and verbally trashing her outfit that consisted of black thigh-high boots, a short leather skirt, and a black bodysuit that showed off her sides. Sure, she didn’t really look very religious, but Maz just stared at her like a mother who hadn’t seen her child since she ran away.

So Rey ignored the other women who were shouting and screaming in disgust as she approached, reaching out to take Maz’s trembling hands instead as the older woman peered up at her behind her giant glasses. “You look… grown up,” Maz told her with a choked up voice. Rey couldn’t help the tears that started to bloom up behind her eyes and she bit her bottom lip, not sure if she could actually speak at the moment.

Instead, Rey nodded with a shaky laugh and tightened her hold on Maz’s hands. “He… he treats you well then? And he’s… better? You love him?” Maz questioned, her eyes looking to the side to glance at Ben who was waiting by the motorcycle with worried eyes. “Yes… yes, he’s all better and I love him and he treats me perfectly,” Rey agreed, still ignoring the other protesters detesting every word she was saying. “I’d like to meet him, if you don’t mind. I never had children and you never had parents so… I feel we’re the closest we both have to family,” Maz told her bravely. 

With a determined nod, Rey gently tugged Maz away from the crowd who now went even crazier as Rey led the nun away from them to cross the street over to where a wide eyed Ben was waiting. As they approached the rockstar dressed in all black, Rey gave him a reassuring smile while Maz clutched onto Rey’s figure with worried eyes. “Ben… this is Sister Maz. This is the nun I was telling you about, the woman who I consider to be my mother,” Rey introduced.

Ben quickly stuck out his hand to the much smaller woman and Maz hesitantly met it with her own, camera flashes popping off in the distance that just went to show the paparazzi had already found them. “It’s very nice to meet you, ma’am. Rey’s told me all about you,” Ben greeted with a slightly nervous tone. Maz just smiled and shook his hand a little bit firmer as she relaxed.

“I must admit when I found out my sweet little Rey had started to date a rockstar, I was… shocked, for lack of a better term. I was worried she’d get into so much trouble and go down a dark path, and it did seem dark for a while there, but I think I can see now how happy the both of you are together,” Maz admitted as she pulled her hand away. 

Ben nodded and was quick to assure that he wouldn’t let anything like the incident happen again and he fully intended to maintain his sobriety, even if his girlfriend worked at his father’s bar. They all shared a bit of a laugh at that as more paparazzi started to gather, and it was mutually decided it would be best if they went their separate ways with the promise that Rey would start reaching out again.

Ben and Maz shared another handshake that was much more affirming than the first one they had, but in the end, it appeared that Ben had gotten the approval of the nun that had raised Rey since she was little. “That wasn’t so bad, was it?” Rey asked with a smile as she laced her fingers into Ben’s. He just scratched the back of his head with a smile and gave one last look to the religious protesters across the street before tugging her into the bar where the other band mates were already waiting.

“I can see it now,” Hux teased as they sat down at one of the tables set up during the day before the night rush came in. “Nun and rockstar, peace among worlds,” Hux continued with a laugh, swiping his hand in the air to give the gesture they should imagine it in front of themselves. “The media is going to go crazy with that one,” Phasma agreed, raking a hand through her short blonde hair as she chuckled. Rey just cozied up next to Ben and joined along with a small laugh. 

No one ordered anything when one of Rey’s co-workers came by to ask if they wanted drinks and Rey seemed to feel Ben relax in his chair when everyone denied the liquor. She knew that he still had temptations, especially since he’d been an addict for years, but she was proud that he was strong enough to resist the sinful drink that had nearly destroyed their relationship.

“So, Rey, any actually good bands come through here during the day, or is it just at night?” Mitaka asked as he leaned back in a chair and turned to look at the stage that was being set up while the bar slowly started to fill with people who had heard the Knights of Ren were in attendance. No paparazzi, of course. “Oh, sure. We get lots of good bands that come through here. I’m afraid nothing really happens though when they leave,” Rey admitted sadly.

It was true. So many good bands that barely had any following, let alone anyone who actually knew their names, came through the bar during the day to perform to the small crowds in hopes someone would pick them up. Of course, the majority of them passed through like tumbleweeds and eventually disintegrated to nothing as their dreams failed to materialize. 

Ben frowned next to her and watched as the first band of the day walked out onto the stage to perform to the thirty people currently in the crowd. Everyone at their table turned in their seats to glance at the group of four and listened without a word as the band played a few songs, gave it their best, and thanked the audience before leaving. “Alright, I have to admit… they were pretty good,” Hux confessed roughly thirty minutes later, the first words spoken by the group since the small band had played.

“And you said nothing really happens to them when they leave the stage?” Ben asked through furrowed eyebrows, turning in his seat to look at Rey who had crossed her arms and tilted her head to the side as she watched. “Pretty much… they usually just get a drink afterwards in hopes someone will go up to them, then they take the money offered by your dad and go on their way,” Rey told him.

Ben looked towards the bar with hardened eyes and continued to stare at it until he saw the group of four artists walk out of the back room with heads hung low and insecure postures while the next band got ready on stage. “I’ll be back in a minute,” Ben murmured to the group before getting up from his chair and walking to the bar where the first band was taking a seat.

Their own little group watched with confused eyes as Ben made his way over, Rey especially considering she had no idea what he was up to. “What do you think he’s doing?” Phasma asked, turning her eyes to the three others around her that were also a little bewildered. “He better not be recruiting for our own band. I think we have plenty of guitarists now,” Hux joked. They all murmured in humored agreement and watched as Ben talked to the group while the band on stage started their own set.

They weren’t as good as the ones before them, but Rey tapped her foot along to the music and bit her bottom lip as she flicked her gaze from the stage to her boyfriend who was still talking to the now stunned looking bandmates. Rey watched as Ben grabbed a pen and napkin from the bartender currently on the job and jotted something down before handing it over to the lead singer.

Then, he was on his way back to the table with a small smile and a relieved expression on his face. Everyone else had already turned their attention to the band currently performing, not paying attention to Ben as he sat back down. Rey, however, turned instantly to her boyfriend with a muddled expression, cocking her eyebrow up in a way that practically told him to spill what he’d done. Ben took in a deep breath and angled his body towards her before leaning in so the others wouldn’t hear.

“Alright, hear me out, because I’ve got a crazy idea. When we go on tour, we’ll want to have opening bands, right? What if we had a new opening band every single night we went on tour, and all of those bands were ones we found who played here during the day and never got an offer?” he asked, an excited smile covering his face and showing off his dimples.

Rey’s heart seemed to flutter in her chest as she listened to his suggestion and instantly fell in love with it. “Ben… you’re a genius,” she agreed with a smile of her own, reaching out to grab his cheeks and pull him in for a kiss while he jumped a little in surprise at her matched enthusiasm. “Woah, what’s happening over here?” Mitaka asked only a few seconds later when he finally caught attention to the fact Ben had returned.

Rey nodded at him in encouragement and held his hand under the table for extra support while Ben adjusted in his seat after their short make out session. “Well, I was just talking to that band over there and I had an idea I shared with Rey a few seconds ago. What if we… had a different opening band every night on tour, and they were all bands that played here during the day?” he proposed, looking nervously at all of his band mates.

Phasma was the first to nod, then Hux, then Mitaka as they slowly all got on board with the idea. “I think that sounds really good. They’d be able to perform to giant audiences and get a lot more interest from record labels if they opened at our concerts,” Hux explained. Everyone nodded with a newfound exhilaration. “Well, I guess that means we’ll be spending a lot more of our time here,” Phasma laughed.

“I already do,” Rey murmured, cozying up to Ben as she snaked a hand around his arm and rested her cheek on his shoulder. He just laughed softly as he tilted his own head to rest on top of hers, the group falling back into a content silence as they listened to the next band performing in front of them. 

*****

“Do I look okay?” Rey asked as she smoothed out the dress she was wearing and shifted on her block heels. Ben looked up from the shoes he was tying on the end of her bed and smiled at her. “You look beautiful. Keep in mind they already know you, Rey. You don’t have to impress them any further,” Ben said with a chuckle, rising to his feet as he walked over to loop an arm around her waist and pull her in for a kiss.

Rey sighed happily against his lips and locked her hands around his neck, pulling away to look up at him in admiration. “That idea you had today was amazing. I really just want to tell you how proud I am of you. You’ve come a really long way already, Ben, and I love you,” Rey told him. He grinned down at her, a little lost for words, and decided to just give her another kiss before saying, “I love you too.” 

With that, they grabbed everything else they’d be taking with them to his parents’ house and hurried out the door to get on his motorcycle before the paparazzi knew they were even out the door. The streets were quiet as they drove down them and headed towards downtown LA, Rey’s head rested against the back of Ben’s leather jacket while the wind whipped around her.

If anyone were to ask Rey a year ago where she saw herself in a year, she never would’ve said this. If anything, she probably would tell them she saw herself teaching children and helping out at Chandrila Catholic school, still close with Sister Maz and the other girls she grew up with. Instead, she was on the back of Ben Solo’s motorcycle with a career moving towards becoming a rock guitarist.

It seemed so outlandish when she put it together like that, and she never would’ve thought that being in the front row at a rock concert would change her life forever, but as they pulled into the parking garage leading to the luxury penthouses belonging to Ben’s parents, Rey couldn’t imagine her life any other way now. She loved Ben, and she loved this new life. And damn it, was she ready to finally let go of the past, take his hand, and jump into what the future had to offer. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope y'all enjoyed! As always, be kind in the comments xx


	18. Fortunate Son

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope y'all enjoy! xx

When they arrived at the penthouses only a few minutes later, it was dark out and Rey was clinging onto Ben because of how chilly she was from the outside air. The motorcycle rumbled to a halt as Ben parked the bike in the underground parking lot and both of them quietly got off of it, his hand finding hers only seconds later as he smiled. “So, just to be clear, we are telling them about your plan and the scouting and everything, right?” Rey asked. 

Ben tightened his grip on her hand but nodded, knowing internally that his mother would probably have some words about it considering she liked to book already well known bands as openers. With a deep breath, Ben and Rey stepped into the elevator that would take them to the penthouse belonging to his parents. His mind was racing the entire time up, wondering how he would tell them, but Rey’s gentle squeeze on his hand was reassuring and calm.

He looked down at her, finding her hazel eyes already trained on his, and couldn’t help but bend down to press a soft kiss against her lips before the elevator came to a halt and the doors opened. “It’ll be alright. I promise,” Rey told him kindly, tugging at his hand as she started to walk forward while expecting him to lead the way. The penthouse was the third one on the right and the door was already unlocked in anticipation of their arrival.

“Oh, that’s them!” Leia all but cheered when the sound of the door opening filled the space that had obviously been worked at for their arrival. Rey smiled at his parents as they entered her field of vision, Han grinning at her from his place behind Leia. “We were wondering if you were even going to come,” Leia gushed as she closed the door behind them and pulled both Rey and Ben into a hug.

“We wouldn’t be opposed to it if you didn’t though,” Han teased right after. Leia turned and smacked him, but Rey just giggled and leaned into Ben as he pushed himself back against her as well. “Are we going to eat, mom? We’re starving,” Ben complained, falling into the typical child routine while Rey looked between them all. Something panged inside of her when she saw them all interact so happily.

Rey never really had parents or a family. Sure, she had Maz and Rose and she always called them family, but they weren’t biological. No, her parents had left her behind on a doorstep with no second thoughts. Quickly trying to get out of that mindset and savor the dinner she was about to have with her boyfriend’s family, Rey followed behind Ben with a smile as they all headed towards the kitchen table. 

“Now, I tried to make us a nice dinner, so please help yourselves,” Leia welcomed as they all sat down, a magnificent meal of steaks, mashed potatoes, and asparagus set up before Rey. Her mouth practically watered at the sight of it, but she made herself stay calm until everyone got a portion of everything and started to eat alongside her. It was Ben who ultimately started the conversation as everyone began to cut into their steaks.

“Hey, mom? The band and I had a great idea today that I really want to share with you. It has to do with touring,” he started, keeping his eyes focused on the food in front of him. Leia lifted her head curiously and cocked an eyebrow while Han made eye contact with Rey, his look screaming  _ oh? _ She just bit her lip and looked at Ben’s profile reassuringly while the table waited.

“Well? What’s this idea?” Leia asked as she popped a piece of steak into her mouth. Ben set down his fork and knife and took in a deep breath before looking to Rey for one last burst of courage. “We were thinking about scouting the Bourbon Room and asking the smaller bands that play there during the day to open for our concerts on tour,” Ben finally opened up to her.

It seemed like everyone at the table stopped breathing as they looked up from their dinner to make sure Ben had actually said what he said. Leia’s fork was stopped in mid air while Han kept flicking his gaze from Rey to Ben with a look that now said  _ oh shit. _ Rey placed a calming hand on Ben’s shoulder and gave him a small smile, secretly loving the way he blushed a little at her assurance. 

Leia set her fork back down and exchanged a look with Han before opening her mouth to speak. “Well… that’s a, um, different idea. A lot of these starter bands that you see during the day aren’t really going to go anywhere, Ben… there’s a reason they play during the day for small amounts of money,” his mother explained slowly, as if she was trying to sound something out to a toddler. Ben sat up excitedly, however, and Rey watched his face light up as he quickly shot back, “But this could be the break they get!

“We watched a few bands perform during the day and some were actually good! I gave them my card with my business number and everything and-” Leia’s jaw actually dropped open when she heard what he said and Ben quickly shut himself up, starting to realize this wasn’t going as well as he had hoped. “It sounds like you already know what you want to do then,” Han chimed in, trying to break the growing tension.

Everyone turned their gaze to the man on the other end of the table, though all of their expressions were that of _ seriously? _ He shrugged and looked down, starting to cut into his steak again with a silent but formal acknowledgment he wouldn’t talk again. “Well, Ben, these small bands, they aren’t reliable! They haven’t played on stages as big as yours and what if they can’t even arrive at the destination on tour?” Leia tried to reason.

Ben frowned and sat back in his chair, abandoning the dinner in front of him so he could stare at his mother in disbelief. “We have the funds to help them get to the tour locations and if they’re brave enough to perform to a crowd of thirty on a slow afternoon, I think they’re brave enough to perform to a crowd of thousands on an electric night,” Ben fired back at her.

Rey nibbled at her bottom lip and poked at her food in front of her, not feeling like she should really chime into the situation considering this was between a mother and son. Leia huffed and rolled her eyes, ditching her dinner as well so she could continue arguing with her son. “Listen, if this is really what you want to do, then by all means, ruin your reputation as a star rock band,” she grumbled.

Ben’s face scrunched up in bewilderment and his posture changed as he leaned forward passionately, bridging up his hands from beside him so he could use them to talk with. “How would this ruin my reputation? If anything, I think it would give me a better one! Helping out small bands by having them start our shows? That’s a great thing!” Leia shook her head and dropped it down in her hands while the entire room went completely silent. Even Han had stopped cutting his steak to watch.

“Alright, Ben. We’ll do your idea,” Leia gave in with a tight tone, her eyes not meeting his or anyone else’s as she pulled her head away from her palms and started to eat. It took a few moments for everyone to go back to their plates, but it was fair to say that no one really talked for the rest of the dinner. And all the while, Rey could feel Ben starting to build up with frustration beside her.

*****

“Do you want to talk about it?” Rey asked once they got in the elevator that would take them back down to the parking garage. “No, Rey. Not now,” Ben replied shortly. She nodded and fiddled with the hem of her dress, knowing that dinner didn’t go well at all and that based off of how red Ben currently was in the face, he was probably desperate for a drink. “Do you want to-”

“Can we go to the bar? I really just want to listen to some music right now. I don’t want a fucking drink, I just want good music I can get lost in,” Ben quickly cut off, his hand tightening around hers as they rode down the elevator. Rey was weary at the suggestion, but assured herself that she would stop him from the temptations if he ended up wanting anything. So she just nodded and followed him to his bike without another word.

Part of her was concerned with how he was taking his mother’s reaction, but another part of her knew that all he needed to do was cool down and think about it before going forward with the plan he originally wanted. Ben quickly pulled them onto the bike and took off into the night, Rey’s arms wrapped tightly around him as she watched the streets of Hollywood fly by. 

If it was any consolation, Han liked the idea, even if he did only get one sentence in the entire night. Rey and the band members supported him too, but Rey knew how much Ben wanted his mother’s approval considering his entire career seemed to revolve around the fight they’d had when he was younger. “Ben?” Rey quickly questioned as they continued to drive down the somewhat empty streets in the direction of the Bourbon Room. Ben looked a little over his shoulder to suggest he was listening, but remained quiet.

“I just want you to know I’m really proud of you and I think it’s a great idea. I love it and I love you,” Rey told him honestly, burying her face against his jacket while the bike rumbled around them. Ben didn’t say anything to her statement, he just continued to drive until the bar eventually began to appear in the distance. Feeling a little deflated and unsure of what to do, Rey sniffed and waited as he slowed and eventually parked the motorcycle.

She was slow to get off the bike considering she was in a dress, but as soon as she got her balance, Ben was reaching for her face and pulling her flush against him as he brought her into a deep kiss. Rey jumped a little at his action but melted against him almost immediately as he kissed her passionately. There were no words he really could respond with to what she said, so he figured a kiss was the best he could do.

Fuck, he was upset beyond belief that his mother didn’t necessarily like the idea he was excited about, but he had a girlfriend and a band and a father who did, and that ultimately made everything better. “I love you very much. I… I’m so sorry for how tonight went. I know we were just supposed to have a nice dinner with my family,” Ben murmured as he held her against him.

“Ben, I don’t expect every single interaction with your family to be perfect, especially when it comes to things like talking about the future of the band. It’s a good idea and it would be nice to have your mom helping out, sure, but at the end of the day… you want it and it’s you who’s excited,” Rey told him gently. 

His gaze seemed to soften at her words and he nodded, pressing his forehead against hers as he closed his eyes and took in a deep breath. “I’m sorry for snapping at you earlier. I didn’t mean to,” he whispered with his eyes still closed. “Hey, it’s okay. Let’s go listen to some music, hm?” Rey asked, cupping the sides of his face and trying to give him a reassuring smile as her eyes crinkled up in concern. Ben nodded and laced his hand into hers, tugging them in the direction of the bar.

For a Friday night, it wasn’t as packed as Rey was used to whenever she had to work, but that didn’t mean it was slow either. There was a big enough crowd for the band that had gotten somewhat popular locally so Ben and Rey were able to slip into the back without too many people paying attention to who they were. “What do you think about them?” Rey asked after listening for a few minutes.

Ben chuckled and shook his head, his eyes scanning the crowd at all of the people who had shown up. “I think they’re fine without our help… it seems they’re already gathering quite the crowd here. I’m looking for those small bands that are good that’ll never really get a chance, you know?” Ben tried to explain. Rey nodded and fiddled with the dog tags around her neck as she thought about what he said.

For a moment, she was shot back to that night Rose had convinced her to go to the concert, Rey thinking in her mind that she was a nobody who never had a chance but… but he gave it to her anyway. She flicked her eyes up at him from behind her bangs, watching as he observed the crowd and the band. She hadn’t even started a proper job yet, had been a goody-two-shoes at a Catholic school, and wore a damn cross for God’s sake, yet… he wanted her anyway.

Rey nibbled at her bottom lip and leaned a little closer to him, resting her head on his shoulder as she circled her hands around his arm, thankful that he had given her the chance just like he was going to give the small bands a chance too. “You okay?” Ben asked, looking down at her in confusion. “Yeah, I just… I guess I want to thank you. Just thinking about what you said…

“Ben, I was a no one. I was just a silly little Catholic girl who snuck out to see a rock band and stupidly fell into you. You gave me that chance that I never thought was possible, just like the bands playing during the day, so… so I want to say thank you,” Rey vocalized sheepishly. He furrowed his eyebrows and turned away from the band and the crowd, cupping her face as he searched her eyes.

_ Fuck, had she said the wrong thing? _ “Rey, why wouldn’t I fall in love with you? Why wouldn’t I want you? Please don’t thank me for giving you a chance, if anything, it should be me thanking you,” he told her bravely. She nibbled on her lip and reached up on her tippy toes to bring him down for another kiss with a smile, practically purring at his affection. 

It felt right to be with him again, to be surrounded by rock music and in his arms and kissing his lips. She never wanted to leave his side, so when she pulled away to grin at him with a twinkle in her eye, she just snuck her arms around his waist and leaned against him as they listened to the music. All in all, the night ended up turning into something fun and enjoyable, even if it hadn’t started out all that pleasant. 

Rey and Ben had ordered some sodas to sip on as they sat in the back of the club and listened to music, Rey on his lap and his arm around her waist as they swayed and sipped and sang along to bands who did a few cover songs. Ben even laughed when one of the bands did a cover of Dream On, the first song Rey had ever heard him perform.

By the time it was one in the morning and they’d had about five sodas, they decided it was probably best to sneak out now before the rest of the crowd left alongside them. Rey yawned a dozen times on the way home, forcing herself to stay awake and stare with a dazed expression at the empty streets they passed by. Only a few people were still out walking and Rey even giggled a little when she realized she was up with them as well and in no place to judge them.

When Ben finally parked the bike outside of his apartment, Rey was practically fighting back sleep while her eyelids drooped against his leather jacket. “Come on, sweetheart,” Ben whispered, picking her up carefully in his arms before entering the apartment building. She hummed and cuddled against his chest, closing her eyes while she listened to his heartbeat. Rey was out cold before they even reached the elevator.

*****

Three weeks had passed when they finally got the call that the album was ready for them to go look at and listen to. Rey had been in the shower washing her hair free of the grime that had built up from a shift at the Bourbon Room the night before when Ben popped his head in with a grin. “Fuck! Don’t scare me like that!” Rey yelped, backing up in the shower with fright when she finally saw him.

Ignoring the scare he’d given her, Ben beamed and quickly exclaimed, “The album’s ready!” The blinked at him and took a few minutes to process what he said before a giant smile of her own was blooming over her face and her naked body was wrapped around his. “Are we gonna go listen to it?” she asked excitedly. “As soon as you’re out of the shower, you best your ass we are,” Ben laughed.

She pulled away from him almost instantly and washed out the rest of her conditioner before snatching up the towel she’d set out. Ben watched with amused eyes as Rey scrambled to pull on a tank top and some shorts, a bright red pair of sneakers following right after as she put her hair up into a bun at the same time. “Okay, I’m ready!” Rey said with a smile, although she was out of breath from running around.

“I have to say, I think that’s the fastest I’ve ever seen you get ready,” Ben chuckled, shaking his head and reaching for her hand so he could lace their fingers together and head for the door. “Do you think it’s going to be amazing? How soon do you think they’re going to be able to put it out?” Rey asked nervously. He just smiled and shrugged, not willing to give anything away considering this would be her first time putting out an album.

Rey pouted at him for not giving her any information, but she was still practically bouncing in her seat when they finally made it downstairs to his motorcycle. Of course, paparazzi were waiting for them as usual, but they were all shouting and flashing their cameras as the words ‘new’ and ‘album’ rang through the air again and again. 

Apparently, somehow, they figured out they were set to release new music, but as always, Rey and Ben just grinned and gave no comment. 

The day was particularly hot as they coasted down the streets of Hollywood. The sun beat down on Rey’s skin and she smiled the entire time there, Ben just chuckling every now and then when he glanced over his shoulder to look at her. “Had I known you wanted to put out an album with me, I would’ve just asked you sooner,” he teased. Rey stuck out her tongue at him when he wasn’t looking and rolled her eyes happily.

The other band members were waiting for them inside the main floor of Leia’s office building when the couple finally arrived ten minutes later, their skin both a little pink as a result of the summer weather. “You guys ready to go take a look and hear the album?” Hux asked with a grin, his arm slung over Mitaka’s shoulder lazily. Phasma snickered and jerked her head in the direction of the elevators. “Come on, everyone. We’ve kept your mother waiting too long,” she grumbled.

Rey squeezed Ben’s hand as they walked to the elevator, knowing that things were still a little tense about the opening band situation since Leia was still a little adamant about it. They’d talked about the idea a few times since it had been brought up, but it was clear she continued to feel the same way about it while Ben excitedly planned it all out.

Their trips to the Bourbon Room now occurred anywhere from three to five times a week to scout out bands for openers and Han had been kind enough to switch Rey’s shift so she could work at the same time Ben and the other members visited. Ben sure seemed to like her uniform too, grabbing her and sneaking off the back room every so often when no one was looking. Needless to say, Rey had been feeling a bit more… sore lately.

Her cheeks flared at the thought and she willed the dirty memories away when the elevator dinged and signaled they’d made it to Leia’s floor. “You ready?” Ben asked with a smile, his warm eyes peering down at her as they walked towards the office that was open and waiting. “Hell yes,” Rey murmured back with a beaming expression. He laughed lightly and followed behind her while they filed into the office one by one.

Leia was already waiting for them with a small grin, watching as they took the five seats set up in front of her desk. “Well? It’s ready then?” Mitaka asked eagerly as he shifted in the chair. “It’s ready… you want to see it?” Leia asked. They all nodded and leaned forward to watch as she pulled out the album from underneath the desk and set it down in front of them.

Rey was expecting the cover to be the group picture they’d taken two weeks ago in some grassy park, but everything inside of her froze when she saw that the album cover was the picture of her that had been used at Chandrila. Her lips parted in shock and she slowly reached out, picking the album up while her eyes looked at the picture of an eighteen-year-old version of herself with her bangs, sweater, and bootcut jeans.

“I…” Rey was lost for words as she stared at the picture, quickly looking up to see that everyone’s eyes were already on hers. “Did you all… did you all plan this?” she asked softly. They nodded quietly and Ben reached over without a word to turn the album over and show in bold white lettering at the very top before the track names  **NIIMA.** Rey blinked at the album name and couldn’t help it when her eyes started to water.

“Why… why would you name it after me and-and make me the cover?” she asked weakly, siffling before looking up at Ben who was smiling at her. “Because you deserve to have an album dedicated to you, especially since you were the one who made me become a better person and helped me make this amazing music. It’s time you were appreciated by more than just us,” Ben explained gently.

She nodded slowly and ran her fingertips over the cover with a shaky smile. “I love it. I love it so much,” Rey managed to get out with a wobbly laugh. Everyone else chuckled around her and before she could pull her eyes away from the album, Leia looked around at everyone and asked, “Well… would you like to hear the album you’ve created then?”

Everyone nodded and cheerfully looked at Rey who finally pulled her gaze away from the picture of herself and her last name on the album. “What? Oh! Yes, yeah… yeah, I think I’d like to hear the album, now,” she managed to get out as she wiped her eyes and looked at Ben. He smiled back at her in adoration and mouthed ‘I love you’ before Leia put the album on the record player and started the music. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope y'all enjoyed! As always, be kind in the comments :)


	19. Have You Ever Seen the Rain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy! xx

Rey stared at herself in the mirror and put down the tube of red lipstick she’d just used to paint her lips. Her eyeshadow was dark and her eyeliner matched while her bangs hung over her eyebrows so she wouldn’t have to color them in. The black, oversized fur coat she wore slipped off of one shoulder to reveal the black mini dress on underneath. Thigh high boots complimented the outfit as well and Rey had never felt more confident in her entire life as she got ready for the concert.

A knock came to the dressing room door followed by her fiancés voice. “Rey, are you almost done in there? It’s practically time to go on stage,” Ben asked in that deep voice of his. She took in a deep breath and nodded before turning around to open the door and meet his warm eyes, a smug smirk on her red lips as she looked up at him. “How do I look?” she questioned slyly. 

Ben’s eyes raked over the extent of her figure and she could see the tips of his ears go red just from taking in her appearance. “You look fucking sexy,” he admitted, reaching out to grab her waist and pull her gently against him. Rey just giggled and reached up on her tippy-toes so she could plant a giant red kiss on his cheek. “Come on rock star, we have a show to do,” she whispered against his skin.

He groaned in disapproval but followed behind her anyway as she took his hands and tugged him behind her. The backstage was a buzz of tech and sound workers, most of them ignoring the singer and guitarist who trailed through the corridors leading to the waiting area on the side of the stage where the other three members were waiting.

“There you are. What took so fucking long?” Phasma teased when she caught sight of the other guitarist. Rey just waved her off and gently pushed Ben in the direction of the two boys as she picked up the electric guitar waiting for her. “I had to do my lipstick. Haven’t worn it in a while!” Rey defended while she made sure her guitar was in tune.

Though, she had to admit, it was hard to hear what the guitar actually sounded like when the sound of thousands just a few feet away were screaming and cheering as if their lives depended on it while the opening band finished whatever songs they’d performed just a few minutes ago. “How long exactly until it’s time for us to go on?” Rey asked, looking over to Ben who was having plugs put into his ears by a stagehand. “Uh, five minutes?” he guessed, flinching when the helper pushed a little too deep. 

Rey just chuckled and shook her head, turning her attention instead to the guitar in her hands. It had been five months since the release of their last album and it had also been their best selling one yet. Within hours, the album was sold out across the nation and even the few copies that had made it across seas were gone almost immediately. 

It had been overwhelming to say the least. Rose had been ecstatic when she saw the album and got it for herself, encouraging when Rey said she was going to go on tour with the band, and sappy when she found out Ben had proposed just three months ago. The engagement hadn’t been anything special, just a night out to the Bourbon Room scouting for bands when he asked the question and got down on one knee in the back of the bar while she was still in uniform. 

They planned to get married after the tour was over, a comfortable year and a half wait of music and fun and love. It was safe to say that Rey was the happiest she’d ever been in her entire life. She called Maz a few times a week and reestablished a relationship with the religious woman while Rose did the same with Ben. Leia eventually came around to the opening band idea and family dinners were easier.

When Han and Leia figured out that Rey and Ben were engaged, they were both surprisingly pleased despite the fact the couple thought they would freak out. Han, however, seemed more worried about whether or not Rey would still be working at the Bourbon Room. It was decided at some point that Rey would have a job there whenever she wanted, especially after the tour. 

Though she and Ben both figured they’d want a rather long break, not including their honeymoon after the wedding. 

Speaking of, the tour had only started roughly a week ago, their eighth show tonight in the same LA venue that had given the public the first picture of their relationship. Rey smiled a little to herself at the thought and finished up with her guitar before looking to the other band members who were waiting for the cue to go on stage.

When the lights dimmed to signal it was time for them to go on, the screams from the crowd reached ear shattering levels and all of the band broke out into face splitting grins. “Alright guys, here we go,” Ben encouraged from over his shoulder as they stepped onto the stage at the same time under the cover of the darkness to find their assigned spots. 

It was a few moments still in darkness before Ben grabbed the microphone and screamed into it, “Are you fucking ready to rock?!” The stadium somehow grew even louder in noise, so much so that Rey winced and felt the need to cover her ears, though she held back from doing so. Ben laughed and shook his head, leaning back into the mic, “I said… _are you fucking ready to rock?!”_

And with that, the lights turned on, the screams were deafening in Rey’s ears, and then her fingers were on the guitar playing the wicked entrance to their opening song as Ben smiled back at her. 

*****

“Where the fuck are we going?” Rey asked with a laugh, sweat still running down her face and cheers still echoing in her ears as they left the stage, her hand in Ben’s. He just grinned at her over his shoulder and led her through the winding hallways that brought back a flood of memories from the very first time Rey had ever been to an LA concert.

Sure enough, they ended back up in the garage with Ben’s motorcycle sitting in the nearest spot. “We aren’t,” Rey immediately stated when he started to drag her towards it. “Oh yes we are. Come on, I’m taking you somewhere,” Ben teased, tugging her harder in its direction.

Rey just sighed and went along with it, climbing onto the back of the bike as Ben brought it to life with a cheeky grin. She shook her head and wrapped her arms around him as she leaned her forehead against the back of his leather jacket with a deep breath. Never in a million years did Rey think she would ever have this life. The ring around her ring finger seemed to go along with that thought as well. It was a beautiful thing really, simple, but with a giant diamond right in the middle.

For a while, Rey thought it was a bit gaudy to have that big of a rock on her tiny hand, but it slowly started to grow on her with each passing day she wore it. Sometimes, if she thought about it for too long, Rey would laugh to herself at the realization her name would soon be Rey Solo. “What are you laughing about back there?” Ben asked as he moved the bike to a position they could leave on.

“Nothing, nothing. Just take me to whatever surprise you have planned, dummy,” Rey huffed, slapping his chest lightly while she waited. He whistled at her demanding commentary but soon took off into the night, the crowd outside already expecting them to show off. Of course, camera flashes went off like crazy and all Rey could do was grin widely and wave at the crowd that screamed.

_Those pictures would definitely be on the front page news._

Once they escaped the busy downtown of LA, it was rather calm sailing to what Rey soon recognized as Hollywood. She wasn’t sure exactly what was in Hollywood that would make Ben want to go there for a surprise after a big concert, but she held on anyway and let the cool night air dry her sweat. Not the most pleasant thing, but it was better than being fucking drenched against a sexy rock legend.

It came as quite a surprise then when the couple pulled up to a rather empty looking Bourbon Room. Rey frowned, knowing that the bar would usually be jam packed right about now on a Saturday, but it was dead and dark instead. “Ben…? What exactly do you have planned?” Rey asked as he stopped the bike.

“Just trust me on this, okay?” Ben asked with a chuckle. She nervously bit her bottom lip but nodded, taking his hand for assurance as Ben led them to the entrance of the bar and opened the door for her. None of the lights were on until Ben flipped a switch, the empty area suddenly coming to life with lights that were hung across the ceiling in big, romantic swoops. Rey couldn’t help but smile at the fantasy-like style of the room.

“Alright, you’ve got my attention, that’s for sure,” she agreed quietly. Ben laughed and gestured to the stage where a single guitar was set up along with a spot light. Only one chair was set up on the floor in front of the stage and Rey figured it was meant for her. She cocked an eyebrow at his suggestion wordlessly, but followed anyway and walked over to go take her seat.

Ben clambered up to the stage and picked up the guitar, tuning it to the perfect spot while Rey crossed her arms and sat back in her chair. “Are you going to serenade me? Because you’ve already kinda done that, Ben,” she teased. “No, I’m not serenading you. I just… I wanted to play something for you, if you’ll actually let me,” he shot back with a humorous tone.

Rey rolled her eyes but nodded anyway and waved him on. Ben gave her a grin and turned his attention down to the guitar in his hands before he started to strum out a slowed down and more romanticized version of Dream On. The smug grin on Rey’s face slowly started to disappear as she listened to Ben play the song that had captured her attention the very first time she saw him. 

“Every time when I look in the mirror… all these lines on my face are getting clearer. The past is gone… it went by, like dusk to dawn,” Ben began slowly, the drawn out beat more soft than anything else. Rey leaned forward in her seat and listened intently, watching as his fingers strummed the strings steadily and slowly just like a guitar expert’s would.

His voice was like honey in her ears and all Rey could do was sit there in absolute awe as her fiancé performed the first song that had brought them together. By the time he finished, tears were in her eyes and one even managed to snake its way down her cheek only to drip off and land on her bare arm. “Did you like it? I’ve been thinking about putting out a remastered version… me singing and you on guitar,” Ben explained.

Rey nodded quickly and wiped her face, standing up from the chair so she could walk over and lean against the stage, her arms folding in front of her as a means to rest her chin on. “I think it was perfect, Ben. I love it. Almost as much as you,” she teased through a wobbly voice. He just rolled his eyes and set the guitar down to the side, extending a hand to her so he could help her up onto the stage.

She took it with a grin and found herself sitting beside him only a few seconds later, both of them looking out to the empty Bourbon Room opened for no one but the two of them. Rey gently tilted her head and leaned it against his shoulder as she sighed and closed her eyes blissfully. “How do you think the tour is going so far?” she asked. 

Ben shrugged, careful not to disturb her resting frame too much, and hummed a tune to a melody Rey hadn’t heard before. _Leave it to Ben to already start writing music even though they’d just put out an album and were going on a nationwide tour._ “I think it’s going pretty good. Can’t wait until I can have you all to myself, though,” Ben admitted with a small laugh. 

She chuckled alongside him and nodded, reaching over so she could wind their hands together. “Did you ever think you’d have this?” Rey asked with a tiny voice, her eyes still scanning the room that usually brought so much life and laughter and music and memories. Ben looked at her with a questioning glance, but it didn’t take Rey looking up to know he was wanting her to explain what she meant.

“I know I’ve told you a million times, I just never thought this would ever be my life. I just figured I’d be a teacher and settle for someone to love and have the same friends in my life forever. To be honest with you, guitar wasn’t something I even remotely considered doing for a living. I played a few times for the church band and that was it. Now… now I’m an electric guitarist in a rock band,” she confessed.

Rey laughed to herself at how absurd that seemed to sound and squeezed Ben’s hand reassuringly to let him know that she didn’t regret the path she was on at all. 

“No,” Ben said suddenly. It was her turn to look up at him, but his eyes were scanning the room just as hers were a few moments ago. “I mean… no, I never thought I’d have this. You know better than anyone I was an addict. I liked drugs and drinking and fucking around. I never thought I’d be… sober and happy and… in love,” he told her gently.

Rey kissed the side of his shoulder with a nod and encouraged him silently to go on. Ben huffed and shook his head, looking down at where their hands were connected and the giant engagement ring sat on her finger. He reached out to twist the object around her finger mindlessly as he thought of what to say next. “Rey, I’m being honest when I say I never thought I would even live this long,” he finally said.

Her heart seemed to skip a beat in her chest at his words, but she remained quiet so he could clarify what he was saying. “Rockstars, we… if the alcohol doesn't kill us, then it’s definitely the drugs. I was going in a downhill spiral fast, Rey. Even I thought I was going to die when the incident happened, but I didn’t. And I was given this remarkable second chance.

“Without it, I wouldn’t have put out two albums, gotten the help I needed, got you back in my life, and I wouldn’t be happy. I’m all of those things now and I’m just… I’m thankful. But I also need to be honest with you when I say… this is it, Rey. I’m tired and I’m ready to say goodbye to this, all of this,” Ben told her sadly. He squeezed her hand as he looked at the empty area from the stage.

“I’ve been performing and doing music for as long as I can remember, and I’m ready to take a break. I’m ready to finish this tour, then get married, then go on a honeymoon and do whatever else comes after that. Fuck, if you want a family then I want a family. I’ve had my fun, but I’ve had my danger too. And now that I’m on the other side… I want to preserve that happiness as long as I can.”

Rey nodded in understanding as Ben spoke, his words passionate and sounding like they’d been thought out for a while now. “Hey,” she whispered with a small smile. He turned his head to look down at her, worry evident in his eyes as he waited for her response. “I think that sounds like a perfect plan, Ben. You know I’ll do anything you want, just as long as you’re beside me,” she told him genuinely.

He nodded and leaned down to connect his forehead against hers, both of them closing their eyes as they sighed and bathed in each other’s presence. As much fun as their life had been from meeting at a crowded concert to dangerous rumors to love yet again, it was time for them both to pursue a happy life together. That didn’t mean they had to give up music by any means, and it seemed they both understood that.

Rey knew they’d still play the guitar and write songs for fun, and maybe one day they’d release something just for the hell of it because they wanted to, but she was honestly just as ready as he was to have some time for themselves. As far as she knew, ever since she’d been with Ben, the camera had always been in their faces. She wanted peace and quiet and joy beyond belief.

“So a family, huh?” Rey asked teasingly as she pulled away from their gentle embrace. Ben chuckled and shook his head, “How did I know that would be the thing you’d focus on?” Rey just nudged him and kicked her feet out in front of her while Ben set the guitar down beside him. “I wouldn’t mind having a few little ones running around,” she admitted.

Ben groaned and leaned back so he could lay against the stage. “Tour, wedding, and honeymoon first, honey, please,” he begged. Rey nodded happily and they both leaned against each other, observing the empty space and soaking up one another’s attention.

*****

They woke the next morning in each other’s arms, asleep on the stage with the fairy lights and spot light still on above them. The sound of footsteps working to set up tables and chairs was ultimately what pulled Rey out of her sleep, and her movement then triggered Ben’s consciousness. She blinked away her sleep and rubbed her eyes as she looked for the cause of the noise, spotting Han just a few feet away setting up.

“I was wondering when you two would wake up. You know they’re looking for you, right? You have to get on the road and get to your next show after all,” Han teased. “Shit, is it that late?” Ben groaned, suddenly clambering to his feet and helping Rey up after him. Han just nodded with a grin and looked to the door that suddenly burst open, the familiar three faces of their band members following in right after. “There you two fucking are! We have a goddamn bus to catch!” Phasma snapped at them.

Ben nodded tiredly and wiped a hand down his face before jumping off the stage to go and join the three friends that obviously appeared to be in a hurry. “Come on, Rey, we gotta go!” Mitaka groaned, looking back at the girl who was still standing on the stage. “Yeah, I’m coming! Just give me a minute, I need to stretch… fuck,” Rey grumbled. 

They waved her off and hurried out of the door at the same time Han left the main floor to go and grab more furniture to put out. The guitar still sat on the stage next to where they’d been sleeping and Rey bent down to pick up the instrument wordlessly, the strap fitting snugly around her neck as she looked down at the chords and stroked them lightly.

Before she knew what she was even doing, her fingers were strumming out the melody and her soft voice followed to fill the abandoned room. “Yeah darlin' go make it happen… take the world in a love embrace. Fire all of your guns at once and… explode into space. Like a true nature's child, we were born, born to be wild. We can climb so high, I never wanna die…” 

The sound faded out as she finished strumming, the room still empty in front of her with no audience to hear the soft rendition she’d created. A small smile tugged at her lips while she pulled off the guitar, somewhat happy she’d had that moment to herself, when Ben pushed back into the Bourbon Room with questioning eyes. “Rey? Come on, sweetheart, we have to go,” he urged.

“I’m coming, I’m coming!” Rey called back, hopping off the stage and reaching out to take his hand with a grin. The door closed slowly behind them on the empty room with the single guitar still set up in the spotlight, the future looming far ahead as they walked away from the place where it had all begun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh it's over! I'm so sad but so happy at the same time, haha! I hope y'all enjoyed this fic, so one last time, be kind in the comments and thank you for reading! :)


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